I believe that we are human and therefore provoked to anger and even violence. We are also provoked to show love or kindness. So the question isn't who should be able to hit who, but whether we can be forgiving and humble towards one another. A real man wouldn't run to the police if he's being beaten by a wife but instead he would have, from the start, shown dominion over the woman in that respect.
There are those cases where abuse is being dealt to those who simply cannot help themselves. In that case the abuser should know that what harshness they deal to others does indeed come back tenfold.
But alas, the world is cruel and at times can be unforgiving. The weak will suffer unknowingly to others, but God sees their pain, and whether they know whether or not to look to him for peace, vegence is His.