What Happened on That "One" Non-Eventful" Day When I Had a Flat. . .
As Smart, Popular, and Cool
that you and I think that we are, I know for certain, that there are those unpredictable, mental stressing events that if we will just stop (in the middle of this event) and think about it, we could all learn something about ourselves.
Take a flat tire for instance. Time was, this event was grounds for a new employee losing his job for being late on the third day of his career for having (this) flat tire--and no matter how hard the young guy cried and begged, the boss was so stern that he hardly had a conscience. This, of course, was in the mid-1940s and early 1950s when our country was less tolerant and understanding. Charlie, chalk-up another new employee going on unemployment (when it is created).
A Spiritual Moment:
I am not a pastor, minister, or missionary. Yet. But I will tell you (without boasting) that I have read and do love to read The Bible for to me, it is my life and how to live a happy and successful life without getting into a lot of red tape.
My point about this text capsule is this: If you will pay close attention you will soon find out that this hub was placed (by me) in a category called: "Spiritual Things and The Bible," and why not "Gender and Relationships?"
I wasn't comfortable with the latter and I thought it wiser to put this hub in The Bible where we all have read the Book of Job that tells in fine detail about how a good man allowed God to do so much evil via the Devil and Job never complained or cursed God.
I am not job. Or God. I just wanted to share the scripture that is to all of us about the words Jesus said, "the rain will fall on the just and unjust alike." This is the best explanation that I could find about changing a flat tire and how an uneventful day ran awry.
In Years to Come
we have all grown so far and wide in our sense of humanity that we hardly need such nuisances as flat tires to create a new sense of humbleness and a sharper mental stance in thinking more of others. But there are "those" people, and I could myself as one of "those" who for some reason, and somehow will never seek the lesson that a flat tire is trying to teach me. No. I am instantly aware (without any coaxing) of the suttle things that are now beginning to surround me as I fumble to get this flat fixed and be on my way.
Now it's time to share my very interesting (and mysterious) piece with you and everyone who is going to read this story which would sell instantly by Stan Lee, publisher emeritus, MARVEL Comics. My title is simply this:
What Happened on That "One" Non-Eventful Day When I Had a Flat. . .
This unplanned, unwanted event suddenly becomes like a hologram similar to Godzilla charging at people to have for lunch. I can tell this annoyance might be true, for I once changed a flat and lost seven pounds--by sweating. Not being eaten by some Japanese sea monster.
The traffic cop who is only trying to serve and protect me is instantly transformed from an humble servant in blue to Gordon Ramsay and I am now a new cook in one of his Hell's Kitchen shows. And we all know how Ramsay treats those newbie cooks who fail frequently. He simply opens his mouth and barks, "G--e--e--e--t--t--t O--u--u--t!"
I am working feverishly to get a flat changed and I have my driver's door open. Why? I don't know. But I suddenly, without planning, see a receipt in front of my front seat and find that my wife has taken out a certain amount of money out of our bank and has "forgotten" about her telling me this cute coincidence. You see, if I had been with money in our bank, I would not have to beg friends for a loan in order to get my car towed to a gas station, but no, my wife, without any thought whatsoever, took all but five bucks in our checking account. This was not a mild irritation, but a full-blown rage boiling inside of me.
The stress I am now feeling due to the flat tire now losing valuable time (back when I did work) is now causing me to want to smoke cigarettes again--now that I haven't touched a cigarette in three months.
A huge rattlesnake who was once enjoying a cool nap snuggled inside a clump of grass near the highway where I am working to fix this flat is now angry with me for disturbing him . . .or was it her? I think that rattlesnakes are far more angrier than male rattlers for females' snake tempers are much more fiery.
Notice the item where I talk about the stress of fixing a flat and me wanting to take a break and have a cigarette, but now, that stress is about to cause me to faint, so now I am dreaming about drinking cold beer to go with those cigarettes. Yeah. Two guaranteed stress relievers.
Out of nowhere a trucker, obviously hacked off at the sight of my car sitting on the side of the highway on a jack that I had to read the owner's manual three times, pray intensely, and then the jack almost caused the tool to fall taking off my right hand, but now the upset trucker swerves to miss my car causing him to almost jackknife. Boy, was I thanking God that the angry truck driver was not hurt, but man, could I hear those ultra-vulgar curse words. I have this suspicion that he was once a Navy SEAL.
I was now reaching such a level of frustration that I give you my word that I heard a car stop behind my still-jacked up car and flat not repaired, and the driver was a shapely redhead prostitute and she actually begged me to give me a free ride to my job from seeing so many upset people cursing at me and flipping the bird at me. Oh, did I say that she was a prostitute? Yeah. She was not going to "charge" me for any her services including the free trip. Note: but I declined all of her services.
The above item was a dream that I was having while I took a ten-minute break to let my nice shirt dry out from being soaked with sweat thanks to me not really knowing how to remove that really small United States government-issued small tire in the trunk sending me waves of sweat from being so upset and nervous.
Aha! I find out how to get the small tire out of the trunk and as I am trying ever-so-gently to get this small tire to get on the hub where the flat tire is now laying on the side of the highway, a raging coyote charges at me for no reason and bites my butt several times. I cry a lot, but soon the angry coyote feels some compassion for me and runs away.
As I watch the compassionate coyote fade into the evening sunshine, I stand out and shout, "Why in this beautiful creation didn't you take me with you?"
Good night, Biloxi, Mississippi.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery