I had a similar problem of being a Leo with very little Leo traits. When I was a kid, someone explained that it was because I was born on the "cusp" of Virgo and the traits blended, etc. This didn't really explain "me".
I've found that the way we were raised can affect our traits, perceptions and behaviours. For example, being raised with the rule of "Children should be seen and not heard" puts damper on a Leo's showmanship :-s
Interesting enough, my Native American totem astrological sign wasn't much like me either.
When I discovered Chinese astrology, I found the description for a Water Rat was far more accurate and a Leo or Leo/Virgo cusp baby.
When I was a teenager, my aunt handed me a copy "The Secret Meaning of Names" by Pierre La Rouzic and told me to look up my name. The premise of the book is that our names affect our personalities. So, I looked up Rosa .... The description was nothing like my personality at the time. My aunt suggested that I look up the name nearest to the nickname my mother had called me all my life. BINGO! I was floored. The description fit me perfectly. Apparently, the names we identify ourselves with DOES affect our personality :-)
Point is, there's not one thing that dictates our personality. Astrology, names, Feng Shui numbers - they can give us a glimpse of traits COMMON among a specific group, but who we are is determined by our training (or retraining of self), the way we view the world, the way we choose to behave, etc.