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When Our Children Die Before Us

Updated on March 19, 2010

March 17, 2010 When our Children go before us,

It hurts so deep especially when it is a tragic death. My son Paul died because he turned away from God and sought his own way and made his own decisions. I wish I could have reached him. I wish God could have reached him, but he did not want to be reached. Maybe he was sad and depressed about the road he was taking and didn't know how to come back to God. God is in Control and took him home. I feel it was because God knew there was no hope other than going home to Him.

My son accepted Jesus into his heart when he was 10 yrs old. Growing up He was very active in church and Sunday School. and the Youth group when he was teenager. When he graduated from High School he joined the Army. He was sent to Afghanistan and Dessert Storm. He was there for 1 month, but he told me it was devastating to see the results of what he had to do while shooting into a town on a Army tank. He married his fiancee in Germany after he returned from Dessert Storm and lived in Germany for 16 yrs. They had two children and their life together seemed happy. Then in 2006 my son came home alone and was getting a divorce. His sister's, brother and I didn't see the same Paul that we knew and loved. He was so different, he was angry and bitter, he was drinking and smoking heavily. I am not sure if he was using drugs. We tried to help him, we tried to love him and nothing seemed to help. My son went back to Germany after living here for over 6 months. And that is where he died. My son committed suicide.

Today, a friend of mine lost his youngest daughter to an alcohol related incident, I don't know all the details yet. I pray he isn't blaming himself. My friend gave his life to Christ over 15 years ago. He is an alcoholic, and has been going to AAA for many years. He hadn't been a help to his children, before he was saved, but he became a wonderful Christian man afterward. I know he tried to be a testimony to his children and tried to reach them for Christ. I am praying that God's loving arms and comfort will encircle my friend. I know his pain. We have a comfort that we will see our children again someday, if they are saved and we are too. I Thessalonians 4: 13-18 I pray she was saved. God help my friend JD. When we lose our children through alcohol, drugs, and many other ways that can harm them or ourselves it is devastating, and heartbreaking. Let us take care of our needs before God and He will comfort, love, guide, direct us when tragedy strikes.

The Bible tells us in Romans 5:8 But, God commendeth is love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He also said in Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. He promises if we open our hearts and lives and confess our sins to him and ask Him to forgive us, that he will save us, and we will be with Him someday. Romans 10:9,10 and 13. John 14:6 Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life and no man can come to the Father, but by me.

I am living by faith in Jesus above, trusting, confiding in His great love. From all harm safe in His sheltering arms, I am living by faith and feel no alarm

My son Paul and me

Happy in Jesus
Happy in Jesus
My son Paul in the Army. I love you Paul
My son Paul in the Army. I love you Paul

Living by Faith

I have been a Christian for 45 years and have trusted my God through many hard times. I did not know my biological father, he abandoned his three children for reasons only God knows. My stepfather committed suicide, my mother was almost killed by a maniac who had molested my sister. I have been through divorce and seen many other things that a person without Christ would be depressed, taking drugs, drinking alcohol, committing suicide or just living a miserable life. I thank my Great Big wonderful God for being there for me throughout my life. I am so grateful He died for me, so that I can have eternal life with Him. I give God all the Praise for His wonderful love, comfort, guidance, and strength that I can not get from anything in this world. What a comfort He is to me. 

How do we comfort one another

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    • Bonijun37 profile imageAUTHOR

      Bonnie J. Smith 

      8 years ago from Lakewood,WA

      Thank you Pastor even though it has been a couple of years now. It is still hard, especially when a friend loses a child like my friend did yesterday. God allows us to help others through our experiences doesn't he. I have sent a few letters to my friend JD's other children and family, I pray if they are not saved they will see God's love through his message and be saved. Please pray this family Thank you

    • PastorAndrew profile image

      Andrew Grosjean 

      8 years ago from Detroit

      My dad died when I was 17. I remember my grandma crying in a way I can never discribe. Through her tears she sobbed, "A mother should never have to bury her own child." I am sorry for your loss. Praise God we know that all things work together for good for those that are called according to His purpose, who walk not after the flesh but after the spirit.

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