I believe you alone decide how an experience will affect you. Since both good and bad things occur in the course of living one's life there must be some value to, and reason for both. For me it's the act of deciding to be an active participant in my life. Each of us must decide if we are going to view bad experiences with passive acceptance as something we have no control over. If one does this on a regular basis it seems to me life would quickly become negative and hopeless. I choose to try and understand the lesson to be learned from each experience, good or bad. We tend to pay more attention to the bad things that happen because they cause us pain and interrupt the life we believe we are suppose to be having. Where did we get the idea that life is always suppose to be happy? Most accomplishments require effort and involve some amount of failure. Did you walk the first time you tried? Were you able to read the first time you picked up a book? Life is about growth and experiences. When something bad happens it may be difficult to see how any good could be found in it. That becomes the lesson and growth opportunity. If you allow yourself to take a step back and look at the experience as a lesson you will begin to alter your view of the experience. The very act of asking the question will move you from a passive to active participant. Once you are active you are living your life and engaging in it. It may be very hard to see anything positive in the short term, but if you look for the lesson that very act is one of movement . Life is about choices, sometimes our choices may be limited. So when you have the opportunity to make a choice, to see a bad experience as an opportunity why not do so?