Why I chose Paganism over Christianity
Have you ever felt like someone was calling you to a different path?
Top Reasons Why I Chose Paganism.
To understand why you must first hear a little about my background. I grew up in Surrey, BC, Canada. A city with a lot of drug addicts, and dealers. There were Christians at Surrey Central every Sunday singing songs, and handing out pamphlets. My mother was Christian, my father was atheist. My mom used to make me read a verse from the bible everyday after school. As most people I had questions about the bible...
1.) After Cain went to the land of Nod to live among the people. I wondered where the people came from since as far as we knew from the bible, Adam and Eve and their two sons were the only people on earth. Or am I wrong?
2.) God seemed to be this high and mighty bully. If he thought we weren't perfect enough he sent floods, and plagues (The story of Moses and the fog that killed all first born).
Even after all that I still wanted to know more. But my mother went through a phase, she was exploring witchcraft. I watched her preform spells and do things that I've never seen anyone do. I was 9 years old at the time, and it was magical to me. I started buying books about it, and yes at 9 years old I wasn't very good at reading or understanding when I read, but I kept them for the day I was old enough to understand.
When I was 13 I started reading these books I bought. I understood more than I expected. I started to do spells in my room, mostly just to talk to my crush, and he ended up talking to me. I was surprised at how a little bit of wishing, wanting, pining could do. My mother was far out of her phase by this time and she started burning the books she had on witchcraft, she started saying "All of our stress, problems are because I embraced the devil and his evil demons" I hid it from my parents, I would draw a pentagram in the floor with chalk and then erase it afterwards. I bought all kinds of candles and hid them in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I hid my books at school in my locker.
My brother used to try and get me in trouble anyway he could, and because in my bookshelf at home had a hole, he could peer into my room. He saw me preforming a protection spell on my cat Blackee.... He ran out and told my mother right away... My father came in and grabbed all my candles from the floor and my book of shadows and he went into the backyard with all of it, my mother had her bible with her. She told him to burn everything, I cried and begged him not to. He did it anyways... My mother turned to me and asked me to hold the bible, mostly to see if I possessed... I grabbed her bible and I opened it and ripped the pages out of it. She said the Lord will strike me dead for my sacrilege. My father beat me until I stopped saying that they were devils with a black book of hate.
After that I never spoke about Witchcraft. When I was 17 I decided to give Christianity another chance, I was dating a devout Christian, and I was in love. I went to church every Sunday. Until one night when I called him and he was out at the movies with his girlfriend... I said "But I'm his girlfriend..." When he got home he called me, and I told him I knew about his "girlfriend". He told me that he didn't want me to find out that way, I said too late. I broke up with him, and I prayed to God to tell me what I was doing wrong.
When I was 18 I was raped by a guy who said he believed in God. I trusted him, and honestly if he hadn't of raped me I probably would of given him a chance to be my boyfriend. I was so torn up about it afterwards. I got clamidia. I found out that I couldn't have children naturally because of how badly I was injured. I prayed to God again to help me get through this hard time. Nothing I did could erase the doctors words that doomed me to be barren.
I found one of my old diaries from when I was 15. I saw the made up letters I made so no one could read my diary. I wrote out the alphabet again, I started writing it in my diary again. One day when one of my spiritual friends was over, he saw it. He said "Some of these letters look like runes" I said "What are runes?" He went on my computer and looked up what runes are and let me read it. I read it and I realized that yes some of the letters really were runes.
I started looking at all the things I was attracted to, like the number 3 I am obsessed with, and my book of shadows that was burned. I had so many things in it that I didn't know was apart of Wicca, and Paganism until I looked up the correspondences of them with Wicca, and Paganism. I started to unfold the veil that was covered for so long because of my parents. I was a natural Wiccan, and Pagan. I wasn't influenced by anyone, it came to me since I was 9 years old, and it was the path set in front of me, and I just needed all these trials to see that.
I started learning as much as I could about wicca, and Paganism, I bought so many books, and I tried different styles. I found myself. When I realized that this was what I was being lead to the whole time, I asked "Who has been calling me here?" I did a little soul searching. I read through so many Gods and Goddesses... Then she Spoke to me. I got chills once I laid eyes on her... Isis. After that I spent the rest of my last 16 years learning, and I never stopped learning. I read so many things about so many different religions.
I'm not a person who is closed minded, I have a very open mind. I want to learn and find out everything about the many different religions on earth. I went far back as the Sumerians. I found it all to be fascinating and I learned a lot. Back to the topic.
Why I chose Paganism over Christianity. I chose it because it called to me, it sent for me through years and years of correspondences. I had no idea where I would end up when I went on my spiritual path. I just wanted to feel free of judgement, and free from suffering anymore. When I finally came out of the broom closet to my friends and family it was the hardest part of it.
When you come out, there is no turning back. I was scared to tell my mom and dad. But to my surprise when I told my mom she didn't care... And my father said that I was retarded. When I told my friends, some of them left my friendship, and others embraced it and asked me if I was psychic. I told them that I am a little bit and that I was working on it. I had ended up reading tarot cards for my friends cousin and I got a warning from them about her. I told her that she was hiding something and that it wasn't going to end well... It turns out she was hiding the fact she had a violent stalker, who tried to rape her and ended up beating her up.
I also decided to find out if a spell could help me get pregnant, since I was told that there was no natural way for me to become pregnant. I did a forgiveness spell along with a fertility spell afterwards. I consecrated a small crystal that I carried with me at all times. I ended up getting pregnant... But I suppose it wasn't meant to be because I lost the baby in Oct 2008... I tried again November 2012... I got pregnant on Yule 2012... I knew it right away too. I thanked Isis, and I was so happy and excited. I gave birth to my first boy Sept 1, 2012. I prayed and I cast a spell and I got what I wanted. Something Christianity never gave me in the many years I prayed to "God".
So the reasons I chose Paganism over Christianity is because I am judged, but not from my God, and Goddess :) I don't fear death because I know I'm not ending up in hell, I don't believe in demons, or the devil. I believe only in Chaos which is in natural accordance with the cycle of life. I am more at peace within myself, and I am happier all around. Since embracing my Pagan roots, I have been able to freely explore many different paths within Paganism. Currently I am exploring the world of Ancient Egypt and their beliefs, culture and customs. I even cook Ancient Egyptian foods that I found online. If anyone would like to know some recipes I will be happy to write a Hub for that :)
I hope this helped with understanding why I personally chose Paganism. There are many reasons but I didn't want to offend anyone. I don't believe all Christians are like my parents, or my uncle and aunt. I do however see many around where I live, I've experienced many horrible Christians, I cannot even believe how they can behave towards people. I shall post some photo's in a hub to show you some time, some of the things my "friend" had said to me after knowing I am Pagan. I think I will write a hub about how to gracefully deal with Christians who think they are right, and that look down on you, speak down to you. I hope that will help many of the younger people who come to Paganism wondering how to explain nicely that there is no way of swaying me from my calling.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. Look for more of my hubs :)