If there is one phrase to make parents to fly off the handle it is this one "I hate you!", but there is whole repertoire of very effective combat starters like "You're ruining my life!", "I am sorry I am such a disappointment to you!", "It's not fair!", "You just want somebody who is perfect!", "You never..." and "But why?"
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I agree as well. My son, not a teenager yet, kept saying "I hate my father!" and I asked him to just stop saying this. He looked at me, sat down quietly in the corner and started crying. I had to deal with the feeling, not the decorum.
I would agree the most with this answer - never to make the fight bigger than it is. It is the context in which the words are said that is more important and it is the adult who is more mature who stops first.
Wow these responses seem like and ego power trip over someone younger. I hope I guide by reason and set examples of love that preclude such a response. It is not like fate that teenagers act that way, it is by parenting.
Eric - there are many types of parenting styles - no one style is perfect. As parents, we all do our best and that is all we can do. When teenagers get to the point of "I hate you" they are usually beyond calm reasoning.
No just a teacher, It would be nice to wipe our hands and say it is fatalistic, but such would be a cop out. I have taken 5 through teen years as a father figure. By twenty we laugh at my role. They have all hated life and the cards they were dealt.
Justateacher, I agree with you. There is an old film when the main character thought his father was horrible until he became one himself. It's called "Parenthood" with Steve Martin and young teenager Joaquin Phoenix. Teenagers learn & become a