What Moves Me in This Life
"Without love of God and of others, life loses its meaning," as in Eclesiastes 3:1-15, Let's KJOH and everything will be alright.
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In Jesus Crucified - My Messiah, My All in All, I Get my Strength and Inspiration
Loss of God in My Life
"Hurry up, you're so _ ..., haven't I told you ... , you keep on doing this and I'm ... , you should know better than ... , I don't want ..., you should not have done that you ..., why you ..., wait until I ..., " and so on and so forth.
Blames, curses, name calling can be nerve racking, stressful and worst if they become unending and, hopefully not, violent. But is this of love?
Hiding from under the bed and stuffing your ears with the most effective ear plugs will not even help, would it?
I know that forgiveness is love, and many times, do we not want and wish to be forgiven from our mistakes, yet, forget to even forgive others?
And lo and behold, all of a sudden, we forget to even forgive ourselves as we get confused in our anger that we lose track of our senses. We fail to distinguish right from wrong.
Is not our ego getting the better of us?
And as in Matthew 15:11, Jesus has said it is not what comes into our mouth that makes one unclean, rather, what comes out of it, or foul things we utter, which offends God as it offends others.
And for a nagging wife, Proverbs 25:24 states, "Better to dwell in the corner of a housetop, than with a contentious woman in a wide house," or for an obnoxious husband, either way, I hope the complainer may find more wisdom to the following words of Jesus ...
in Matthew 6:27, "And who of you by being anxious can add one cubit upon the measure of his life?" Will over anxiety solve any of our problems in this life? Would facing reality, accepting it, learning from it and moving forward to better find ways to handle it be more appropriate?
Isn't that lovely?
And I learned from my mistakes, and thank goodness before everything blew up to uncontrollable proportions.
I realized how living in God's words and surrendering all of that foolish pride in me had helped me grow spiritually.
In the past, I made countless blunders as I upheld anything material above my love for my family, my love for my God and my love for others causing me so much pain in myself, many times finding it hard to even forgive myself.
I could not believe I was doing this even to my love ones.
I reacted to almost anything in defense of my actions, regardless of what I did was right or wrong.
Pornography and sins of lust and lies have overpowered my mind, my heart and spirit, that I was not doing what was right anymore, and I was losing my grip of myself, and I did not realize I was losing God in my life.
I was already experiencing hell as I was getting myself into trouble as I allowed the evil one commandeer my lost spirit.
He was attacking my mind telling me that I was doing alright, not to be mindful of others and to ignore advises that did not jibe with my senses as I believed more on myself, my knowledge and my skills. Nobody but nobody can be on top of me and nobody will know anyway what is in my mind, everything will be fine. I thought "I was in control."
It was only later that I realized the evil one was controlling my mind, my intellect, that I lost my real sense of control on myself. I was being gradually hooked up and chained to his bidding.
I began hiding myself from the truth and from God, thinking that I could get away from it all.
It took time for me to realize that I can never get away from God for God is all knowing, omniscient as he is everywhere, and omnipotent and almighty.
And little did I know all of these was tearing me apart, and my relationship with wife, my children, and some of my colleagues and boss at work were not getting any better.
Call me names if you want, and perhaps, that was me. Incorrigible, hardheaded, arrogant and proud, as if I was all knowing when I was not, when I have good control of myself when I did not, that was me, deceiving myself, because I believed in him, the number one deceiver in this life, Satan, the evil one, who left me alone when I was down and lonely, and even blamed me for doing his bidding.
Oh how foolish I was believing only in myself, and loving just myself. But was this really love? Or was it self pity?
[Read on post: Love and Saint Paul, Love of God and Self Pity]
He dropped me like a heavy hammer to the ground slammed on my face, wounded, crying with heaviness and pain felt all over my body and spirit.
[Read on related post: "What is Harder to Heal: A Broken Heart or a Broken Soul?"]
When I was down, he deceived me telling me I was better that the rest of everybody when I was not. As if I can never go wrong but I did go wrong, many times, but hid it and refused to accept the truth, in the guise of malice and deception.
I have to admit, behind my mask of confidence and pride in myself was a lost and crumbled heart and spirit. My soul was slowly being devoured by what was evil in me.
