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Tit for Tat or Something Like That

Updated on March 22, 2017
Tit for Tat does there have to be a winner?
Tit for Tat does there have to be a winner? | Source

Tit for Tat, it goes on and on...

Why is life reduced to a silly game of tit for tat, how pathetic that we as individuals have built up walls to a false reality? Sadly, we are surrendering to separatism while filling our heads with an impressionistic understanding of our surroundings.

As we attempt to fake our way through the distortion of differences, it makes little sense and we deny the truth of another's situation. Be that as it may, are we not conditioned to want a better outcome. After all, deep down doesn't everyone want a “Wonderful Life”?

Indeed, even in the darkest of points, one would seek some sense of positive resolution, however, in a world full of boasting expression, false substance, realism, and ego, all of which we embody too readily, we tend to gravitate to the negative.

Desperately we turn from the ethics and the estimations of truth as we develop a rational for everything and anything. Admitting our flaws would serve the situation better, and then, we may recognize self- preservation creeps to the surface as we discard purposeful unity.

However, the noise or narcissistic reactions cause us to go adrift instead of rafting together. To understand all that is in our environment takes great effort and attention. When rushed, there are often unclear perceptions. People get sloppy in their approach and fumble without the admission of needing clarification.

We must realize perspective skews when all sides of circumstance are not in clear view. A more selfless approach for the advancement of all is what is required, but the truth is, we fail.

Unbalance ensues with reactionary behavior thus emphasizing points of conflict causing separation. With this, we loose all sense of unity and the tit for tat become a game of hierarchal positioning.

Do we concentrate on the "me" approach, or, are we slowing things down enough, watching the playback at a slower speed to take it all in? This option would improve our performance and allow purposeful solidarity! How unfortunate that we don’t take the time to practice our skills reviewing the plays together.

The tit for tat banter emanates with flawed assaults. Everything comes into question and the lines blur! The chat gets louder and overwhelms with an opinion.

Are the people your gossiping about “good people,” or "are they not your problem"? Is he an anchor or is she a ball and chain? Do we love a friend only until we give up on them? He said she said, you said, we said, do any of us know the truth?

Life is not a Dr. Seuss book and we need to get real! People are conditioned to want successful outcomes. When threatened response is frequently reactive and what we witness is uncontrolled defensiveness.

Hurried once again we forget to slow it down, practice the skills or review the plays while staying open to conviction, not wanting to control it.

True conviction comes from spirit driven communication, and not from the flip of a coin. Ignorance or omission of a situation does not create a solution rather we must own our part of a conflict with healthy confrontation, discontinuing the tit for tat!

Are you ever up against this?

One in a great while we are all a bit wrong
One in a great while we are all a bit wrong | Source

How sad that we don't see the big picture

One breath wasted in a battle over the triviality of anger or bitterness is shameful, and still, we do it. What do we gain on either side of a position when we choose to attack, as opposed to coming to a resolute understanding? Is there a nagging twinge in the heart or at least in one’s gut, when feeling misunderstood? Regardless of emotional points of connection, be they real or imagined, it's imperative to see we may need to agree to disagree? In so doing, we accept the position that life is a series, of consequential action, an effect to cause. One person’s junk is another’s treasure, someone’s right, is another’s wrong and so it goes in the world of, tit for tat.

But, one cannot deny the neutrality of any point, we are individuals allowed free will and choice. During those times when we’re solid and correct. To what do we attribute that correctness? What is our point based on, emotional reaction, anger, ego, political view, prejudicial thought, or the false power of correctness at all cost? As opposed to - self-control, joy, peace, goodness, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness, patience, or, at least, love? Is love not, the purest form of said correctness?
How often, does choice override one’s inner voice? Responses failing in the loss of control, the rash judgment call, as opposed to humble understanding. Aren’t we all victims when it comes to the human conditioning? You may ask, what is that? This condition that overpowers our sane thought, well, let’s break it down; these unique features to the human condition. First, we all desire a better understanding of the meaning of life. Who doesn’t want to be "in the know"? After all, being committed to our own point of view, allows for a smoke screen like protection, or does it? Possibly, the facade of life is one we, clothe ourselves in? Somehow believing our steadfast commitment to our point creates a non-permeable filter that is needed to navigate a noncommittal assimilation of someone else’s reality. Do we live amongst the cloud of misconstrued images? Are we, so busy protecting self, that we lack connection? Which image are we trying to protect? The image we let others see or the one we can live with?

Oh no you didn't

Oh Yeah, well let me tell you something...
Oh Yeah, well let me tell you something... | Source

Always seeking never stopping long enough to listen

The second feature of the human condition is that we seek gratification in many things, even though we attempt to deny the attraction to material possession. No matter our circumstance or placement in life, we are aware of what is around us. We are pursuant of things we don’t have, coveting that beyond need, often adopting a rational where we make " wants” more of a necessity. Somehow we are convinced that to better one's self, is somehow based on externals. Self-worth becomes hidden in the entrapment of its coverings, such as material or unhealthy desires based on self-preservation. Yet, once achieved or attained, we note that true balance comes from internal gains, from truth, knowledge, grace and guidance from a power far greater than worldly explanation.

We have an insatiable hunger a driven curiosity for life answers and lessons; the means in which we direct these desires is where our problematic situation evolves. We rely on "Human Condition" with it existentially free agent mentality. We realize consequences, and yet we are in a continual chasm of deceit and enticement, if not focused on true spiritual growth and relationship.

The issue remains we often choose not to rely on the provision of A God decision and rather succumb to self-preservation. Now if this preservation was based on grace and surrender to God's design, we would be safe in Christ. The truth is, we stray from our center with the allowance of choice.

