I did not find or lose him. I believe in the one and only God, Jesus Christ. I was raised an orthodox protestant and every night, I heard beautiful stories, mostly parables. That provided me with a trusting heart, and I loved them, and they had led me on throughout my life, touching each and everything in it. I suppose, I may say, that I found him, when I was first told of his love. I have fallen in love with His majest, glory and might as he drove Legion into the pigs, this tells me to be fearless and undaunted and take risks effectively in life for He is beside me, I was taught of his love when He forgave the prostitute and stopped people from stoning her and I never feel insecure, I feel loved and wanted always. I admire the gentle, noble way how he bore the taunts of Roman soldiers as he was crucified and how he calmly reacted to Judas and Peter, it teaches me to be graceful and sociable always and as HE DIED, hung on the wretched tree, bleeding, bound, deserted without cringing and trying to repine his way out of that excruciating anguish, I am taught of pure love. I never found Him, He found me! If you are asking this because you feel deserted or upset or even doubtful, abandon yourself, lay your heart open to His love, to Him, He will find you and you will respect, admire and love him more than anything and be blessed and peaceful the rest of you life. May God bless and keep you!!!