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Asking God Why in the Face of Tragedy

Updated on March 28, 2016
lambservant profile image

Lori Colbo loves to write about her Christian faith and the Bible to encourage and inspire others.


Why, God?

Have you ever asked God why? I mean really plead with Him in your darkest hour to answer the why? I have. I ask because I want the incomprehensible to make sense with the hope that my pain, or someone else's pain to be relieved even the smallest bit. The last 24 hours God has showed me incomprehensible tragedy in other's lives. And a part of me is asking God, "Why?"


Tonight my 20 year old son called weeping because he found his friend who had taken his own life. So now tragedy is a little closer to home. It's not my tragedy in that it was not my son who took his life. It is that boy's parent's tragedy and my son's tragedy. My boy is with the police and is in a town about 25 miles away. I have no car to get to him but told him I would find a ride somehow so he wouldn't be alone. He doesn't want me to come, just to pray. I haven't found a ride and I am desperate to comfort him. So I am here at home praying tonight, as are many others. And I ask God, why did this boy end his life? Why do his parents have to suffer through this horrific tragedy? Why did my son have to be the one to find him? How will all these people be able to get through this? My boy is hurting and I can't make it better. I cannot take the parent's pain away.

What I have often found throughout my life is when I ask God "why?" for some tragedy, I don't get an answer. And truly, I know of no one who has ever had that question answered in a tragedy where a child has passed away. Is God cruel by not answering? Is he even listening? I don't believe He is cruel. It is not in His character to be cruel. And I believe He hears the prayers of His people. So I ask myself, "What if God told me why so many children are sexually abused and scarred for life, or why a sweet innocent baby gets cancer, or if God told this young man's parents why this happened to their son? (I am sure that is what they are asking now). Would we accept such answers? Would we agree with His answers? Would it make a difference? Would it take away the pain and sense of loss? No, not likely.

Questions by Steven Curtis Chapman

Steven Curtis Chapman lost his 5 year old daughter in May of 2008. Here is one of many songs that came out of that time.

Who are You God?
Cause You are turning out to be so much different than I imagined
And where are You God?
Cause I am finding life to be so much harder than I had planned
You know that I’m afraid to ask these questions
But You know they are there
And if You know my heart the way that I believe You do
You know that I believe in You
But still I have these questions

Like how could You, God?
How could You be so good and strong
And make a world that can be so painful
And where were You God?
I know You had to be right there
I know You never turned Your head
You know that I’m confused by all this mystery
You know I get afraid
But if You know my heart as completely as I trust You do
Oh, You know that I am trusting You

So is it true that for every tear I cry, You cry a thousand more
As You weep with those who weep
And are You just holding Yourself back
From crushing all the pain
And even in this world for reasons we just can’t understand for now
But isn’t there a day of redemption coming?

Redemption is coming
Come quickly Lord
Come quickly Lord
Come quickly Lord

So who am I God?
That You would raise me from the dust
And breathe Your life and Your love into me
You know that I believe

© Words & music by Steven Curtis Chapman

Job's experience

Job asked" why?" All throughout his book he asks that age old question. If anyone ever suffered it was Job. He lost everything - house, children, possessions, health and livelihood . His wife told him to curse God and die. And though his friends rallied around him for seven days, they turned against him.

Job was an amazing man and it's no wonder God said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and righteous man who fears God and shuns evil? (Job 1:8). In all that Job went through, he did not sin. God did not punish him for asking why. Instead he listened and showed him who He is. And that was enough for Job in the end.

Through his suffering Job made some comments reflecting his faith and acceptance that God could be trusted, at least in certain moments, no matter what befell him. When Job got the news that his ten children had just been killed and all his possessions and riches destroyed, Job "...fell to the ground and worshipped saying 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:20-21).

When his so-called friends started accusing him of sin and persecuting him, he replied amongst other things, "Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him" (Job 13:15), and "But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives and he will stand upon the earth at last" (Job 19:25).

Job did ask "why?" Job lamented greatly. God did not give an answer. But he restored Job, not just by giving him more children, home, possessions, health, wealth and livelihood, but by revealing to Job how great, how good, and how powerful He really is. In the end, Job declared, "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see You."

It's interesting to note that God did not restore everything back to Job until Job came to terms with God. It's so easy to declare God is good when He has fixed our problems. Job learned the most important thing first, that God is good period, and that God will always love Him and be with Him through the most difficult times.

Take His yoke upon you

I see no reason to think that asking God why? is a sin. Even Jesus cried out on the cross, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" And I don't know why God allows bad things to happen to God-fearing people, innocent people, and young people. I don't know anyone who can answer it. I've have heard people act and pontificate as to why God allows tragedy and suffering. But when tragedy strikes them, they are also asking God "why?" The things they thought they understood don't make sense once it happens to them.

None of us gets out of this life without pain, tragedy, and suffering of some kind. Jesus didn't say "Follow me and you will never suffer again." Rather He said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light" (Matt. 11:28-30).

We don't have to bear the burdens of our tragedies alone. He walks beside us, holding us up. And that is why we trust Him.



If you would lift up my son's friend's family in prayer I know they would appreciate it. Pray that Christ will bring them comfort and strength by his presence. Pray for my son and his friend as they try to cope with what they've seen and lost. They are not walking with Christ. Pray this will bring them to Jesus.

Pray for those you know who are going through hard times, disappointments, tragedies, rebellion towards God, and hopelessness. And if you are suffering today, my heart goes out to you. I won't give you a sugary platitude. I will simply say Jesus loves you and He cares. He weeps with you. He knows your pain, and He will carry you through this devastating time.

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Greg Laurie & Steven Curtis Chapman share their hope in their grief

© 2012 Lori Colbo


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    • lambservant profile imageAUTHOR

      Lori Colbo 

      9 years ago from United States

      BJC - Amen.

    • BJC profile image


      9 years ago from Florida

      Beautiful and well written hub. Nothing else to say really - just a reminder that it really is aboout HIM.

    • lambservant profile imageAUTHOR

      Lori Colbo 

      9 years ago from United States

      I love your heart Mekenzie. Thanks so much for your heartflelt comments. I have always loved the picture of Jesus as the Great Shepherd. Yea though I walk through the valley o the shadow of death I will fear no evil. Blessings to you and thanks for stopping by.

    • Mekenzie profile image

      Susan Ream 

      9 years ago from Michigan

      lambservant, you present a very important question in the light of all of these tragic stories. "Do I really see Him as He truly is? Do I see that absolute necessity of being completely and totally dependent on Him? Do I really realize that He is the best, and as good as it gets?"

      I believe that Jesus, as the Shepherd, takes us through tragedy's on this earthplace ... He never leaves us or forsakes us ... He wants us to know that HE is all we need. This process has been slow and very painful for me but as I look back I see the hand of God and His faithfulness throughout my life. I see how He continually, patiently teaches me that He is Jehovah Jirah. I have been challenged ... If I really trust Him then why don't I act like it? Yet it is these very upsetting trials that have sent me running to Him and taught me to trust.

      I will pray for your precious son and his friend too .. how earth shattering to find your friend in such a place .. interesting that though you say He is not walking with God, he called to ask you to pray. God is surely at work.

      This precious family does need us to hold them up before Father God. An innocent child being stricken like this is so difficult for us to understand .. yet we rest, as you say, in the character of God.

      Thank you for a heartfelt hub. Your writing is amazing!


    • lambservant profile imageAUTHOR

      Lori Colbo 

      9 years ago from United States

      HB I l love your heart and thank you so much for your love and prayers.

