How good is your discernment?
Aside from basing your decisions from your intuition what else you do consider before trusting someone?
That is an excellent question, Kris. It helps to understand this before we actually are learning from experience. I used to blindly trust everyone. I was very naive and always focused on the good in people. My late husband would chide me about this and try to convince me that I was too naive and needed to not trust so openly. After a few lessons from the school of hard knocks I can now agree with him.
There is an excellent book that I have read a couple of times called 'Trust Rules, Telling the Good Guys from the Bad Guys'. The author (I think it is Linda stokes??) teaches a course in 'trust' at a university in Minnesota, I believe. I read that and realized how easily 'duped' I could be.
As stated, I have met a few unscrupulous characters in my lifetime whom I can now see were not people I should have trusted. Now, I rely on the actions, words, overall moral character, the way a person talks, the eyes...It is much more than intuition or instinct.
In addition, I have been fine tuning my discernment. It is amazing how one can develope this ability to a very deep level.
Great question-what is your answer???
The old police-mind tells me: never trust coincidence! If something does or doesn’t add up in some peculiar way it mostly is not a sound assumption. But I would also say that people can change and the way you conceive them does also affect their behavior.
Really bad people are often very nice they wait for an opportunity when you are off guard or a situation in stress where they want you to do something important to them. Never make any important decisions or business in a spur of a moment or without normal safety procedures.
Unfaithful people are often eye servant or guilt driven.
I liked Denise answers because they came from heart and experience.
Take Care!
Like Denise, I'm the type that first wants to really believe a person and what he or she is saying, promising, hoping .... But I've learned the hard way that this is only part of the story. I am learning to take a long hard look at a person's track record to see if their past behavior and decisions line up with what they are currently saying they want and intend to do. Also, I've learned to, in a sense, give the person a test, kind of without them knowing. This would be some kind of short term expectation or goal that he or she says they will carry out, I make a mental note of this and keep track. When I find they do not carry out what they said they would do, I talk with them about it to find out more of the 'why.' Then, I must decide if it is wise for me to put up with that, or instead lower my 'belief' in future claims of what that person says they will do.
My intuitive powers are razor sharp I can smell danger or something wrong.
I give my trust begrudgingly.The more you fulfil my expectations the great trust you earn.
Hi Denise! I was so relieved when i read your answer. Honestly I am also naive and gullible that's cause like you said, I do focus so much on the good side of other people and I usually get hurt in the end. The truth is, I do have a strong discernment I do know if a person can be trusted and can't be trusted the thing is I want to give them the benefit of the doubt. Believing that people can change if you show them respect, love and honesty. Too bad most people I've encountered failed me in some way and this doesn't happened rarely; it happens often. I guess the greatest influence I have when it comes to trusting is my mother. She always trust people because she wants to believe that people are innately good but in the end, they hurt her. It's pretty dumb of me to be doing the same but hey, i'd rather be this than be too suspicious all the time. But I'm learning how to trust smart now..
by Roshan Sharma 9 years ago
Belief is to believe in something. It can be true or false. But we believe, out of trust, faith and sometimes because the world believes in it.Beliefs are the old thoughts, that sometimes you hang on in your life for generations. You have the power to make your own beliefs.There are two types of...
by Alistair Olver 11 years ago
Do you use intuition to make decisions?I think using you intuition to make decisions is the best way, then you are being true to yourself rather than being influenced unduly by someone elses opinion, which often starts when we are young and impressionable!
by savvydating 8 years ago
On a scale of 5 to 10, how well do you trust your intuition?Indeed, do you have good intuition? If so, how do you know? Intuition: The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. Here is a quote I rather like: “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the...
by Rad Man 9 years ago
I read something a while back about how intuition evolved to get us out of dangerous situation and that if you are using it for anything else you are more likely wrong. I then noticed people in these forums say that they just KNOW God is real and that no amount of reason will prove anything...
by COCOBEWARE 3 years ago
Would you leave your spouse if he/she only cheated once? Where do you draw the line?
by cjhunsinger 9 years ago
"Are atheists really so different from everyone else? Well, yes – but not in a bad way. Catherine Caldwell-Harris of Boston University has studied atheists and found that they share certain personality types, including being individualistic and being systematic...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |