I lost my oldest brother to suicide. He was very ill and at the end when he took his life. I think he felt all alone and lost hope of support from his siblings. He did not feel anyone was there for him.But we were. He must have felt like the loneliest person in the world.
When I learned of his death, I kept asking myself why. I don't remember how many times I asked why over a period of time. I depended on him to be the strong person he came across as being. He took something from me when he ended his life.I tried to be a supportive sibling to him. I felt betrayed. I knew he was deathly ill but I was prepared to lose him that way. Not from suicide.Suicide creates questions that can never be answered.