We must accept this commonality in one another, this flaw if you will, but do we understand that an external forceful pull applies to all of us, and, so, for every action, there is a reaction, for every position, there is an opposition. We can choose to remain in the chaos, the chaos of perfectionism, which in itself is a fallacy, for none that is human is perfect. Rather, we should seek to be centered in, relationship, and we know beyond doubt relationships are only made perfect in Christ.

I said, she said, they said, we said...

Source

Relationships are a practice for our true relationship in Christ

Relationships are so important to us and yet we have given up on perfecting them with a Christ-centered approach. We would not walk away from Christ when things are difficult or do we?

How often will we let our anger or confusion misguide us to a belief that we don’t need to stay in the commitment, perfecting one another, for the best we can be as part of the whole body? No matter how difficult it may be for us to process, it remains that God never fails us or gives up on us. He is constant and stays the course through all our distractions, and negative choices and He never let's go.

On the other hand, we with our human condition are so quick to give in or give up on one another. We tend to hurt the ones we love, instead of loving the ones we’re with, nonetheless, the ones we’re with, God has placed in our lives for a purpose, even in the storms, and deep in our guts, they are the ones we love the most even when in contention. We should work harder at loving like He loves.

God's love for us is the way we want to love and be loved. His love is deep in the heart and gut, this truth is simple and still, we deny others this approach to relationship. For when something is rooted and constant we do not only tolerate it, because it has been set as a forever, in our mind and soul. To deny it’s there is to deny self or pieces of your own heart, and yet still we do that, with our tit for tat, bickering, gossiping and/or judging.

Once in a relationship, we begin to see the realness of those we are in a relationship with, and this makes us look in a mirror sometimes more than we can handle. Seeing the flaws we need to work on, we tend to run away from the hurdle not taking the leap toward what is awaiting us on the other side. Are we afraid of how close we can become when we remove the smoke screen and learn to move closer together in our imperfections, growing from our roots to a fervent mature love with a Christ? Accounting to the desire for a centered heart and relationship with Him and one another.

We all want the same things, to be loved and accepted for who we are. The one who does this unconditionally is our best example, His love is forever, but He also gives us relationships with friends and family, that allow us to practice what a Godly relationship is and He insists we never give up and continue to work hard at becoming more like His example, always seeking to share this love with others.

We get caught up in the worldly situations, in the adverse attention of negative, or dare I say evil thought, none of which is healthy. We get distracted and fear the loving accountability and nurturing that is given to us. We forget to remain focused on His guidance and perfecting love, we get stuck in the tit for tat mentality!

We can be better spouses, friends, children, and mentors; none of us is better than another, or more important to the purpose of the day at hand. Young, middle-aged, or old, you are of value; you have a great purpose when it’s for the glory of God. You may not even be sure of what it is, but I assure you, if you keep seeking His call, He will reveal your destiny. Nothing from this world compares to His plan for you, don’t let anyone or thing tell you otherwise. Don't allow anything to discount or deny your importance to His purpose.

Your casing of flesh is irrelevant, worry not about it when it attacks; focus on the heart within, where He is alive in you. Know that with the pull, of ego or eccentricity, that these feelings are not coming from a loving God. We need to stop listening to the noise of the world, being a part of the tit for tat, and humble ourselves. When an act against you is incorrect, give it less energy and more humble observance to trusting God.

He handles all things and situations, and God wins, so, I’m guessing, that He is the side you want to be on. I suppose we could tit for tat this point to death, but choose to love instead.


I accept my imperfections, attempting to become more real each day in my relationships, by admitting I remain a work in progress, the love of God is first and I am second. No matter what others say or do, you are loved, you are a beautiful and wonderful creation, you were made as He designed and don’t let anyone stop you with their Tit for Tat or something like that.

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    • The Stages Of ME profile image
      Author

      The Stages Of ME 3 years ago

      DDE thank you I appreciate your thoughts

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      You have dealt with this hub in the most respectable manner.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image
      Author

      The Stages Of ME 3 years ago

      Ericdierker,

      SO very true, and our God is so good to give us gentle reminders of His purpose for our lives and shows us ways to serve for Him. We are so blessed in this world and most blessed to know Him as our Savior, and he is to be shared with all we come to meet and know. Blessings

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 3 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Some times we just feel like "of course people get this" and then we see that many just do not. Right in our own homes people are so busy reaching for that brass ring, they forget that it is already in their pocket. God has given us not what we only need but abundance. Excellent piece here.

    • The Stages Of ME profile image
      Author

      The Stages Of ME 3 years ago

      Paul,

      Thanks, had to use it, such a catchy phrase and it fit, LOL, and AMEN, we all need to slow down just long enough, to love one another :)

    • The Stages Of ME profile image
      Author

      The Stages Of ME 3 years ago

      Good Morning MsDora,

      Thanks for stopping in, and for your sweet comment. I wasn't addressing anyone in particular just an issue I see in need of some attention. As a Sunday school teacher for teens and a mama myself, I'm just saddened at the world and some of the ideas our kids are subjected to. I always want people to know, the better option is God our Father's loving example. I see this particular hub has been flagged for some sort of inappropriateness, so no ads allowed, I am not clear why, I assure it was not meant to offend but rather to share God's Love. For me it is not about the ads and all about Him :)

    • Paul K Francis profile image

      Paul K Francis 3 years ago from east coast,USA

      I like it, tit for tat, ain't nobody got time for that. We need to stop and listen or at least slow down and let go. Have a nice day.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Good message. We have the tendency to assert our superiority at all costs, until we mature in wisdom and understand that compared to God, we are all on level ground. Thank you for dealing with this issue.