Many times it comes to me so strong in my spirit, is this not the same evil that have driven others to insanity, unexplained syndromes of various diseases even of the mind, while others have been driven to killing and violence, to rape and abortion, to gay marriages, to pedophilia, tattoos or body piercings and voodoo worship which have been linked to witchcraft and rebellion to God, to drug addiction, to belief in fortune tellers, Ouija board, and in transcendental meditation, excessive vanity, and many other practices that may siphon us away from our faith and belief in God as we may become more and more insecure of ourselves forgetting that in Christ and with Christ, we may become more safe and at peace with ourselves and with all others who do good, with no one and nothing to fear, rather, to be stronger and confident against whatever evil may come and get through us or around us and our love ones, as we continue to do what is right and just, and be a light for others.
If we have believed and have practiced any of those aforementioned, perhaps, it is time to refocus one's direction to what is noble and true, and to live peacefully in God's grace.
I myself, became too judgmental on good institutions and religious congregations for wrong doings. I have to admit, I was guilty of generalization.
I so too thought that the practice of one or two, is the practice of all the rest.
Taking the wrong path may not make us forever banished from God's goodness and forgiveness, nevertheless, may we not forget, as always, we are made accountable.
I know we have a forgiving and gracious God, and knows best what is in our hearts, and every time, he reminds us to return as we may heed and be guided back in his flock.
He wants us to be perfect, our soul to be as pure as white, regardless of what color or race we may belong, to stay clean without malice, pride or vain conceit, but with love and forgiveness flowing in our veins, from our hearts that has been healed, echoing from within our spirit.
Perhaps, only our incorrigible self, refusing to see the light, and refusing to renew that may see ourselves in bad light, causing pain not only to ourselves, but to others as well.
If Saint Paul, Saint Sebastian, Saint Augustine, Saint Magdalene, other godly men and women, and even Saint Peter took some time before they fully surrendered their evil and doubting ways, and found greater fulfillment in themselves, I do not see why we cannot?
Marriage Encounters and Renewal Movements
Me and my wife were able to attend three marriage encounters and renewal movements as I was in search for the truth in my life.
I knew I was going nowhere as I began listening to my conscience and I know that it was the Holy Spirit that was guiding me as I prayed hard for guidance and enlightenment.
I got lost doing that and listening to the evil one and where did it bring me, to a lost and confused state.
I was like Antonio Margarito being out boxed by boxing's Pound for Pound King Manny Pacquiao, who was lost and confused in their bout with only his pride keeping him from surrendering despite a badly injured and closing right eye, rendering him in much pain weakened with only his left eye remaining in his survival arsenal.
My Catholic Christian background with faithful and religious parents and a family that was God fearing that kept me on my feet on the ground and directed me to a better path.
It was in "Bukas Loob sa Diyos" ('Openness to God's love in the Holy Spirit' with shared video and link above) or BLD, a Filipino Catholic Christian Charismatic Renewal Movement, that I found the true light of Christ in my life, where I saw and realized the essence of surrendering my 'self' to our Lord Jesus Christ in the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and where I found my own spiritual growth as I grew and continue to grow with the community in the many related teachings and in the various prayer meetings and activities that continue to help nurture this growth.
There are many other Christian Renewal Movements that may support similar programs, but until one sees the greater importance of dying to one's 'self in Christ Jesus and fully rejecting Satan and evil, that one, submitting to Mammon as his master, he may not see the light of Christ and may still subject himself and, unfortunately, even his lineage or descendants, in the wrath of God to generational curses and sins that may be passed on from generation to generation, that only true faith in Jesus, heart felt prayers and good works may break.
My Heart Cries in Pain in Christ Crucified
The great passion and death of Christ Jesus on the cross has struck me so much that my heart and my spirit cries out in pain whenever I imagine how much suffering our God, and Creator himself, as he became man in Jesus (you may click on this link for better understanding of related verses in the Holy Bible which point to this truth in God's words}, has suffered in his great love for us all.
This is what moves me to God in this life, seeing and understanding the truth in his being, in his love for man through his life, passion, crucifixion, death and resurrection that has given man the power to reject and defeat Satan and all evil in this life.
God has made a master plan for us all that he may save all those who may believe in him as we may learn to humble ourselves in obedience to his will and to his words and reject Satan in all his evil ways.
I have seen myself almost die in two instances and our Creator has allowed me to live to become a witness of his love, mercy and power that I have learned to accept myself as dead and now living in his light, as I now live doing my own ministry in the love of Christ and in the love of others, that they too may see the light.
[Read on related post: Jesus Christ - Our True Healer, and Living in the Spirit]
It is in everyday and every moment of events happening around me and around the globe that I have seen God's hands moving in consonance with his will and plan, as what is being revealed to us in the Book of Revelation, continually praying for the renewal and the redemption of man.
And our God, being all powerful and omnipotent, with nothing impossible in him, only he knows the time and the hour of judgment as in Matthew 24:36, that not even Jesus as man and as Son of God before his resurrection and ascension, may know.
