Aug. 11, 2009(13:45)
I started writing my journal at the age of 36, about to turn 37. But neither do I know how to write a journal nor do I have an idea what to write. Yet my mind has kept me through and it feels like I am blessed because I was able to grasp a simple thought through Bro. Bo Sanchez’s website. He is an inspiration to many and to my self as well.
As I was browsing through the website, I settled myself reading the article entitled “Quit Often to Succeed in Life”. I was stunned just upon reading the title of the article and questioned myself why must I quit if I want to be successful. I mean, it deliberately deviates from what I believe in. As with the old adage goes, “Try and Try until you succeed”. For the fact that, we may never be able to be successful in life if we quit on trying. So I read the article, for it intimidates me really. I have immersed myself with every detail that Bro. Bo has explained and I realized that quitting gives us an opportunity to learn an important message in our life…..to know the “purpose”.
I have no depth knowledge at all about “purpose”. Of what seems to be its significance in my life. Then I started to pray and ask God what is his real purpose in my life. I ask him to show me everyday his will for me and to understand its relevance.
All my life, I was wandering to nowhere. Not knowing what I really want, what I would really like to become. When I read the article, I started to think about my past. It breaks my heart to sadness for I know that I have failed God so many times because of my impurities, following my own desire, doing things which ignore His will.
I am raised in a religious family…attending mass every Sunday. I was even a sacristan during my early age. To the extent of embracing a priesthood life by joining seminary for four years. I mean, I have this philosophy in life before, that it’s alright to do things as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. Not knowing that my own self is being impaired which disheartened God with all those things. I kept on saying sorry, I kept on praying, I kept on convincing myself that one day I’ll get through with all of this.
I have worked to some other countries. Yet to no avail, I was even at lost. Not accounting that I give support to my family, of course, as part of my obligation. And the good thing about it was that even if I messed around, blessings were pouring in. But it seems like, it wasn’t worth enough. What am I still looking for? It could be like a more than what is sufficient, not just okay, but an overflowing blessing. But how should I acquire it?
Then here comes what “quit” means to me. Before coming to where I am working now, I prayed to God to give me a permanent and satisfying job with a good boss and good colleagues. God did not fail me. He gave the same prayer that I have asked for but with a different environment. Well of course, I did not pray to God that I should be placed in a lucrative city where all technologies, fashions…let’s say vanities are easy to reach.
It’s a different place. Peace…calm…subtle…those are the adjectives that can be cognate in this place. Then I pray and ask God what is His purpose to me for being in this place. As day goes by, I understand that God wants me to do His will…to know Him better by indulging myself everyday in prayer, gaining spiritual knowledge by reading spiritual books…that by being in this place, there are no destructions of whatsoever that may hinder my self to listen to His words. Everyday, I hear God loud and clear, his overflowing love and care; and little by little God explains to me every detail, through my prayers and reading most of Bro. Bo’s enriching articles, His purpose to me.
And I ponder……to quit into a significant aspect in our life is not merely a failure but an opportunity to grasp what is essential.
This may be a long journey but with faith, I accept it as a challenge for I know it is for my own betterment.
May God be with you and me throughout the journey!!!