How is the best way to comfort someone that lost a loved one

Jump to Last Post 1-12 of 12 discussions (12 posts)
  1. sir_tallest profile image58
    sir_tallestposted 12 years ago

    How is the best way to comfort someone that lost a loved one

  2. qlcoach profile image74
    qlcoachposted 12 years ago

    I have several ideas. Grief is a process that ranges from shock, anger, denial, to sadness, and acceptance. So first, let the person know who is grieving that you are there for them. Ask if that person wants to talk or just needs some space. Next encourage the honest expression of all feelings and emotions. Last but not least, try to support the sharing of pleasant memories about the person who has passed. This is why I write about emotional recovery and miracles. Peace and Light...Gary.

  3. cobrien profile image62
    cobrienposted 12 years ago

    Do something nice to make things easier for him/her. Take food, mow the lawn, take the kids somewhere, give flowers and just listen.

  4. CraigDesmarais profile image59
    CraigDesmaraisposted 12 years ago

    One of the best ways to comfort someone in this situation is to listen to what they are feeling.  How often do you hear people say, "I feel better after talking about it"?

    Reassuring tem that life will move on helps as well and letting them know not to continue living in greif because that person who passed away would not want their loved one living in such a way. 

    I also agree with@cobrien, do something for the person.  Make them a meal, bring them out somewhere, do something helpful and all the while let them know they are not alone.

  5. MazioCreate profile image68
    MazioCreateposted 12 years ago

    Having lost four members of my immediate family (two car accidents) within a six months timeframe I say - ask if you can do anything to help e.g. cook etc and let them know you are there for them whenever they might need to talk.  Contact them every few days, but don't bombard them with calls or just popping in.  They need reflective time interspersed with social time.

    One aspect that always confronts others when these tragedies occur is the humour that comes with the devestation.  Coming from a large family we gather and tell stories about our loved siblings and inevitably end up with raucous laughter issuing from the house.  Laughter / humour is a very important process for coming to terms with the lose and the grieving process.  So, in short, just let them know you are there and don't be afraid to raise the subject or talk about anything else.  Yes it is horrible to lose loved ones, but it is also hard to lose those who are still alive because they don't know what to say or how to be around someone grieving.

  6. Attikos profile image81
    Attikosposted 12 years ago

    Been there, done that, got the scars. Keep 'em decently fed; grieving people won't eat unless they're encouraged to, but they need fuel. Make sure they know they're not alone, that you and other friends are only a phone call away. Don't make a pest of yourself, but go by as often as you feel you should to check on them. When they want to be alone, slip out gracefully and don't take offense. Mow their grass for them. Sit next to them in church. Don't kid yourself you can make the pain go away, and don't make them suffer through nonsensical platitudes like "I know how you feel," or "Call me if there's anything I can do." Be there for them, and help them get through when they need you. That's all you can do.

  7. profile image0
    lavender3957posted 12 years ago

    That depends upon how the person wants to be comforted after losing a loved one. I wanted to be left alone for a few days. I wanted to grieve my way. The person who needs to comforted should be let known you care, and you are here for them when they are ready to be comforted. Sometimes a person comes on to strong and makes things worse. At least in my opinion, of it happening to me.

  8. stanwshura profile image72
    stanwshuraposted 12 years ago

    Be there - as in be available.  To talk, to listen.  To hold and cry.

    Don't push.

    Obviously avoid the trite and just plain dumb cliche's:  "S/he's in a better place", "Time heals all wounds".  "It's a sad part of the whole cycle"...

    Blah blah.  You can express those thoughts.  But MEAN them - and say what's in your heart and WHEN your heart tells you it's right (or the grieving person outright asks).  You can surely express some comforting thoughts - just say it from the heart and not from the inside of a fortune cookie or a 50-year old "etiquette" book or some vague recollection of things to say to FILL THE SPACE.

    If that is your motive - to ease YOUR discomfort - please try and let the space just BE.  Bettter that than for a grieving person to hear what you both know is an insincere - or at least a cookie-cutter version of - some obligatory expression of condolances.

    Be there when s/he wants to grieve.  Be there when s/he wants to (of his/her own initiative) "get out" for awhile and just do something not related to funerals and final arrangements and missing someone and what not.  That stuff is important - but it's not the only thing someone who has suffered a loss needs.

    Let them know that you're there to help them remember, to console them, and yes, to help and join them in getting back into living (as slowly as they want!).

    Whatever you do - be SINCERE!

  9. James Halpin profile image60
    James Halpinposted 12 years ago

    When our son died I remember that the best thing for us was having everyone around and making sure we ate. Hundreds of cards started pouring in and the best thing in all the cards was knowing that we were in people's thoughts and prayers.

    stanwshura is right on with what he was saying about not saying that they are ina better place.  Because that's saying being with you isn't good enough.  Another thing,don't say I know what you're going through unless you've actually experienced it otherwise it isn't sincere.

    A lot of the times it was just the fact that people were there.  They didn't need to say anything. Just being there was a great help.

  10. nightwork4 profile image60
    nightwork4posted 12 years ago

    this happened to me last night. a very good friends mom died. my wife and i went over to his house and just talked to him and his wife. we had a couple of beer and remembered her . then we just talked about things, nothing important and when we left, he was smiling.

  11. jacqui2011 profile image81
    jacqui2011posted 12 years ago

    I think just being there for them and knowing that they have you is important. People deal with grief in different ways, some need comfort at the time while others need time alone to come to terms with their loss. It is getting the balance right between giving them personal space and comfort when they need it. If they know that you are there for them they know that they are not alone.

  12. mandyf profile image59
    mandyfposted 12 years ago

    just simply be there and listen when they need to talk encourage them to talk about the loved one they lost

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)