The Way Muhammad PBUH Treated His Wives
Muhammad PBUH treated his wives wisely. With his wives, he paid attention to different aspects. The same prevented the occurrence of a lot of problems. When an issue occurred, he had different wise ways in dealing with it.
This article consists of two parts:
In part one, the reader will learn:
The preventative ways, which include paying attention to the following sides:
- The economic side.
- The human side.
- The cooperative side.
In part two, the reader will learn:
Methods he used to deal with marital problems that occurred between him and his wives.
At the end of the article, the reader will be invited to share his opinion through a poll.
Part one: The preventative ways:
First: The economic side.
The Prophet's wives lived in chambers. In Medina, Muhammad PBUH built nine chambers for his nine wives. Each chamber consisted of:
- A sleeping room.
- A patio (a canopy).
- A courtyard with spaces for cooking, toilet, etc.
Based on the same, Sharia law requires the husband to provide the wife with an Independent accommodation for her privacy. She may refuse to share accommodation with anyone else including his parents.
2. Money matters:
Muhammad PBUH was one of the most generous people. He was so generous with his wives too.
The Qur'an was clear about the financial rights of wives and their children:
- A husband has to pay for the clothes of the wife and the children.
- He has to feed them.
- He has to provide them with a shelter.
- Women inherit.
Examples of the way Muhammad treated his wives when it comes to money matters:
The Prophet's first wife - "Khadija bint Khuwaylid"- was rich. He was trustworthy. Although he was poor, he did not take away her money. He took care of her business honestly.
On the other hand, when he got married to women who were less rich than his first wife, Muhammad asked none of them to work for making money.
In addition to that:
- He fed them.
- He bought them Clothes.
- He protected their rights.
Second: The human side:
Muhammad PBUH was fair among his wives in the matters where a person can be fair. A person can love one wife more than the other. But he can be fair to all when it comes to:
- Visiting them.
- Expressing his love to them.
- Buying things to them.
Accordingly, Muhammad had habits in dealing with his wives, such as:
In spending the time with them:
At the morning, he used to visit all his wives one by one to check their needs and pray for them, no more, no less. After the afternoon prayer, he used to visit them again. The tour used to end at the house of the wife with whom he was to spend the night. He assigned a night to each wife. Each wife knew with whom he was going to spend the night and was waiting for her night to come.
At the time of travel:
He used to make a raffle between his wives. The winner was to travel with him.
In expressing his love to them:
Muhammad PBUH expressed his love to all his wives. He also did not hesitate to show his wives the love he had for a particular wife. In other words, he did not try to earn the love of a particular wife by showing that he prefers her to the rest of his wives.
Muhammad PBUH loved Aisha. He loved her more than his wives and all the people. He found her able to teach women the teachings of Islam. She was better than the other wives. She was special to him.
In fulfilling the rights of the marital cohabitation:
Islam encourages men to pay attention to the wife's sexual needs. Muhammad PBUH did not want his followers to be religious to the extent that they avoid marriage or having sex with their wives. So, Muhammad made it clear to all men that:
- Although he is the most dutiful and obedient man among them, he gets married. As a result, whoever turns away from his Sunnah (getting married), doesn't belong to him.
- Furthermore, -in Islam- a man who has sex with his wife takes reward from Allah like a man donates money.
- Islam doesn't allow wives to discuss with their friends the details of what happens in bed with their husbands. However, Aisha had to teach women. Examples had to be from what used to happen between her and Muhammad PBUH.
- Muhammad specified four things that are enough for a man who seeks happiness. A good wife is one of them. The four things are:
- A good wife.
- A good neighbor.
- A large housing.
- Owning a mean of transportation.
Third: The Cooperative side:
1. Muhammad PBUH used to help his wives at home:
- He used to sew his clothes.
- He used to milk the sheep.
- He used to help himself.
2. Muhammad used to cooperate with his wives to do good things:
- They wake each other at night to perform the optional night prayer.
- They remind each other to feed the poor.
- They help each other in being generous with their guests.
Some husbands force their wives to live in a big family house. The wife has privacy. But she doen't want to be so close to his family.
Part two: Methods he used to deal with marital problems that occurred between him and his wives.
- Muhammad PBUH used his smile. Some problems didn't have a solution. A smile was enough to keep away the tension.
- He used to ignore some situations that bothered him. As they were not related to Allah, he ignored them. Picking on the spouse seemed to create more tension frequently.
- Muhammad was not a despotic person. He used to be patient in discussing matters with his wives. He used logic and common sense.
- He used to advice his wives. He used to remind them of the rights of the husband in particular and the commands of Allah in general.
- He used to blame his wives when it's wrong -from his side- to ignore their mistakes.
- Muhammad used to investigate matters before acting on them.
- One of his wives was superb at cooking. She sent a dish with food to him. The wife of the house felt jealous. She couldn't keep herself from breaking the dish. Muhammad returned a similar dish to the wife whose dish was broken.
- Muhammad also used abandonment as a punishment. It meant not to sleep with the wife in the same bed they used to share.
- Muhammad beat none of his wives.
In conclusion, the wives of the prophet were not perfect. He also was a human who can love one wife more than the other. However, he was fair with them. A husband should learn how to be wise with his wife. The same will prevent a lot of problems to occur. A husband has different options in dealing with the marital problems. However, beating the wife is not an option. Muhammad PBUH never beat a wife or a servant.
Please share your opinion through the following poll.
When the husband is poor, the wife shares the accommodation of his parents.
When she can not bear the situation any more, is it better for the wife:
© 2017 Muhammad Helmy