And now, that only he being one with God the Father and the Holy Spirit may know.
For all true believers and all those who have learned to surrender 'self' to God, pray in deep meditation that only the Holy Spirit may give you his gifts which may include the gifts of faith, of knowledge, of wisdom, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernment, of tongues, of interpretation of tongues.
While God allows us to dream and and quest for higher goals in life, he wants us to attune our goals for the love of God first, then for the love of others that leads to the perfect way of loving our selves.
It is just a matter of realigning our perspective towards that of humility and obedience to God, and be smarter than Satan, as we may refuse to allow ourselves to be bonded by material things, rather, by our love and concern for God as we may choose to always honor and worship him as due in prayer and thanksgiving in church, and of others. In this way, we remain triumphant and victorious always against evil.
If one is willing to fully trust our Lord and be saved for eternal life, then one must be willing to forego what is evil and uphold what is true, otherwise, you may just be fooling yourself as you may find yourself and yes, even your love ones, under the bondage of evil as you may submit yourself to short term happiness.
[Read on post: Love and Unity with God is of Christ, Divisiveness is of Evil]
Jesus is the Truth, My Light and My Salvation
I have come to realize how important and more meaningful my life becomes as I learn and see the joy in the love of God in Christ more than the happiness I may derive from whatever is material in this life.
For whenever I ask of material happiness, will these last? Naturally, I always find the negative, not the affirmative.
And when I ask myself will my happiness for the love of others and the love of God last, no wonder I always find the affirmative and never the negative.
For it is in love that endures and unconditional that I find fullness in life, a love that is noble, pure, simple and humble with no malice, bitterness, hatred, selfishness and pride, a love that forgives, share, saves and gives life as compared to a life that does not know how to give love, rather destroys as it counts faults and wrongs, that sows anger as it lives in the absence of trust and faith in the Lord, but of evil that brings about insecurity as it renders itself still in the bondage of money, wealth, power, lust, or is this not Mammon, the true meaning of idolatry?
In delighting myself with my Lord, I know, because I now fully see and understand, he will give me the desires of my heart, as in Psalm 37:4.
And it is in my love of Christ Jesus that I have seen the essence and purpose of my life as I experience greater joy in helping guide all others, beginning with my family, to the light of Christ, for without Christ, I am nothing, and without whom, my life is rendered worthless and meaningless.
What is the use of loving our family and others when we have not truly loved them, content of only satisfying our own selfish love until death?
Is this not what the evil one wants us to believe in, not on our salvation but on whatever temporal happiness that this life may bring, for there is no such thing as eternal life?
Wait a minute, was Lucifer, and then Satan, were they not the fallen angels who were too rebellious that God decided to banish them from heaven onto earth? They may continue in their deception for all the rest of man, as some of us may have been borne with that evil seed unknowingly and unwittingly passed on to us by our ancestors in their sins against God, through generational sins.
Reading on Isaiah 14:3-20, this passage gives us an account of who Lucifer is and his true motives in sowing disunity, hatred, selfishness and confusion in us.
If we see these in men and women, who may lure us from our love for God and of others, who may give more importance to human wisdom than God's or Divine Wisdom, or who instead drive us towards selfishness, belief in our own mind and power, vanity and pride ..., hold on, take a deep breath and pray through the Holy Spirit for guidance, be stronger in your faith, in prayer and in fortitude, that they may see the light of Christ in us, and with Christ's love in us for them, we may free them from the bondage of evil that may continue to haunt them and their descendants in this life and in the succeeding generations, and may lead them to the love, mercy and forgiveness of Christ Jesus, towards renewal, towards redemption, and onto life eternal.
Alas, for those purely born from the seed of evil, there may not be hope as evil will forever remain in them, as they are bound to be banished forever more, and "our struggle is not against human opponents, but against the rulers, authorities, cosmic powers in the darkness around us, and evil spiritual forces in the heavenly realm," as in Ephesians 6:12.
And we may know them by their fruits.
God wants us renewed in him, to repent as we remove and surrender everything evil and every guilt of sin remaining in us, for he wants us to be perfect as he is perfect, that no one may again be rebellious in his kingdom, as all evil is abound to be banished and destroyed, forever.
For "with God, all things are possible," as Jesus has said in Matthew 19:26.
And together we may be one into expressing our unity in Christ Jesus, our true God and Savior.
"I reject Satan and all his evil works. I continue to praise and give thanks to Jesus for he is the Truth, my Life, my Light and my Salvation."
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