      God bless you sister.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 

      9 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      Oh lambservant. My heart is so full right now. Indeed it is not about us but all about Jesus and His perfect love. That love keeps me in faith when these tragedies rip out my heart. A young boy at church fought a to year battle with cancer and finally succumbed. I know his family is just heartbroken and so are all of us who miss him. Why? Because Satan hates us all and his primary purpose is to hurt God. So he causes these terrible things to happen to people and right now he is allowed because God's master plan is bigger than all of us.

      I will pray for Brian's family, your son and the other friends who are confused and hurting and that precious little girl. Bless you for your incredible loving heart.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      9 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA


      Maybe in some small way, part of the reason is to affect those who read the account here at HubPages. I don't believe anyone can read, I mean really read this, and not be touched in some way.

      Maybe some have suffered similar tragedies and it helps to encourage them that they aren't alone. Or maybe some like me, have to realize that except for the grace of God go I. You and these are in my prayers.

    • lambservant profile imageAUTHOR

      Lori Colbo 

      9 years ago from United States

      Dave, I see that you are right, but I wonder if Job understood this. Certainly he came out with greater faith. He was humbled and suffered enough to see God more fully. Thanks for your comments.

    • lambservant profile imageAUTHOR

      Lori Colbo 

      9 years ago from United States

      Northwind, thank you so much. You are dead on, who are we to question God. It's like the passages where God says, "who is the clay to ask the potter why are you making me this way?" Toward the end of Job God responded to Job's critique of His ways by asking Him if he could do better. "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?

      Tell me, if you know so much" (38:4). Later on in chapter 40 "Then the Lord said to Job, “Do you still want to argue with the Almighty? You are God’s critic, but do you have the answers?”

      Then Job replied to the Lord, “I am nothing—how could I ever find the answers? I will cover my mouth with my hand. I have said too much already. I have nothing more to say.”

      I find it humorous that God did not let Job off the hook that easy because in the next few verses he says, “Brace yourself like a man, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. “Will you discredit my justice and condemn me just to prove you are right? Are you as strong as God?"

      At the end Job said, "I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance.”

      I don't think it's a sin to ask why, but I do think it's the wrong question. Thanks for stopping by.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      9 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      Almighty God tells satan that he can test JOB all you wants to, you cannot shake JOB's "Faith" still JOB will remain faithful to God. Try as he did, satan could not shake JOB"s "Faith" in God and in the end, satan gives up and JOB is rewarded.

    • lambservant profile imageAUTHOR

      Lori Colbo 

      9 years ago from United States

      Thanks for commenting Dave. I have read Job many times and I guess I'm blind because I didn't find a specific answer for why the things that happened to Job happened. But I do know a few things from that story. In the end Job knew God's sovereignty and goodness like never before, he went through it with his integrity blamelessness in tact, as God bragged to Satan he would, and though. His life was transformed by God's faithfulness, love, and goodness. Love to hear more from you.

    • North Wind profile image

      North Wind 

      9 years ago from The World (for now)

      Hi Lambservant,

      Thanks for sharing this with us. I will definitely include your son, his friend and Daisy Merrick and her family in my prayers.

      Trials are not things that we can truly escape in life. I think that they do bring us closer to God sometimes. God uses all manner of things to bring His people closer to Him.

      As for the question why, I know that there are many who ask it and in the past I have asked it myself. Sometimes I am tempted to ask it but then I think to myself, 'Just who do you think you are to ask God why? He knows best.' I feel that I really do not have much of a right to ask Him that because I feel as though in asking Him that question I am hinting to myself that my decision would have been a better one. Jesus is the only one who really is worthy to ask God why, in my thinking.

      We definitely would not choose certain things in our lives but we are not the ones who know best.

      Just my thoughts on the why thing but I really do understand where you are coming from and I know the hurt that brings about that question. I have felt it myself.

      I will pray, Lambservant.

      Again, thank you so much for sharing this.

      God bless and keep you.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      9 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      I have never had the occasion to ask "WHY" because I have always known the answer. If you go to the story of "JOB" and read it carefully, you will never have to ask that question ever.


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