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Three types of friendship

Updated on October 7, 2012

Which type are you?

There are three types of friendship.

The first is the user.

They are the type of cretins that are only your friends when they want something from you. When they don’t want anything from you they ignore you. They do not socialize with your or call you or email you. When they want something from you, you are their best friend. I think it was Charles Spurgeon who said: “Someone who is your friend only because they want something is not a friend.” They are the type to always compliment you and con you into believing you’re so special. Once they have lured you into this trap they will strike you suddenly like a viper and ask a “Favour” of you. That is why it is best to always inform them to put their request in writing and give you three days to think about it. If they whine and say it needs to be done now, just inform them that it is your custom to always take it to God in prayer before making and decision. If that is not agreeable to them, perhaps it would be best to ask someone else.

Type two is the abusers and users.

They are the type to do something nice for you, then come back and make a demand from you. An example for me was when someone bought me lunch at MacDonald’s and then asked me to correct an essay for them. It cost them 25 RMB but if I had been stupid enough to correct the paper it would have taken two hours which if they paid me by the hourly rate would have been 400 rmb. Pretty good deal for them huh? Not so good for me though. When I refused they said:”I did something for you, now you MUST do something for me. You OWE me!!!” I replied with the Charles Spurgeon quote and they have not spoken with me since. That is why now whenever someone offers me a “gift” or to do something for me for which I did not ask I make sure to say in a loud voice :”Okay, you want to do something for me or give me a gift? If you are doing it as a friend and expect nothing in return I will accept it. You do this and I accept it as a friends gift with no string attached. I will give you nothing in return.” I do this because they have to agree or they will lose face. Strange thing is that since doing this, it is amazing how many “friends” have walked away from me. But you know what, my life is a lot less stressful and I am much happier.

We need to realize that the Bible says to "test the spirits" and warns very strongly that the Last Days will be a time of "seducing spirits" and great deception. Andrew Strom

Remember this verse when encountering either of these two filth” People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. 2 Timothy 3:2-5

The third type of friend is the most precious type of friend.

They are people who you enjoy being with, someone you can share your problems with and they you. Someone who, when they see you need help either asks how they can help or if they know what type of help you need just goes out and does it.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The first two are mimic of the devil, while the last is an imitator of Christ. As you choose your friends, so too do you choose to follow. Who do you want for a friend: Jesus who brings love, peace and joy, or satan that brings pain, anger and sorrow?

A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be.Douglas Pagels

Prayer: Thank you Jesus Pryyand (Jesus my friend) for being my best friend.I ask my beloved that you protect me from the hyena’s masquerading as sheep and that you bless me with true sheep to enjoy companionship with.I humbly request this in Your loving name.Amen.

May the sunshine of Jesus’ sweet love bless you today and every day.


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    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Good morning Michele.

      I am always glad to help brothers and sisters. You will find those web sites very useful in so many aspects of your life. I certainly did.

      Good morning teaches.

      I am very happy you have been blessed with cherished friends.

      Being a nice guy and dulliable I unfortunatly have encountered mainly the first two. The ones I had in the third catagory I still give thanks for the cherished time we spent together.

      Hi penlady.

      Wow, that is great. Usually our greatest adversaries are our siblings. Yours is truly a wonderful blessing.

      God bless you all.

    • penlady profile image


      6 years ago from Sacramento, CA

      The first two types of friends really aren't friends at all. They're users. They are indeed the type of people to avoid. The third type of friend is someone you want in your life forever. They're loyal to you all times.

      Given how we live in such a "me, myself, and I" type of world these days, it's a true blessing to have a friend such as number three. I'm blessed to have mine: my sister.

      Voted up and beautiful.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      6 years ago

      I have had a few of the first two types, but I have many of the third. This is the friendship that lasts forever and is so valuable. Wonderful message on friendship.

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 

      6 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      Thank you teacherjoe52 I think God sent you to help me. I will check that out.

      God bless you.

    • teacherjoe52 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Hi Michele.

      Be careful she is not just pretending to be interested in God as a means to abuse you (yes what she is doing is abuse). If you want help there are many recources and

      Hi Always exploring.

      Glad you prayed the prayer and our most precious friend is Jesus.

      God bless you.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Wonderful, A true friend is so precious. I prayed your prayer..Thank you..

    • Michele Travis profile image

      Michele Travis 

      6 years ago from U.S.A. Ohio

      What a beautiful hub. I have had these types of "friends" but most are gone now. Since I have found God, There is only one left who is always asking of pleading for help, well mostly for me to drive her somewhere. she has also had to leave some of her other friends behind, since she has just found God, and we are trying to help her, but she seems to have latched on to me. Not sure what to do about it, because she is not calling or asking anyone else for help.

      The only problem is, she is calling me 6-8 times per day. My husband counted them. We go to prayer studies, but with the epilepsy medicine, I get very tired and have explained that to her. But then she tells me it will only take a few minutes. I am going to try to get her closer to God and more women and pray more.

      Thank you for writing this hub.


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