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Why Live Like a Christian When I Can Have Whatever I Want?

Updated on April 13, 2014

Two weeks in the psych hospital in Dec of 2013 were the worst two weeks of my life, but after they got my meds straightened out right; I've felt more normal than probably ever or at least in 22 years and that's a long time!


I found myself home and thinner, noticing the world found me very attractive and I felt that my life could become very superficial and more worldly if I chose. But I didn't have a choice. And that's hard to explain. One of the reasons is that I believe I am fixed in God spiritually...once saved (born again) always saved. But there is another explanation, as well.


I choose the narrow path! (that leads to life everlasting)
I choose the narrow path! (that leads to life everlasting)

When you suffer a lot, you have no choice but to tell a story. The pain humbles you. Sometimes I feel like I just don't fit in. I mean, I guess I have low self esteem at times, but it more than that. It's hard to go back to literally carefree living when you've been through what I have. I don't want to be superficial in any way. Really! How could I be. How could I dress fancy, wear Coach purse, makeup, hair etc. and act like my life has been perfect?

Maybe I should. (I should) be like Joyce Meyer and ask God for prosperity (money) and dress lovely and live lovely. I'm not against that necessarily, but the man I marry .....well that is very very delicate. I cannot just date or love anyone.I can't be with a man who's known no pain, it just wouldn't work!

I can wait!

Sigh.

Life has been pretty complicated. I see many (people) who don't know of God or aren't sure and well...part of my job (responsibility) is to show He does exist in me by example as much as possible (I am by no means perfect) but I have to try hard, not only for myself and God (to please Him and live well) but to help others convert. Many souls must be saved!

I am glad and honored God has chosen me to do nice things. (As He has all of us and those of you who are Christians will know what I'm talking about!)

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    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      4 years ago

      Hi tinatincy,

      :) Thanks. I find myself feeling strong about things, and then I share them. I sorta feel like Joyce Meyer just a little, that it's my job to share. She is totally amazing and inspirational - and funny!!

      I also find people who are other beliefs like you said, spiritual in their own way. I have learned quite a bit from people like that, who have these natural virtues, without being spiritual which is really cool!

      So, from their example, I find it important for me to work on myself...to just be a better human and be fun to be around :)

    • tinatincy profile image

      tinatincy 

      4 years ago from Zagreb

      I agree you should keep this hub! I find it to be so beautiful and honest! I really like you take your spirituality serious and personally, I think religion should be an important part of everyone's life...it doesn't matter what it is, but everyone should believe in something...it just makes the world a better place to live in! Good job!

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      4 years ago

      Thank you Blossom, you are so sweet!

      It is humbling, but that's what it takes sometimes. I would be happy if it helps people!

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Oh, yes, do keep it! You never know who you might help. Thank you for sharing these thoughts - that takes courage.

    • schoolgirlforreal profile imageAUTHOR

      schoolgirlforreal 

      4 years ago

      Thank you, I'm glad you liked it, I was going to delete it since it's personal, but I'll keep it up!

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      4 years ago from Minnesota

      Beautiful reflections of your difficult life journey and Christianity. Thank you for sharing :-)

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