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Spirituality, Forgiving, and Letting go: 10 Tips to Free Yourself From Resentment

Updated on February 8, 2013

One of the most beneficial things you can do for your emotional well- being is to forgive. Forgive everyone who has ever hurt you, let you down, ripped you off, and anyone you perceive as the “enemy.”

Why? Because holding on to resentment toward someone depletes your energy, delays spiritual progression and growth, and makes your life more stressful. Forgiveness will not make you let your guard down, make you overly-vulnerable, or allow the troublemaker to continue hurting you if you don’t want it to. In fact, it will make you stronger and possibly even protect you from further harm.

Below are 10 tips to help you forgive and let go.

1) It’s important to note that forgiveness is a process. It doesn’t usually happen overnight. Commit to it and eventually the negative feelings will fade.

2) If you’re having trouble forgiving someone, try the following exercise. Meditate on the situation and person and visualize them in front of you. Explain why you’re upset, then tell them you forgive them. Notice the reaction you perceive them to have. Do this until you can feel your forgiveness, and remember it’s not for them, but for you. Every time you think of the person express forgiveness to them.

3) Try to view the situation from their viewpoint and consider all the possible reasons why they acted as they did (such as experiences in their childhood, lack of awareness, emotional or mental instability, neurosis, possession, etc.). Try to feel compassion for them, though at first it may seem easier to turn water into wine.

4) Accept that whatever happened may be something you chose, on a karmic, spiritual level, to experience. Take responsibility for your part of what happened “to you.”

5) Realize that if you don’t forgive them, guess who you’ll get to come back with in a future life for another round? That should help you let go of the resentment more quickly.

6) Realize that they will get what’s coming to them eventually, even if it doesn’t appear so to you. Our findings indicate that karma often doesn’t return to someone until future lifetimes. You do not have to, and should not attempt to assist this process, by the way. If you do, you will create more negative karma for yourself. Revenge with no apparent consequences may have been a popular theme in the 80s show Dynasty, but unlike in TV-land, vengeance comes with a heavy spiritual price in the real world.

7) Life is demanding. Instead of targeting someone with animosity and creating more tension and trauma, try other activities like meditation, exercise, watching funny movies, or doing something nice for someone.
Lighten up and let it go. Life is too magnificent to waste it being angry.

8) Forgive, but don’t forget. Be compassionate, yet stand your ground.

9) Remember to forgive yourself. It’s amazing how many people have managed to forgive others, but have not found the self-love to forgive themselves.

10) Go through the following list and forgive everyone. Feel the forgiveness. Express the forgiveness. Remember, it’s not for them. This is for you.

Forgive the following: your parents for ignoring or smothering you; your mom for embarrassing you; siblings for being too hard on you; your sister for hitting on your high school boyfriend that strife-generating coworker; the office ass-kisser; the office tattle-tale; the office opportunist; the office back-stabber; bosses who took advantage of your
loyalty; the guy who fired you; the gal who didn’t hire you; neighbors for being nosy; neighbors for violating your right to peace and quiet; your
neighbor’s dog for crapping in your yard; relatives for making your life a living hell; your obnoxious aunt; your funny but annoying uncle; the father of your first girlfriend; your former lovers; the date who stood you up; the date who slandered your good reputation; extreme liberals; those who refuse to separate Church and state; Christians; Muslims;
politicians who are fiscally irresponsible; extreme conservatives; anyone who discriminates based on sexual orientation; anyone who discriminates based; on race; anyone who discriminates based on
nationality; republicans; democrats; God, for laughing when you announce your plans; your higher-self for being so bold on the other side; dark entities--they dislike, are repelled by forgiveness; demons, for trying to bring you down; Wall Street hustlers; U.S. Congress big government; reckless government; Bin Laden; CNN News; FOX News; CNBC News; ABC News; CBS News; MSNBC News; biased media reporting; dishonest media reporting; biased reporters who have a political agenda; Katie Couric; Sarah Palin; Barack Obama; terrorists; corrupt politicians; gang-bangers; Barney Frank; Al Gore; radical environmentalists; eco-terrorists; polluters; Chris Dodd; Chris Cox; Bernie Madoff; George W. Bush; Hillary Clinton; Rush Limbaugh; Bill Clinton; classmates from high school and grade school; the economically ignorant; wealth destruction advocates; the teacher who embarrassed you; the stock market; rich people; poor people; the mob; bigots; hypocrites; affirmative action advocates; ignorant people;
intolerant people; critical people; jealous people; judgmental people; gays; bis; straights; blacks; whites; Asians; Latinos; Native Americans; Indians; Chinese; Japanese; Thais; Middle Easterners; Russians;
Canadians; S. Americans; C. Americans; Africans; S. Africans; Europeans; stingy people; spendthrifts; animals; teachers; priests; ministers; nuns; gamblers; alcoholics; smokers; people who toss cigarette butts out of their cars; drug addicts; loud mouths; the woman who talks way too loudly on her cell phone; the guy behind you on that flight who wouldn’t shut up; cops; cop killers; those who disrespect military personnel; those who hate Americans; criminals; and finally, yourself.

That’s a lot to forgive, and we’re sure you can think of others you could forgive. But you can do it, and think how much more energy you’ll have to make the most of your life after you do.

“Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.” - Pamela Daranjo

Copyright © Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo

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