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The pebble in the Shoe

Updated on August 9, 2012

Let us be builders


The first word is important

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18 New International Version)

Did you notice the first word in this verse?

IF it is possible.

Now sometimes there we all encounter the pebble in the shoe. You know, when we have a pebble in out shoe, at first, it is annoying. If we don’t take it out, it will cause painful blisters. If that is not taken care of it will become toxic and then you will have problems. So too it is with people. There are people that are like the pebble. Just as we must get rid of the pebble, so too, must we get rid of toxic people no matter who they are. For many, that means a relative. How about a domineering mother or father, how about a leech for a brother or sister, how about a nagging or whining grandmother or grandfather? Don’t feel bad because you distance yourself from them. If you don’t, they will become toxic in your life and your families life. It will be filled with anger, resentment, frustration and many fights.

If you have a mother or father that is interfering in your marriage or raising of your children, distance yourself from them. Inform them politely that they are too domineering and yes, toxic in your family. Don’t allow them to pull the guilt trip on you. “How can you do this to me? I’m your _______ “(fill in the blank). Just reply: How can you be so self centered and greedy. You don’t respect me. You don’t care about my wife and I. You only care about what you want. You will not see us again until you learn to grow up. And then, stick to it. If they abused you when you were a child and refuse to admit it or apologize, just inform them they are out of your life until they grow up and do what is right. The same goes true for friends, at school or work.

I had some very toxic relationships. When they were in my life, they caused nothing but trouble. As soon as they were informed to hit the road, my life had a lot less trouble. To this day, if I see them, I will just have a generic conversation with them (you know, how’s the weather and such). I WIIL NOT share any personal information with them. If they ask me to go have lunch with them, they are informed straight out “No thank you. You are nothing but trouble.” Then, I turn and walk away from them. I don’t care if their feelings are hurt. Better he who stirs the pot is burned by the pot than the innocent made to drink of the vile concoction being brewed within. For some, it has been over thirty years since I have spoken with them and my life is better for it.

“Their venom is like the venom of a snake …” (Psalm 58:4 New International Version)

Just because you are a child of God does not mean you have to let people walk all over you. Jesus never did, so why do you think He would want you to?

When people who are trouble walk my way, I walk away. Joseph- Anthony: Green

People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, rash, treacherous, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 2 Timothy 3:2-5 New Imitational Version

Prayer: Please Jesus Rohi (Jesus my Sheppard) guide me away from toxic relationship. When I have to be in their presence because of things like work, please give me the strength and wisdom to deal with the in the same manner you dealt with the scribes and Pharisee’s. In Your discreet name I pray. Amen.

May the sunshine of Jesus’ sweet love bless you today and every day.


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    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Hi JY.

      Thank you for the kind compilment. I believe I write in conjunction with the Holy Spirit.

      God bless you.

    • JY3502 profile image

      John Young 

      6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      You have a great way of getting the message across. Interesting from beginning to end.

    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Hi teaches.

      You're welcome.

      It was extremely painful for me to distance myself from some toxic people but am glad it happened.

      God bless you.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      Teacherjoe, I have had to distance myself from toxic people in the past. They will only bring you down and destroy your faith. Thanks for sharing from the Biblical perspective on the subject.

    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Hi Nikki.

      I think, unfortunately we all have had encounters with toxic people.

      Just remember, please do not hold a grudge towards them, or hate them.

      Rather pity them. For thier destiny is to be the loniest people on the planet. I have seen it so many times.

      Thank you for your Bible quote. I like 2 Timothy 3:15.

      God bless you.

    • Nikki Major profile image

      Nikki Major 

      6 years ago

      Great Article are right on so many points.. toxic people ruin lives... Sometimes we have to come from among them and be ye separate. That's the bible.

    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Hi Icbenefield.

      It only took me fifty years to learn this lesson in a most painful way.

      I agree, we must never stop prying for them and must keep our distence from them.

      Thank you for your wonderful comment.

      God bless you.

    • lcbenefield profile image


      6 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks for this message. Sometimes, it is hard to eliminate toxic people you are related to. My grandmother was a toxic relative. I loved her but I did have to allow distance between us. Some people think as Christians we are to love everyone to the point of being walked on. I am so glad you made a point to tell us Jesus did not accept that. We shouldn't either. It doesn't mean we quit loving or praying for these people. Just that they are kept at a distance. Thanks for sharing this. Voted up and useful.

    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Hi Mhatter. Thank you for taking the time to go down the curious path that I am glad it helped you..

      Hi Micheal. Yes it is a very powerful lesson many people should learn. I learnt it the very difficult and painful way. My prayer is that it will help others.

      God bless you.

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 

      6 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      Thank you for this hub. It was wonderful.

      God bless you.

      Voted up.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      6 years ago from San Francisco

      This was like a curious path which led to a powerful message. Thank you for the journey


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