Finding an Astral Lover
The Astral Road to Love
So you've decided to take an astral lover if you ended up here. Your lover could be anyone or anything from an elf to a ghost to a Deity. But before you begin please read the 'Why do I want this?' section.
I want to point out before you start that this is a real and valid form of sex magic. If you are not cool with that, run to the nearest exit. As we go on I'll cover tips, tricks, and snags you might hit along the way. Remember to follow your heart but also think with your head. The one with the brains in it, honey.
To old-time readers: I have somehow misplaced half the lens. The older lens would not update, hence this new one. Just sit tight and I'll see what I can do. All photos and written material are my original work, so paws off.
Please Note: I've recently been informed my work has been stolen and I'm asked here that the thieves removed the stolen work immediately. Thank you for your cooperation.
Why Do I Want This?
The vibes you put out in the astral realm will get definite results. So take a moment before you leap to figure out just who or what you desire. Do you want a one a long term relationship or just a booty call? You can explore your sexuality, learn new things, or just find a good time. Just keep the vibe you want in mind, OK?
Also keep that firmly in mind when a potential lover shows up. If he, she, or it is not what you are looking for move on. Example, say you want a kind, thoughtful lover of the light. And this being shows up that seems like what you want, but something is a bit off. Run the Hell away! You do not have to take every being who answers your call. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong send that being on his or her way.
Who can I call?
Anybody or anything. Calling up a fictional character will most likely get you a friendly shapeshifter. But he or she will be there time and again, ready to take on new forms. You can meet a creature from beyond our world, a fairy, a Deity. It is all up to you. Keep in mind that actual beings like elves or Deities can cross over into our world very easily. Double that for ghosts. Yeah, you can call voodoo loa too.
In Gnostic voodoo as a matter of fact, it is a given that you will take one or more loa as a lover. It is all about feeding your sweet love that vital sexual energy. And to be polite, magical cream from your wand or honey from your hot box. You can go right ahead and put that in food offerings if you want, or leave it plain. Some inventive lovers will just help themselves.
How To Do It
You can either do this in your sleep or in meditation. You'll find with practice you can open a mini portal to see your lover during waking hours. In meditation, once you have entered the astral realm put out a mental, verbal, or visual call for your lover. Remember to be specific here. It might take more than one try, but an interested lover will definitely show up.
They will tend to match your idea of a perfect lover and will have the experience to take the lead if needed. A lot of them thrive on the energy generated from sexual unions so don't worry about taking advantage of them. As a matter of fact, they will have a lot more staying power than you will.
That's up to you. Depending on how well your first encounter went you might want more. If so just keep calling the same lover. If you want to play the field and explained so, that's fine. But just dropping a lover who though you wanted him or her will result in nasty whispers to every other suitor to comes to you.
As time goes on you will develop a union with your lover. This can be as intense as the two of you want it, and yes it is real. This is where you think good and careful about pledging your undying love. If you give a serious pledge don't be surprised to find out lovers in the realm are being kept at bay. Don't expect Goddess to hide you if you cheated either.
Can I get pregnant?
All those fathered by God stories have at least a kernel of truth. It could be possible that the lover pulls you into a realm where he is plenty fertile. So make it clear to those famous for fathering kids that you don't want one. Yes, Zeus, I'm talking directly to you.
Also even though I have only one sexy source, the Baron Samedi is said to have fathered a child. The New Orleans Devil Baby in fact. Whether this is a real thing, a hougan covering his tracks, or just a tale is for you to decide .
Let's not forget the Virgin Mary is said to have ben impregnated by God, The Holy Spirit, or even St. Michael.
I want to get serious - Wedding Bells!
Honey if you both want it, that's the most serious sacrament in the world. You don't need a piece of paper or a ring to make you a married. Some folks like to pick out rings with the partner tailing along. (Remember that portal I mentioned?) Just remember that this is a very real marriage and infidelity on your part will hurt your lover. This isn't some pretend being you made up, you know.
Don't believe me? Ask a mambo what the average loa will do to an unfaithful husband or wife.
Also remember that you have to live here in our realm. Since you will stop dating a lot of well-meaning people will want to know why. They might even try to force you to go on dates. And no, telling them about your betrothed won't help a whole lot. Even the most open people, including witches and pagans, may feel you've slipped a gear.
Unless you are talking to open-minded or been there, done that folks, keep your trap shut. You start telling people about how real you lover is and they will slap you in a loony bin. Worse still, if they do believe you some might try to save you from this 'demon' possessing you. Yep, some people feel that sex is evil, therefore your lover must be evil. Yeah, that's a load of crap, but it is out there.
