By all accounts, their relationship was one of love and true companionship and she went on to become an amazing and influential woman. Obviously no one at the time saw anything wrong in it, so we can assume that it was a marriage that abided by acceptable norms.
I think any factual number from that long ago should be taken with a fair bit of suspicion. Consider, for example, disagreements about the exact date that Jesus was born. I don't really see much value in being fixated on a number rather than the spirit and meaning of things. It doesn't really matter if Christmas is the exact day. It is the celebration of Christ's birth that matters.
Just like we don't need to know Aisha's exact age. We can simply assume, based on the spirit of the story (of a deep and valued love) that she was of an appropriate age and was always treated with kindness, love, and tenderness.
I think the reasons some Muslims condemn western civilization are for the same sort of reasons anyone condemns anyone: they WANT to, and cherry-pick reasons to do so.