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When You Realize Everyone You Know is Dying

Updated on September 16, 2012

Tribute to my momma from my nephew

You are getting older

I moved to Los Angeles, California, after graduating from the University of Arkansas at Little Rock in 1973. Because I missed my family and friends, I returned to Little Rock at least once, and sometimes twice, a year. At first I would hang out with my friends and visit our old familiar hangouts. As time progressed, friends lives changed and we were no longer able to do the same old thing. The realization set in that we were growing up.

Over the years I continued to go to Little Rock and spent more and more time with my family. My sister began to have children and I spoiled them. In order to keep up with my friends, I visited their homes or called them on the phone. The local newspaper was very helpful for me to keep up with marriages, divorces, deaths, successful careers and crime!

A life-changing event took place in January, 1982. My father died. All of the cracks in our family began to show. I continued to visit my family and, as often as possible, some of my old friends. My visits were shorter because there was much less for me to do. Still, the local newspaper was very helpful for me to keep up with a few marriages, a lot of divorces, many deaths, a few successful careers and more crime.

In the late 80’s, my mother developed an obsessive compulsive disorder. She started giving herself enemas three to four times a day. She felt she needed an enema after she finished each meal. She described a bloated, miserable feeling. Over time she began to repeat questions, show less interest in her grandchildren and appearance, and withdrew from social settings. Then the reality of Alzheimer’s made itself known. It was heartbreaking to watch my once funny, playful, loving mom alternate between violent combative behavior and complete withdrawal. My mother passed away January 20, 2012. I will write several articles on Alzheimer’s, my mother, and me.

Deaths are coming more frequently over time. One of my mother’s sisters passed away in January 2008. One of her brothers passed away in January 2009. My mother passed away in January 2010. My brother-in-law passed away in June 2011. One of my favorite cousins passed away in January 2012. One of my best friends passed away in May 2012. As time goes on, more and more people with whom I have constant contact are passing away.

One day, the newspaper will carry my obituary. That’s OK because I believe in heaven. If you have time, please listen to "Heaven" which I wrote about 25 years ago.


Heaven is not like this

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    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      2 years ago from Fontana

      Thank you Martie! I look forward to reading more of your Hubs and conversing with you. I will read "The carriage Driver." Talk to you soon!

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 

      2 years ago from South Africa

      What a beautiful song you have written 25 years ago! I'm sure you will love reading "The Carriage Driver" by Mckbirdbks - Hubpages' best short-story writer. I have recently published a review of this book. He is currently busy publishing chapters of "The Carriage Driver 2" here in Hubpages. All about what Heaven may be like - or at least what our final trip to Heaven may be like.

      It is so hard to bury our beloved relatives and friends. Missing them is painful. And this will go on and on until we, too, pass away.

      I enjoyed reading this hub and meeting you, dianetrotter :)

    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      2 years ago from Fontana

      Arkansas! Which part? I'm going back March 5. Since my parents died, it is not the same. I just attended a funeral yesterday. One of my best friends was there and she told me that her daughter's dad died the day before. We have no time to be angry with people about the past. We should spend every minute loving and helping each other.

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 

      2 years ago from America

      Reading your family story is like reading my own. First I lost Grandma, Daddy, Aunts, Uncles, brother-in-laws, cousins, many of my husband's family, my husband, and my mother. Every year my husband and I would go back to Arkansas to visit my mother. Now she's gone he's gone and I have no one to go with me. My sisters are still there but I won't go alone.

      Getting older is awful and the older you get the more bother you are to people. Sad!

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 

      5 years ago from New York City

      Sorry for all of your loses, I lost my mother in 2006 to breast cancer and so I empathize with you, and I also lost my grandfathers on both sides of my family many years back. I never met my grandmother on my mothers side, she had passed away before I was born.

      I believe in a place known as the afterlife as well, I'm sure if it has a name such a heaven or what have you, but I feel that we all will someday meet in a differing form for sure, because we all had to come from somewhere before we all arrived here onto earth.

      I believe that in the unseen world is where true life actually thrives much more then in the visible seen world, and so yes you are 100% that death isn't the end its just an end for this physical shell we where known as a body to mankind.

      Awesome hub dedication to your Grandmother or mom, not sure which one, just try to check out your dates here. Thumbs up and getting shared for sure, and I liked both videos too. Nice! touching hub.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      5 years ago from Florida

      Beautiful Hub. As I get older, I lose more and more friends and loved ones. It's just a part of life, but always hard to accept.

      I voted this Hub UP, shared with my followers. I would have Pinned it but you don't have a photo on your Hub that I can Pin.

    • profile image

      PnkPoodleBohannon 

      6 years ago

      Please know that we appreciate your daily prayers for us during these difficult times. "This too shall pass."

    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      6 years ago from Fontana

      Thank you Faye. I specifically call your name and your mom's name in my prayers daily. Thank you for loving my mom!

    • profile image

      PnkPoodleBohannon 

      6 years ago

      Beautiful song!

      I watched the video of Mrs. Nelson interacting with Jeff and Vicki; I cried as I remembered how she loved and cherished her family. Jeff did an amazing job in creating this video in honor of Mrs. Nelson.

      I am honored and thankful to have known such a kind, gentle and caring person as Mrs. Nelson. I always felt loved and welcomed in her home.

    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      6 years ago from Fontana

      Thank you! Have a blessed evening!

    • lovelyjubbly profile image

      lovelyjubbly 

      6 years ago

      Well the song is fantastic! And your friend has a beautiful voice

    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      6 years ago from Fontana

      Bless you lovely. The voice is Pat Jackson, a friend of mine. I wrote the song and teach choir but I'm not necessarily a soloist. I mentor others.

    • lovelyjubbly profile image

      lovelyjubbly 

      6 years ago

      I am sorry for your loses. This was so difficult for me even to read- death is such a scary topic.

      But what a talent you have, your voice is amazing

    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      6 years ago from Fontana

      I hope so. Thank you!

    • profile image

      PnkPoodleBohannon 

      6 years ago

      I appreciate you sharing these memories that are so dear and personal to you. I'm sure this message (and future ones) will be an inspiration and support to anyone with a family member suffering with Alzheimer.

    • dianetrotter profile imageAUTHOR

      G. Diane Nelson Trotter 

      6 years ago from Fontana

      Thank you for your encouragement. God bless you!

    • nmdonders profile image

      Nira Perkins 

      6 years ago

      Thank you for sharing this. I am sorry for your losses. I have lost a few people that are very dear to me and I miss them constantly. We are lucky to have such special people in our lives. Take care and thank you again for writing this.

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