Good question. I'll have to think about it--but off the top of my head I wonder if it's debt (student loan) and lack of knowledge of how to make money enough to be responsible, provide for family, and to DO what I'm called to do, while still having the TIME to do what I'm called to do.
I feel like I stand in a place in which my time and income feel so precarious.So, for example, I am a freelance writer and I keep taking on educational consulting jobs because they pay the bills. My husband and I don't live a fancy life--but we have goals and are preparing for a child. We are trying to eat healthy food and that is more costly. I know I'm supposed to be home to raise my child so that means no traditional "safe" 9-5 job.
Also, God has given me a novel to write--and articles--and other book ideas. I work on them when I can but it seems like 85% of my time goes to the writing jobs that "make money" and by the time I get to the projects I'm most excited about I tend to have little time, energy, or creativity left. I tried working on my "God" projects first for a week and left my consulting for last. That was a stressful week--I had to stay up late every night to finish my work and while I did get a lot accomplished on the "God" projects, my consulting suffered--I think I had more edits returned to me that week than normal.
So I guess right now it seems like a lack of knowledge or lack of a strategy. If I knew clearly how to do this I would do it. I heard the call, but the way isn't totally clear (yet). I'm taking one step of faith at a time (I often take leaps of faith and end up jumping too far, too fast, too often) so I'm learning how to slow down a little.
I used to not take steps of faith at all--I was too afraid to make decisions. Then I became a leaper and risk-taker. I had a radical encounter with God and His truths and went through years of becoming truly me and much more free. This enabled me to take huge leaps of faith.
Now I think God is teaching me balance (we often learn one side of the pendulum and then the other before we learn how to go back and forth or be in the middle).
I'm in a period of transition so that is always stretching and uncomfortable. So what am I "attached" to? Maybe and old way of doing things because in this new season I need new strategies. I wouldn't say I'm attached to old ways--but holding on, yes, because I don't know what the new thing looks like yet.