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Difficult People: 10 Tips to Save Your Sanity

Updated on December 13, 2010

You’ve experienced it. Perhaps with a coworker, a neighbor, or even a relative. You try to get along with the bully to keep the peace, but they always manage to get under your skin and you react, sometimes not so nicely.

You avoid them as much as possible. But for those times when you have no choice, we offer the suggestions below to help you handle them peacefully and from the perspective of a mystic rather than allowing them to add more stress to your life or worse.

1) Consider why they are difficult: Usually there’s at least one hidden reason. Frequently, very difficult people have endured early life trauma, are currently coping with deep personal challenges and, or have drug and alcohol problems, to name a few possible issues. To make things worse, we believe many such people, during times of duress, are negatively influenced by dark energy—-call it demonic possession or influence if you want, or extreme subconscious defenses and fears surfacing--whatever it is, our findings tell us that often times it’s very difficult for some people to see beyond themselves and understand how their actions are negatively influencing those around them.

2) Acceptance: Once you put yourself in their shoes and understand the “why,” it’s easier to have at least a little compassion for them, see them as damaged goods, and not take their actions so personally.

3) Drop expectations: Don’t expect them to treat you well or even reasonably. It’s not your right to control anyone. You can try to help someone become more aware of their behavior and the consequences, but you cannot change them.

4) Retain your dignity: When you react adult-like with a reasonable tone, confidence, and compassion, there will be no reason for anyone to blame you for any disharmony. This may enrage a difficult person who’s intent is to control you or make you lower yourself to their level, but keep your cool and you will come out on top.

5) Think before speaking: It’s better to say nothing than to react without thinking when you’re upset. You can always follow up later with a tactful e-mail after you’ve thought it through.

6) Remain positive: A difficult person loves to target those he or she believes are opposing their views, weak, happy, or whatever else sets them off. But if you avoid letting them drag you into their misery, they can’t help but eventually see the errors of their ways. Let them be and all will be seen in the Light of truth eventually.

7) Limit the alcohol and take steps to moderate excessive stress through good sleep, exercise, and watching your diet. Inner demons come out to play under the influence or when you’re worn down mentally or physically, so watch your step.

8) Be grateful for the opportunity. It may seem odd to be grateful for toxic people, but expressing gratitude will make it much easier to rise above the situation. Also, think of all you gain from difficult people, such as patience, compassion, how not to treat others and excellent negotiating skills.

9) Arm yourself spiritually. Not to battle, but to protect yourself and encourage peace and harmony. Spiritual help is available to you whenever you need it, but you need to ask. We like to call upon Archangels Michael and Sandalphon to stand on either side of us as body guards, but you can utilize God or other angels and guides. Make sure to request that they be “of the Light,” or you could just stir up more trouble.

10) Avoid revenge: We realize it may sometimes seem easier to use an aggressive warrior approach with the jerks of the world, but since you don’t want to create negative karma, you’ll be better off playing the adult role and simply allowing them to act like children. Our findings firmly show karma exists, so even if they don’t get caught, they will get what’s coming to them eventually, most likely in a future life. You don’t want to have to incarnate again with this person, do you?

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo


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    • pennyofheaven profile image


      8 years ago from New Zealand

      Such wise tips! Thanks again!

    • Enlydia Listener profile image

      Enlydia Listener 

      8 years ago from trailer in the country

      great information and food for thought...blessings

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      With the best a will I can't on with people. I don't why but they always turn on me. By now I am a hermitand I happy. Hubpages gives me a lot of pleasure.

    • msorensson profile image


      8 years ago

      When one has an immediate perception of the situation, the ego says to dismiss this person as being frivolous.

      Compassion says this person is being difficult to you because he was or is in pain, either emotionally or physically or psychically and needs more understanding, therefore the lesson is that of compassion when faced with such situations.

      I love your suggestions, especially number 10. It is the most immediate human reaction.

      Thanks, Scott.

    • AlexK2009 profile image


      8 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland

      Also keep a note of interactions with these people just in case they start causing trouble with third parties. Also remember if you agree verbally ( without commitment to anything) you give them nothing to bite on, and you do not need to keep any promises or keep them the way they expect, lat alone go beyond the minimum. Be careful about tactful emails: poorly phrased they can be used against you.

    • VioletSun profile image


      8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      Very spiritually aware and wise tips! Revenge is thankfully not part of my makeup, never has been, but stepping back and detaching, I still need more work.

      Voted up!


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