Why Live Like a Christian When I Can Have Whatever I Want?
Two weeks in the psych hospital in Dec of 2013 were the worst two weeks of my life, but after they got my meds straightened out right; I've felt more normal than probably ever or at least in 22 years and that's a long time!
I found myself home and thinner, noticing the world found me very attractive and I felt that my life could become very superficial and more worldly if I chose. But I didn't have a choice. And that's hard to explain. One of the reasons is that I believe I am fixed in God spiritually...once saved (born again) always saved. But there is another explanation, as well.
When you suffer a lot, you have no choice but to tell a story. The pain humbles you. Sometimes I feel like I just don't fit in. I mean, I guess I have low self esteem at times, but it more than that. It's hard to go back to literally carefree living when you've been through what I have. I don't want to be superficial in any way. Really! How could I be. How could I dress fancy, wear Coach purse, makeup, hair etc. and act like my life has been perfect?
Maybe I should. (I should) be like Joyce Meyer and ask God for prosperity (money) and dress lovely and live lovely. I'm not against that necessarily, but the man I marry .....well that is very very delicate. I cannot just date or love anyone.I can't be with a man who's known no pain, it just wouldn't work!
I can wait!
Life has been pretty complicated. I see many (people) who don't know of God or aren't sure and well...part of my job (responsibility) is to show He does exist in me by example as much as possible (I am by no means perfect) but I have to try hard, not only for myself and God (to please Him and live well) but to help others convert. Many souls must be saved!
I am glad and honored God has chosen me to do nice things. (As He has all of us and those of you who are Christians will know what I'm talking about!)