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Things aren't Always as They Seem

Updated on February 2, 2012

When I was only twenty three, I was given a very good piece of advice. A friend of mine gave me this advice in response to a misunderstanding others and I had concerning his life and identity. I told him what I had heard and what I had concluded and he simply told me it isn’t wise to make assumptions. That piece of simple advice really changed the way I approached life and the way I saw things in general. I realized that day that things aren’t always as they seem and it is never wise to jump to conclusions.

I had an experience recently that brought that truth home in an even greater way. About a month ago when I went to church, I saw a couple that sat next to my mother and me and I couldn’t help but feel jealous of them. They seemed so picture perfect especially the wife. She was the slim, blond with the perfect smile and figure, her husband was handsome and she had a new baby as well as some other children. To me she was the picture of feminine success. Maybe I sound like I’m coming out to the fifties, but for me a happily married woman with a gorgeous husband and pretty children, while being able to keep her looks in tact is a measure of success, on a feminine level anyway.

I went home that Sunday questioning my life and feeling pretty cheated. I kept thinking “ I’m still single and I still haven’t found Mr. Right and here was Miss Pretty sitting next to me at church with her gorgeous husband and children and she didn’t look a day over twenty seven”. I started to question God, and life’s fairness, never realizing that even pretty people have their crosses to.

The next Sunday when I went to church I saw that same couple again, but this time I noticed something I didn’t notice before. My mother pointed out that there may be something wrong with one of her children. I did remember the previous Sunday she had to leave early because one of her children started to cry. She was carrying that same child on her lap and I couldn’t help but notice a tube coming from his body. It just so happened, her little boy had a breathing tube attached to his throat. Her precious little boy could not breathe on his own.

My picture of the perfect family came crashing down. I suddenly realized that the woman that I thought had the perfect life just last Sunday; also had a special needs child. I also couldn’t help but notice how well she handled this difficult situation. She treated this precious child with so much love and tenderness, no one would have imagine how difficult all this must have been for her. I suddenly realized how selfish I was by feeling sorry for myself, when the object of my envy truly had a difficult life. My jealousy suddenly turned to admiration.

I began to think of her very differently, I realized that she wasn’t just beautiful physically but she also had a beautiful heart to match; a heart that could only be had by a loving mother, who unselfishly gives it all for her children. My whole perspective changed when I finally got more information, and I didn’t let my over active imagination, not to mention, my feelings take over my mind.

Not only did my perspective change, but my attitude changed as well. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I started to thank God for all the good things in my life, I started to count my blessings rather than see what was missing in the picture. I also began to pray for this dear lady and her special needs child. I realized that just because I still haven’t found Mr. Right that doesn’t mean that being married meant all my troubles will be over, far from it, with every new relationship one is always faced with a new set of challenges.

Experiences like these makes one see life from a completely different perspective; I started to realize that this life is not an eternal arrangement, and was very glad for it being just a temporal state. Yes, all good things pass away, I have often experienced that, but I also realized that bad things pass as well. That it is one’s attitude that makes all the difference. A very wise woman once told me that even though we cannot always choose what will happen to us, we can choose how we will react.

For us to be able to choose the right attitude we need an eternal perspective, a perspective like the one that young woman had. I could see that even though she had a special needs child she was still at church praising God for all the blessings in her life. She saw the good He does and from her attitude, I could see she had a great deal of faith that her child will one day breathe on his own. Yes, even with the hardships in her life she is a success, someone with great faith will always be successful despite their present trials.

Life is often like an endless obstacle course with many pitfalls and endless tunnels, but we must always remember there will be an end to all our sadness, the same goes to those who think the party will never end, take heed because this life although sometimes seems endless there is always a day of reckoning, because things are not always as they seem, let us be wise and always try to see beyond the surface of our present reality.

A Happy Ending

About a couple of Sundays ago. I saw the same lady and her husband with their child, only this time the child did not have a breathing tube. He was healthy and very active. I was so happy to see that this woman's faith was finally rewarded. I hope reading this has given you some hope as well.


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    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Thank you Awful Poet for your kind words, I really appreciate your support, I'm glad you enjoyed my hub and found my way of experessing myself to be bold.

    • Awful Poet profile image

      Awful Poet 

      5 years ago from The Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC) (m-M)_0 = 18.41, or 48 kpc (~157,000

      Very intuitive and bold in it's simplicity, Thank you for sharing.

    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Thank you shygirl2, not only for your kind words but your insight as well. I'm glad you found the article to have some wisdom to impart. I learned a lot myself in process of writing it.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Great hub...guess it's a lot like not seeing the book for its cover. Life can cover up a lot of things we may not readily see. I think your friend gave you sound advice. That which you smartly took upon yourself as a way to give others a chance and make the best of your own life. See, angels do they maybe have through you, in your sharing of such sound advice! : )

    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Thank you minesgm for your comment and words of inspiration. Yes I wanted to have a positive outcome even if I had one of the most destructive of feelings. I guess when I finally got to know the subject of my envy much better I realized how wrong I was and that she was worthy of my respect and admiration instead.

    • minesgm profile image


      7 years ago from Texas

      A hub with profound contemplation of how really life is. I guess it's normal to have the feeling of envy but like what you have done, we should take it negatively but instead let those inspire us to be a better person. Sometimes we just have to be in love with our lives so that when time comes for us to share it, we have a lot to give.

    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Thank you Erin and thanks so much for stopping by. I believe honesty is important, otherwise what's the point.

    • Erin LeFey profile image

      Erin LeFey 

      7 years ago from Maryland

      Beautiful sentiments, I love your honesty. Take care.

    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Thank you very much ahorseback for your kind words and insight, yes your right we never really know it all, I for one realize how little I really know, especially about others and even myself. I'm glad you liked my hub and found it encouraging.

    • ahorseback profile image


      7 years ago

      "Hey girl", thats short for you're name ! ;-] Life is indeed a learning and growing experience , the minite I feel I "know " it all , I realize I dont know amything. Someone once said thatin fact , "the older We get ,the less We really Know". Great hub....little bits of wisdom and serenity are all we can ask of life I think.....

    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Hi Abhitheprince,

      I just want tell you how grateful I am for all your kind words and how glad I am that you liked my hub on life's ups and downs. I guess it is easy to see where I'm coming from, especially if one has experienced many things, which most of us have. I always enjoy hearing from you. I hope you experience an abundance of joy and hardly any sorrow in your life. In fact I wish we could all be sorrow free, but I know that does not come with this life.

    • Internetwriter62 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      Thank you dml42, I'm glad you found my story encouraging, I'm also glad to hear that your family and you have experienced things in your life that you are thankful for.

    • dml42 profile image


      7 years ago from Worcester, MA

      I will have to say very well put. I am not the most spiritual person, but things happen in life that bring you to question things. Experiences lately have me thankful everyday for what we have been given as a family. Thank you for your story.


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