What does Islam the quran and Allah say about family and children?
What does Islam say about family?
Part eight in the what you don't but should know about Islam series.
Simply put families are the building blocks of society. The parents of today raise the parents of tomorrow. So the values we instill in our children are the values they will carry on to their children. Being a positive role model for your child is essential. Parenthood is also about friendship. You children should feel comfortable coming to you with any problem they may have. Working with youth one of the things I hear most is, "My parents don't understand me." As children, and young adults, we often do not realize that our parents are just as new to this as we are. Parents like children make mistakes, and to have successful relationships I think it is important for children and parents alike to admit this. The child should always obey the parents, but parents should be open and honest. All to often parents let the world teach their child, when they should be teaching the world to the child. We find many children who are left to be raised by their peers, or what ever adult is around them at that time. Family doesn't have to be blood relations. If we know some one like this, imagine the rewards in reaching out to them and offering a positive influence in their life, even if it is only a few hours a week. This could mean the difference between a murder, or rapist and a successful productive person in society. You don't have to give birth to a child to raise that child. Also adults often underestimate the abilities of young people. When we teach children to make good choices at a young age, we teach them to make good choices in young adulthood. Letting a child think for them selves is an amazing thing, when they are instilled with the knowledge and word of God. Parents remember that one day your children will be taking care of you. Teach them the best you can. The Qur'an says:
"And the Lord commanded that you shall not serve (any) but Him, and goodness to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) "Ugh" nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." Qur'an 17:23-24
"And give to kindred their due." Isra: 26
"Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents, and kins-folk" Nisa:36
Teaching our children how to live right and love God, and their fellow people, will help ensure a successful society for all. The mother is probably the single most important parent. As children cling to the mother as children for many reasons, and as adults for support and advice. The Prophet(pbuh) said, "teach something to a woman, and it is as if you have taught the whole world." Without our mothers life is very difficult as the mothers role in early life is very important. She nurtures us, and weans us from sole dependence on other people. This job would be difficult for the man more so than the woman God tell us this in the Qur'an:
" With trouble did his mother bare him and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the weaning of him was thirty months..." Qur'an 46:15
Husbands do not forget this. A companion once asked the Prophet(pbuh), "Who deserves my good treatment most?" The Prophet answered, "The mother." " Who is after that?" he asked again. " Your mother." was again the answer. "And then who is next?" he asked yet again. "Your mother." Once again was the reply. "What is after that?" he asked again. "Your father." The Prophet(pbuh) then said.
The love of your mother is unconditional. Show her your love and respect. Mothers also remember your importance, because you have this much power over your children. Children you are to obey your mother and father at all times, unless they ask you to work against the teachings and laws of God. This is very important in Islam the Qur'an tells us:
"...and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did." Qur'an 29:8
Islam tells parents to show mercy and love to children. It places the responsibility of education on the parents. Islam tells us to raise our children with good, strong morals, and to be productive in society. The Prophet(pbuh) said a proper education is the best gift a father can give his children. Also the Prophet(pbuh) tells us the great rewards to fathers for raising there daughters, properly. That God will reward us greatly for raising our daughters correctly and treating them well, and loving them as us fathers love our sons. God also tell us to raise our children with moderation, and not to spoil them, teaching them they are better than others. The Qur'an says this:
"O you who believe! Let not your wealth, or your children, divert you from the remembrance of Allah; and who ever does that, they are the losers." Qur'an 63:9
The blessing of marriage, is the single most sacred contract between two people. Husbands treat your wife's well. This woman loves you, and she is sacred to you. Do not let your mind and eyes, stray to other women who are strangers to you. Does your wife not love you so much? Is she not the one who, strives every day to love you so? Is she not the woman who birthed, and raised your children? Love this woman, and treat her well. She has given much to satisfy you in many, many ways. Do the same for her, and more. This woman is a gift to you from God. Provide for her and love her always and treat her fairly. Provide for her, and let her keep her income for herself, that she may be happy and have the things she wants, this is a command from God. She is not your slave but your wife, give your heart to her. Let her know you are thankful for her sacrifices. Let her know you are grateful for her. God tell us in the Qur'an:
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." Qur'an 30:21
About marriage the Qur'an also says this:
"They are your garments, and you are their garment." Qur'an 2:187
WoW! What a powerful statement about a husband and wife. Think of what that means. What do garments offer us? Warmth, comfort, protection, modesty, just to name a few. Really. Stop reading right now and take five minutes to think about what that is really saying. Expand on the little insight I just gave. Okay, so what do you think of that statement now? The Prophet(pbuh) says, "marriage is half of your religion." WoW! What another powerful statement. I could write for years and never begin to cover a fraction of what these two statements mean. Love your wife men, is all I can say on that.
On this note, Islam allows men to have more than one wife, but this is limited by God. God allows us to do this in only certain situations, such as; an area where there are significantly more women than men, or a war torn country where most of the men eligible for marriage have been killed, or maimed to the point they can not be husbands or fathers. God tells us to take no more that 4 wives. Yet God warns us not to take more wives than we can justly handle and treat fairly and provide for comfortable. I don't know about you but one is more than enough for me, all jokes aside God tells us this:
"...marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Qur'an 4:3
There are many examples of this throughout the Qur'an. This subject can be talked about for hours and days on end. Please, treat all your family well, to include extended family. And remember how important your role is to your children, and your parents. God tell us to open our hearts and love one another. Remember how much the Prophet(pbuh) loved and trusted his wives. Let him be our role model, so we can be good role models for our children, that they may carry on this tradition and make their society and our world a better place for everyone. It has to start somewhere, so its up to us as Muslims to take the first step and guide the world to a better, peaceful place.
There maybe a part II to this in the future as it is such a huge topic, but for now I think I have given the essentials of this topic.
This "hub" is dedicated to my butterfly. The love she has for her family and the sacrifices she makes for them has been my inspiration for this topic. Thank you so much, my friend. I wish all the best in the world for you. I hope one day you too have a husband who will do these things for you, in shaa Allah. May Gods peace and mercy follow you always, my his blessings fall on you and your family now, and the family you have in the future.
Also I want to thank http://www.islamtomorrow.com for some of the information I have gathered. You will find many great sources on this website, in shaa Allah.