Trust in Uncertain Times
Just under a month ago I made a decision to tender my resignation at a company I did not enjoy being a part of. The business practices combined with the overall reprehensible lack of professionalism left me feeling, after just two months, that I was compromising my self. I had to make a decision and the decision was to provide my two week notice. This in itself sounds rather simple. The caveat was that I had no other job lined up. All I knew was that I could not stay where I was without losing my self-respect.
After my resignation was tendered I was told it was accepted and that day was my last. I knew I was not going to have money coming in, bills would continue to come in and I had to do something.
The first thing I did was slow myself down and move to a place of trust. The feeling of peace that I had at being told I no longer had to return to the job was amazing. That alone told me I had done the right thing. Now I had to trust that the next steps would happen. I had to trust everything would work out for the best.
Trust of this nature is not the simplest of things to embrace. There are times when uncertainty is going to creep in and attempt to shake the ground we stand on. I will not sit here and say it is easy because it is not. Life still goes on. The responsibilities of life are still present and we have to find a way to make them work. Let's face it the bank is not going to care that we don't have the money for the mortgage but we're happier for it. The bank is still going to say "Pay me my money."
Making this situation work meant I had to let go of some things that mattered to me. I am blessed that over the years I have amassed a rather large comic book collection. Over the past month I have been selling them off in order to keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth. At first I was tentative about parting with them. I again had to surrender to trust and move forward. As each book was listed for sale I became more grateful and trusting in my decision to leave that job. This was the right decision. Did the decision mean I could eat out every night or acquire things at a whim? No. The decision has brought me back to a place of simplicity. I am living simply once again. I am able to spend my days doing things I love such as writing, stitching, going through the comic books and passing them on to someone else who will get to enjoy them.
Do I have my moments of uncertainty? Of course I do. I still need to find a job. I spend some time each day doing so. This time I'm looking with a purpose. It's not just about finding any job. It's about finding a job that I will be happy in. I deserve to be. I trust the right one is out there and we will come together at the right moment in time. I trust I will be able to provide for myself. Most of all I am grateful to experience the simplicity of life again. I had forgotten it's not about the things we have but the things we do. It is about having purpose especially when that purpose is our purpose and not the purpose of someone else.