Why I Have Come Back to the Catholic Church
I was recently asked by my sister why I am practicing the Catholic faith when I was a born again Christian/Bible Believer/Baptist/Bible Church goer for three years.
Here's my reply.
Returning to the Catholic Church was something I never planned to do. I was recently hospitalized (almost 2 months ago) for about 6 hours and I was on an IV, and had EKG strapped to my chest. My heart was racing. The doctors told me they didn't know if I was going to make it, and I was scared, because I thought I would go to hell without confession and I kept asking, begging, for a priest.
When I was confronted with possible death- fear kicked in. Later my bible friends told me it was just fear. But I was aware within myself that I was not living according to God's law and something told me that it was not acceptable to God.
I had been trying for a long time to get over one of my most difficult faults. I went to the Catholic Church where I grew up, and went to confession and Mass and received Communion after. I was so grateful for being given a chance to amend my life as I saw I was doing wrong.
My bible friends thought this was temporary but it's not. I realized I belonged "home" and it was with a whole new perception because in the past ten years I had explored Evolutionism, Agnosticism, Atheist ideas, and of course Bible Christianity.
In the beginning, when I turned to God via the salvation prayer with my sister, I felt an immense peace come over me, that was on December 26, 2009 and I was 33. It was a very special day for me and a very special time. I learned how to get closer to Jesus as I had been a lax Catholic for years.
But later, after a few years passed, I felt I was at a standstill in my spiritual life, and that I wasn't able to overcome specific faults. I've always had a very strong desire since I was very young to be "good".
My role model since I was little has been my mother. She is and has been impressively and heroically spiritual. She has an amazing aura about her, despite her faults as we all have them. She is very strong and she has had an amazingly hard life. It was my Catholic faith that kept me alive all those years I was in emotional pain and suicidally depressed. Yes.
Ephesians 2: 8-9 (KJV) For by grace are ye saved through faith: and not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.
I stayed in the bible church for three years, because I needed to learn that I'm not better than anyone else. I was brought up around "certain Catholics" who led me to believe that I was better if I prayed more, or was more reverent in church, or dressed more modestly, or fasted more, that kind of thing. For years I had a big ego.
The Catholic Church has a combination of the right ingredients if you aspire to become rich spiritually.
- The Seven Sacraments
- The sacrifice of the Mass in which we receive Jesus in Holy communion
- The Rosary
- The Stations of the Cross
- Inspirational people who have lived before us to relate to and aspire to
- Edifying hymns and visuals to be inspired by
- AND....The Holy Bible.
(I knew I needed all of these.)
I enjoy the Holy Eucharist very much. I love the rosary, it helps me to mediate on the passion, life, and death of Jesus Christ. I have tons of examples (canonized saints) to be inspired by. I have endless beautiful pictures to look at. I have the stations of the cross to meditate on to help me love Jesus more by understanding better what his passion and death were about! What more could I ask for to get close to Jesus?
Everyone goes thru pain and suffering in this life and what better person to learn from than Jesus Christ. Who can teach us about love more? He can teach us to love ourselves because He loved us first. He can teach us to love others because He does.
I'm happy and this has given me wonderful freedoms I never knew I could have. The challenge will always be there but it has gotten easier. Not everyone has to go to Mass daily and pray the rosary daily, but it's there as an option. I never thought I'd follow in my mother's footsteps! Lol!