This can do real damage to your lover as they will most likely get the name and general location out of you. Zealots on a mission sadly seem to be able to hurt astral realm beings fairly easily. So if it does slip out, tell your lover to flee, at least for a while. You really don't want to see what an angry lover could do to his and your enemies, as he will see them. This goes double if you chose a God, Goddess, or so forth.
Myself, I don't care if you are in love with a dragon, an animal spirit, or anyone or anything else. Love comes in all forms. But a lot of pagans aren't so open-minded. Now I don't want you to ever feel ashamed of your lover, of course not. You should be proud of a healthy relationship.
But you do have to live in two worlds. The one you share with your lover, and the so-called "real" world. It can hurt to pretend that ring is just a pretty, or that the altar for your sweetness is just art, or some other lame explanation. But it is worth it to live in peace and not have some dang fool try to save you.
It didn't work out
Then it is time for one last meeting. Explain to your lover why it hasn't worked for you. Be honest If you want someone else, or just don't love him, tell him. Let him talk and don't interrupt his reasons to stay together. Be open here. Make sure you both get to put all your feelings out in the open. If you both agree to your leaving then do so on a friendly basis.
Of course he may be the one leaving you. Let him. Lincoln freed the slaves, you know. This is just proof that love and friendship also have to be present. If you can't stand one another outside the bedroom , well, you know the drill.
That said, I know. Sometimes we argue like all get out with our lovers and they leave. Sometimes you need to do what you need to do to get them back if that is the case. Though with the spirit they are free to refuse to return to you.
That's one of those hard lessons you don't understand until you are going through it. Trust me, just agree with whatever your lover on whatever are arguing over. It really isn't worth it to be right and alone.
He won't go away
You've been nice and said goodbye, but there he is. If you really want to be rid of him now you can ask the Goddess for help. Explain to her the reasons you want him to go away and She will help you if you are reasonable. No, She won't help if you are just bored with him. But if love is truly not there for both of you, she will remove him. Letting him stay would be cruel, not kind, so make sure you do this. He has to be free to find someone who truly does love him.
And no, She ain't taking him away because you just hit him in the forehead with the ring he gave you. Honestly she is not your marriage ref. But if you really want to eject him or her, try banishing or binding. But remember this is not the same as throwing a human lover/wife/husband out of the house.
If that lover feels you are the wrong party, they may never come back. Or they might come back and trash the place.
PLEASE NOTE: A nagging, nasal voice is asking me to point something out: sometimes a spirit won't go away because they love you and you are just being stubborn. There's a difference between a lover who cares enough to stay and a creepazoid, I figure you know which is which.
Of course then he stands behind you and dictates advice too...and yes, he's the one who got bonked in the noggin with a ring because I'm a real she-devil when I'm angry. But then, he has a temper to match mine, and he's kinda cute when he is shouting at the top of his lungs and slipping back into pidgin English. Love you to bits, honey.
There. Now his picture is here and he can hush. I love the man, but I swear.
Heavy Metal Banishing
Mmm, things not working out? Well, I'll never show you how to call something up without getting rid of it. This ritual uses dark energy. This is good energy related to darkness. If that idea scares you don't go poking around the astral realm in the first place. Because sooner or later you will find something you don't like. And it won't like you either.
Now you are going to need some good metal, goth, cyber, industrial, whatever. It has to be dark and feel you with a sense of dark power. It is the jarring percussion that evil despises. It works on the same principle as beating a drum, or hanging wind chimes. But let's face it. This way is a lot more fun. Make sure you have your sacred spot. You don't need candles or inscense. You are drawing on positive darkness, and darkness needs no help from the light. But if you insist, something related to banishing would be fitting.
Center yourself, then start the music. Make sure it is loud, the louder the better. Imagine a orb or egg of blackness surrounding you. Let it draw out all your pain, all your sorrow, all your fear. You need to get rid of all of that before you move on. Groovy? Good. Now let the music strengthen you, but keep that shield up. Feel the power wash over you, making you strong enough to fight. Let that power build inside of you until you can feel it crackling through your body. You may even feel your eyes change.
Now harness the power of that darkness, let it build into a tremendous reserve. Release it in dark waves, knives, or a spreading orb. Trust me, this will flat out destroy anything evil in your house and in your head.
This works even better if used with a dark God or Goddess. Think of Anubis, the Morrigan, or Hecate. Once you get good enough, you'll be able to draw this banishing power up at any time. Just remember to cause pain and misery. That evil thing deserves to suffer for crossing you. And if you don't hurt it, or kill it, it will be back.
Oh yes, if you get good enough you can kill astral nasties with this ritual. If you want revenge and want to prolong this, be my guest. Remember no good witch fears the night. We embrace the power of the velvety darkness as much as we embrace the moon.
