Who changed my sign?
Planets have changed their alignment?
Who the hell changed my sign?
Yesterday, I learned that due to a shift in the planets there suddenly is another astrological sign added to the charts. I am no longer a Virgo-on the cusp of Leo, but a full fledged Leo the Lion. Umm…Roar?
Perhaps this lends an explanation to the turn of luck or blessings that has come into our lives since the New Year. Maybe, just maybe, being a quiet meek, dump on me Virgo is what was holding me back. Could it be I have gone from the bad luck Virgo to the fierce Leo who gets what she needs?
It would be nice if the planets did this shifting for me. All this spiritual growth that I am working on is quite frankly, hard work. Spiritual writer, speaker and intuitive Carolyn Myss sums it up best in her book “Entering the Castle” where she draws on the work of Teresa de Avila, a 16th Century Spanish Carmelite nun, to present a no-nonsense guide to establishing a deeper, authentic relationship with God and one's soul.
According to Myss, Teresa taught the nuns around her who were hungry for her knowledge and one of the things she said was that if you are not prepared for the journey into your soul to be hard and uncomfortable work then don’t even bother.
“Go back in the kitchen and peel potatoes,” Myss quotes Teresa. For asking to be changed, enlightened and to be a channel for Grace is not like going to a spa. It is the Devine throwing life changing, mind altering experiences into your path so you can have a revelation…one that knocks you to your knees.
Let’s just say I have had a few. For example, realizing that I played a role in my own painful past, learning my true motivation was not always what I believed it to be, seeing that the human flaws in others that anger and hurt me the most are often something I possess myself; just in a different way. All of these things are an arduous journey into one’s self and require endurance to recognize the lesson and take ownership of what it all means to the soul. Then there is forgiveness. I find that one the toughest to truly master, even toward myself.
So, as you can imagine, it is hard work having all these life altering events happen and going on the journey into one’s soul and looking for the lesson, seeing the connection and mastering the art of letting it permeate the soul and evolve my perspective. I can honestly say I am not the person I was five years ago or two months ago. And frankly, though I prayed to be a channel for Grace and thought I was up to the challenge, I am tired. I am more than happy to step aside and let the planets re-align for me for a change.
And things seem to have re-aligned. Since the holidays good things have happened in our lives. My health has improved dramatically. Actually, dramatic does not fully describe the difference. In the course of a weekend I went from fever, bleeding skin lesions, hair falling out, and unbearable pain through out my body, migraine headaches, swollen tendons pulling joints out of alignment and seizures, to waking up with almost no symptoms. The lesions healed in a matter of days. The scars they normally leave behind vanished. My hair stopped falling out after a record hair loss for 12 months. The disease seems to have left my body.
On the list of blessings, my husband Adam got his year-end bonus, which to most people makes you say, “Yea, shopping spree and vacation!” But to us we say, “Yea, we can pay the mortgage!” A couple of months ago I would have said this with a tinge of bitterness, but now I say it with gratitude. I have been humbled. I have learned humility and how to work through humiliation. I have learned there is always much to be grateful for.
Adam also got a promotion which gave him a modest pay raise. We still can not afford what most take for granted, but the pangs of worry over the basics necessities to survive are now behind us. From this record low on the financial front we have learned that we as a couple still laugh and love and give thanks for being blessed with each other. We do so without vacations or weekend get-aways or the distractions of a fancy new phone or e-book or a Wii system. We buy nothing but what a family needs to survive and we go nowhere but work, the grocery store and the public library; something that could kill many relationships. Yet somehow, we grow more in love and, in turn, feel more gratitude. Our children are healthy and happy and at the end of each day there is that hand that lovingly finds mine and holds it tight. We could not be richer.
Last week I won a dinner for two at an upscale restaurant, which came as a shock because I never win anything. I have earned rewards before but never, if names or numbers are to be picked, have I been the holder of the lucky ticket.
Wrapping up the shift in luck, I have my eye on a perfect job opportunity in the field of marketing and have a couple of art shows I am working to be a part of. Things feel more aligned. Blessings feel more profound and everything seems possible.
"No higher purpose in this life exists than to be called into a mystical relationship with the divine,” Myss states. But she is correct that the lessons and a truly mystical relationship is one of hard and anguishing work. I have been led to forgive what seems impossible to forgive, to see my own actions in ways that fill me with remorse and to change not only myself but my judgment of others. I have to admit, I was the Judge Judy of the spiritual nature and I have had my gavel ripped away and been given a mirror. Change, they say, is hard. They are correct.
So, I will accept my new sign of Leo with gratitude and a loud roar. It feels about time that the universe shifts a bit on its own to accommodate the sought after betterment of me. I hear the voice of Madonna, “I’ve been waitinggggggg….”