The Deadly Sin of Wrath: Anger Signs and How to Deal With Anger...
Signs of Anger: A Red Rag To A Bull
Are you an angry person? No! You just feel constantly frustrated by other people and their ridiculous approach to how they do things, that's all. Little things don't bother you! It's the little things that other people do: that bothers you.
Anger is a very strong emotion and can clearly be observed in the actions and expressions of a person who is angry.
Signs of Anger: Signs of anger can begin with any of the following:
- A flushed face or a deathly pale white face.
- Grinding of the teeth.
- Prominent veins.
- Increased breathing rate.
- Tense muscles (sounds just like someone I know).
- Even shaking.
All are common physical symptoms when our temper is flared. We often feel angry when people don't listen to what we are saying or they expect more than we want or can give. Being undermined in some way or form is very annoying.
Sometimes something just happens out of the blue causing us frustration, as simple as not being able to find a parking space and then some b*****d pinches the one we do see. We are all entitled to get angry and most of the time with good cause; when we queue for hours in the post office and then get told.
''This is queue 2. You need queue 3.''
The desire to scream and jump up and down is overwhelming and murder seems more like self defense against the evil gloating goblin behind the post office screen (obviously why he's behind a screen in the first place).
Dealing With Anger: The way we deal with our anger is the important factor.
Losing our rag over the smallest thing is not normal. Specialists would say: there are deep seated problems in our past; our childhood for instance or our first intimate relationship or some jargon or other to help our aggression seem more reasonable. For a few of us that's probably true. The rest of us however. What's our excuse?
What Instigates Anger?
Anger is caused by a measurable grievance that may or may not be the way we perceive it. That's why some of us lose the plot while others put the kettle on. Which makes the ones losing the plot even more angry. When things don't go our way, us more angry mortals don't control our frustration very well. One could say we have a low frustration threshold.
We let our tempers rise along with our blood pressure and just like the boiling kettle we need to let off steam. We can all rant, but lashing out is when our anger becomes a serious problem and efforts need to be made to control our tempers. Even God in the Old Testament toppled the Tower of Babel as did Jesus scatter the temple traders. Everyone gets angry sometimes, however it's the effect we have on others that's the problem and the degree at which we react even more so.
A Cognitive Behaviour
Anger is one letter short of danger. That's a good quote to carry around. It might help to curtail a growing rise in temperature when the going gets tough.
A Tale of Anger:
Lyssa the goddess, daimona or spirit of the underworld represented madness, rage, fury and frenzy. In the animal world: the madness of rabies. Legends tell of how she tortured the fallen angels that couldn't choose to fight or repent. Their lack of decisiveness saw them condemned to the underworld and the crazed madness of Lyssa. It is said at the hand of Hera (the goddess of marriage and wife of Zeus) Lyssa drove Heracles into a crazy rage of madness. His frenzied madness was so out of control that he slew his children. Some say he didn't stop there.
Anger in Our Lives:
It is reasonable to say anger is portrayed daily in our lives: on the TV; newspapers; comics; our favorite sports channels; and even kids cartoons. However if the colour red is a constant on the horizon then it might be time to count to ten. Angry people often blame other people and other things. In fact angry people hold everyone and everything at fault apart from themselves and their own actions and words. It is easy to get angry, but it is also easy to forget about it and move on. Maybe not at first, but with a little practice and a constant effort you will learn to control your temper and achieve amazing results. You do want results, don't you?
When dealing with people that are really just being a pain in the proverbial end, don't lay down on the floor doing a terrible toddler tantrum or fume so much that smoke comes out of your ears. Be constructive and deal with the situation as best you can. Oh! and that doesn't mean what you think is constructive ie practicing your judo. Be a grown up, a calm grown up. You know you can do it! so do it!
Expressing a little anger can be good for you!
A Necessary Evil
While the need to be in control of our tempers least we end up in a frenzied rage catapulting ourselves into oblivion, ending up behind bars or at least alienated from our loved ones. There is a positive side to anger. While an aggressive state of anger can distort our logical way of thinking, anger on a lower rage scale prevents us from being manipulated or dominated by others hence gives us strength and courage to fight our corner. Stand on our own two feet. In the adult world: have our own opinions, look for promotions and deal with bullies. Thus presenting ourselves as a well equipped, stable adult in every day life. A necessary evil? In some cases: yes!
Anger Management: Classes and Books
There are many options these days to learn how to control our temper. If we know counting to ten just ain't working and we dream of throttling the postman who keeps taking our oversize post back to the post office because we weren't in, AND WE WERE (alright I have a significant problem with the post office, I may need to take a class or two). If you've started to growl back at next doors dog it might be time for Anger Management. It worked for Naomi!
It is possible that your anger comes from an underlying mood problem, that may derive from a past experience and result in depression or anxiety. Therefore it is important to see your doctor first as he or she may want to treat you themselves or refer you to a psychiatrist that best suits your needs.
There are numerous classes on-line via live chat, phone, video and many angry management associations: National Anger Managemnet Association is one such association. Angry management psychiatrists also work on-line or in a class room fashion, classes in groups or one on one can be found by googling your local area for angry management classes. There are numerous self help books out there too (I'd recommend browsing through Amazon) available to help you understand and control your anger.
Dealing with anger is not going to be easy but realising that you need help is the first step to recovery and by recovery I mean healing yourself and finding a new way to express your anger. My seven year old likes to run around the garden screaming for a few minutes and then she comes back in and she's fine. She does this a couple of times a month. I think we need to learn from children. Don't bottle it up or you will explode! Go run around the garden and have a good old scream and then go talk to a professional and get your life back without the pain of being angry all the time. Good luck!
Are You An Angry Person?
Another Deadly Sin
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© 2010 Gabriel Wilson