Mmm, dig in and enjoy honey!
- The Art of conjuring spirits
A haven of information on many aspects of Witchcraft, Wicca, Pagan, Shamanism, The Occult, Sabats, Magick, Magic, Spells, Book of Shadows, Divination, Psychic, Astrology ect
Being Sought Out - Or: My, you're popular!
Thanks to Aryn for pointing this out.
Sometimes a being from the astral realm will seek you out. This could be a ghost, a Vodoun spirit, even a divinity or other being. Now some people will find this very exciting, and some people will run the heck away, figuring this is just too heavy for them.
As lovers in general do make excellent guardians you might be all set to jump in with both feet. But I'd certainly advise getting to know your potential lover first. I mean, yes, sometimes things happen in dreams, but if he or she wants to be an item, get to know one another for gosh sakes.
Also, can't stress this enough: if you feel a creepy vibe, just say no. The majority of astral realm folks are pretty cool, but there are a few narfy ones out there. If you feel you are just getting used, say no, just like you would to an earthly lover.
Oh, for those being courted by lovers they've been told not to take for whatever reason? As long as you know you are truly loved, go for it. So many people give you blah blah about not taking a lover from whatever realm, or that certain beings can't be lovers to earthly humans.
As long as you are both consenting adults and care for one another, go for it. Witches and pagans after all tend to do as we please, never mind those who would tell us otherwise. Comes from all that walking between worlds, talking to the dead, and casting magical spells. Yeah we rule.
Books For Lovers - Oh my!
These books will give you a wealth of info on finding, selecting and keeping that astral lover happy.
The Best Explanation I've Ever Heard
OK she uses ault words a lot. So adults only, OK? This isn't meant as adivce, just an explination.
A Word About Sex and Sex Magic
Sex to most witches and pagans is seen as natural. After all, we all came from the Great Rite, and many religions have had a Divine Coupling create all that is. It doesn't matter if you are hetro, gay, bi, or anything else. All positive sexual energy is a gift from the Goddess and God.
Note, negative energy happily attaches evil beings to the actor. Which is why rapists and child molesters get 'hurt' in prison.
Yes, sexual magic is real. There are a lot of types, but each has the aim to raise and control sexual energy and the climax for a magical aim. I really don't suggest telling anyone you do healings this way, but they will work.
You can do solo, which works well, and let's you pick your own aim. There are books with formal spells and how to set up the evening, but I trust you to know what you are doing.
Couples will have to agree what to raise the energy for, and both must work towards that goal. Conflicting needs will cancel one another or get, well, mixed up. As both will be cast at once.
More that two people? Well it is hard to get a group of people to end anything at the same time, but it should work.
Remember to always wear protection and choose your intent carefully. Also don't forget your intent midway.
Yes, single folk can find astral lovers that will agree to...help.
Yes, you can use adult aids. That's what they're there for, hon.
Things Won't Be Easier
My good friend bloomingrose made an excellent point in the comments. A lover from the astral realm isn't any less complicated than a human one. If anything, they can have more issues. Being immortal, if they do love you, they can be at an impasse.
Do they love you, and take you to themselves, or do they refuse to interfere and rob you of the experience of life here on Earth? Now I know, if you are truly in love, you don't want to hear that, but a good lover will be uneasy about it at times.
Reincarnation aside, we humans only get so much time here, only so many days and years. When we take an astral lover we willingly forgo a lot of those things. You are, in the eyes of your lover, giving up the things you deserve.
A mortal spouse, children, so forth and so on. He or she can never walk by your side in a way anyone else would ever notice (well, a witch might) and they know the world is going to lock you away if they ever find out. So you'll have to live in two realities at least.
The one where you are with your beloved, and the one where you are single and everyone pities you. Your lover might even try to push you towards these things, despairing that s/he can't give you even the most basic things any human could.
You have to be tough. You have to be willing to fight for the one you love, no matter how many times you have to. I've noticed that if you point out a lover from the astral realm could give them things you never do, the reaction is one of pure horror.
But do know that you will have issues, and every lover brings his or her own to the table. You have to be willing to face them together and never give up. Be truthful and admit if there are things that do hurt, such as not being able to walk wherever you please with your lover in a mortal form by your side.
If you are both truthful your love will endure. It is a challenge, and a lifelong one at that if you marry. But when you've found the right one, the one you'd die to protect, the one you'd live for, it is all worth it.
I know whereof I speak. I had to go and fall in love with my lifetime companion, my best friend and soulmate. Someone an entire religion says I can't have. But I never did listen to organized religions too well, and had in the end to choose him over them.
Post questions, thoughts and experiences here.