How I Turned 29
Then and Now
The Big 2.9
To a lot of young people in single digits and early 20's, 29 is old. To the majority of people older than 29, 29 is young. 29 happens to be the magical number that many remain at for quite some time. 29. The end of the 20's. The beginning of the 30's. The time where I have experienced enough to know somewhat better, but push on knowing there is still more to learn. I still have the energy to take care of children, my body is in the best shape holistically that it has ever been and my mind has not yet begun to embarrass me to badly. I am beginning to learn that I have absolutely no idea what is going on and I'm becoming more and more OK with that. That is the major difference between now and ten years ago.
At 18 years old, I still had an imperious and relentless idea that I was unbreakable, knew everything and had the scientific proof of that. What was really happening was my brain was still forming, i.e my hormones and entirety of being was still forming and it was much like being on lot's of drugs at all times with miniature explosions going off in my brain almost momentarily.
Throughout my 20's I have felt the balanced gains and losses of growing up. Letting go of my self worth being determined by other people's opinions. Letting go of my self esteem being determined by the number on the scale. Letting go of people who did not want to pursue or progress towards a life that I wanted. Gaining a new perspective on life. Gaining new friends and new family. Gaining values that would predetermine the life that I would have.
Now I can remember reading something years ago based on the Twentys and the author was in her early twenties and I discredited the entire entry because of that. However, we all know that righteous feeling and perhaps we really did know it all then. Maybe what we do our whole life is becoming unknowing.
Things I learned in my 20's
1.) Eating Less and Exercising more is the only healthy way to lose weight. I tried ephedra in my teen years and then people started to die. Weight obsession has been removed and I do pray to keep a regular healthy balanced diet and not become a maniac. However, the stone cold truth is that no matter how I am feeling....the only logical way to stay sane and in shape is to watch what I eat and how much I exercise. Diet pills (any pills) may have seriously adverse effects on your metabolism, etc...make sure you know what food, drinks, and ingredients are entering your body and their effect.
2.) Being a Mom is awesome. And I have stretch marks all over and have been pooped and puked on and I am more than OK with it because I made life. That's right. Like a planet baby earth, I created a life that will be around forever. Or at least another hundred years, when hopefully his seed will be recreated and continue on. It is the hardest work ever. By hardest work I mean nonstop dependence on me from the minute I wake until-wait, I never sleep, so always. For the past four years I have been a mom and it is utterly exhausting, but so rewarding. I have found out exactly why my body was made and why it was made the way it was. I have finally realized the life giving power of my vagina and breasts.
3.) Men just want sex. The rest is invariable and doesn't really matter to me. I had to change my perspective about this. I don't know why men are so sexual and women are so thoughtful but it is what it is. Divine differences and the perfect blend of what is required for a functional performing family. Don't get me wrong, women want sex too but it is not my ulterior or secondary motive. It is actually no motive at all. Women just want presents and babies, or a blend. Almost an immediate discussion between me and the man I am with now is that he would require sex and I would require gifts. Beyond that, we are very spiritual and logical human beings with a lot of personality in common.
4.) I might have lived at home longer. There have been scares of electric shut offs for this girl. There have been red zoned checking accounts and the race with this Jones family has been exhausting since a very young age. However, the freedom allotted has also been quite enjoyable. As a survivor of a domestic violence relationship, I understand that dependence on a man (financially) is a number one reason to stay with a partner, so I thank God my mother raised me to be so independent and for the factors that allowed me to be this enjoyably independent.
5.) The world is big and I am small. There are so many places in this world! I have not even begun to travel, but hope to hit India, Italy, Egypt, Mexico, Thailand, Costa Rica and so many other places before I leave this world! So far, Puerto Rico and the east coast of America is amazing. God has made a wonderful world. And although I am also wonderful, I am not as big of a deal as I previously thought. This is a lovely asset when I think of that in a positive way. I'm not that important. No one should be thinking of me (especially negatively!). It's also very humbling and keeps me right sized when dealing with my life and objectives, as well as, getting along with others.
6.) I have a lot left to learn.
Every Day Counts!
From Cradle to Cradle....From Sun Up to Set....
All religions, philosophies and science aside....if you are reading this there is a good chance that you woke up this morning and that you will arrive safely in your bed this evening. Congratulations. That is awesome. There are many that are not as fortunate as we....
So, with that opportunity of projected hindsight, it is important to say the things we mean to say, go to the places that we desire to go, treat others as we would like to be treated, etc...etc...
You just never know when that little battery of yours is going to run out. Today I have made it to 29!
Was It Worth It?
I Made It!
Although I asked my boyfriend and mother and friends to create a surprise birthday party for me (I'm an event planner) they did not (apparently they are not event planners). So I got a few of my closest friends together and we all went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. It was very low key and a local musician was playing great music. Great food and great company. I asked everyone to bring a flower that reminded them of me and got sunflowers and giant glittery purple flowers and a variety of pastel flowers and dozens of roses and other assortments.
I have overcome and gone through a lot in 29 years, as we all do with each day that passes. I have learned a lot if about perspective. The only truth is right here and right now. The birthday was great. My life is great and right now is great. So, yes, it is worth every minute and I hope to continue life as wonderfully positive as possible.