ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why I Believe, a Testimony

Updated on April 25, 2016

A controversial topic is a good start ?

My life started in a semi-christian home. My mom took me to church with her, read me bible stories at night and reminded me to say my prayers before I went to bed. My dad rarely went to church. I always thought he was not a christian. Later in life I realised that he was the more free thinking believer with loads more wisdom than I thought.

At 12 I began struggling with some very grown up problems that I never told anyone about. I felt like I was in a deep, dark pit with little chance of escaping. My only hope was that God can help me out. I had hope in abundance. Incidently, my name also means hope. That miracle didn't come.

I bacame an atheist. This was a long and painful process that lasted almost exactly 7 years. I am a hippy at heart and got into all sorts of alternative religious practices like meditation. My search eventually led me to satanism. After searching for free books online I accidently came across "The Satanic Bible" by Anton LeVey. Through this book I found that satanism was totally different from what I thought. Anton LeVeys satanism did not involve sacrificing animals or humans like people often believe. It uses strong energies like sexual energy and hatred to cast spells. I especially liked the chapters about social vampires. At the time I was struggling with people like this in my life. Social vampires are the people who suck your life energy like vampires sucking blood. This includes anything from charities to 'friends' who manipulate you. I also found the symbolism and rituals fascinating. Some of the information might be incorrect. I read the book in 2013. In total I have only done two satanic rituals, the last one was in April last year.

I can't believe that only a year later I am writing about my journey back into God's dream team. It happened in June or July 2015. After my friends birthday party (I was drunk), I found myself in a really dangerous situation. I wasn't sure what happened that night, due to the alcohol. This made me even more scared. All I remember was that a security guard found me walking in the street and I asked him to walk me home. I lied and said that I will pay him a hundred bucks if he got me home safely. I had the hundred note with me but I knew I was not really going to pay him. I needed the money! I was selfish and a liar. So I lied to and cheated my guardian angel that night.

I didn't like this person I've become. I realised that no one, not even myself, can change anything. I then opened my Bible for the first time in years. I was so surprised at how plainly and openly it spoke of the issues we still face today. I did not remember the Bible being like this. And so my mind was opened to the greatness of God.

There is a ton of things I'd still like to say. So feel free to ask questions if you want. I would especially like to know from atheists why they think religion is for naive people. Why they place so much trust in science. Why they think they cannot believe in things they can't see or prove through scientific experiment. If science is the only thing that's real then you will know that we cannot even see half of everything there is to see. You know what I'm talking about right? If you would like to start a debate please keep it light hearted. God didn't create a sense of humour for nothing. Also, this blog was way too serious.

Chow xxx


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very interesting story. I am glad you have found some peace.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)