As a Christian married man is it a sin to lust in my heart for my wife?

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  1. Edwinoel Tanglao profile image60
    Edwinoel Tanglaoposted 7 years ago

    May all be guided that the 'word of God,' Jesus being the 'word,' tells the husband to 'love his wife as God loves His church.' 

    They become 'one flesh' with Christ as center, in sacred matrimony. 

    Nobody should divide them, not even the devil where 'ego' becomes the transport. In 'true love' with the wife, comes true love in God's church.

    Does anyone feel the spirit of the devil dividing those who are blessed by God?

    If malice remains in our heart, then we may have married with malice, not with the love of God.

    As it is, in 'true love' there is passion in the flesh, just as 'true love' tells us to be passionate in our love for God, as it is in serving in church, where as a true servant leader, we have to serve in truth. 

    It is 'unconditional love' that leads us to 'true love,' willing to love and forgive, where perfection of our love comes when we have 'no fear,' for with Christ, there should be no malice and selfishness in our hearts, therefore, no lust.

    In 'true faith,' God consecrates us with His body and blood in the power of the Holy Eucharist, His blood in intermixed with ours, with Him then, we become 'one flesh.'

    In the 'breaking of the bread' we become one body with Christ.

    With Him and abiding in His words we remain abiding in God's will, that in all these, in the pureness of our love for our wife, is not God telling us to love others the same way, in the pureness of our hearts, guiding the astray to what is true in His 'word?'

    Blessings to all, that in Christ's shining light within our being, as we may live in His Spirit, husbands may become true to the wife, and true to others as well as God loves His church, whence, are we not then loving the gospel? 

    Blessed is he who takes time time to spread the good news that more may be saved, to be one with Christ.

  2. marcelocarcach profile image91
    marcelocarcachposted 7 years ago

    I think it is normal, natural, and good for a man to feel sexually attracted to his wife. However, there seems to be a disconnect between you and her in that you feel it necessary to pleasure yourself while thinking about her. Why can't you share that energy with her? Is there something stopping you from sharing those thoughts and those moments with her? My concern also is that you call it "lust," as if the feeling is so dominant that you are not in control of it. However, one of the fruits of the Spirit is self-control. In the end, the question is this: are you living according to the Spirit, or are you being led by your flesh. How would you respond to this?

  3. Kiss andTales profile image60
    Kiss andTalesposted 7 years ago

    We must be balance in all things even in love.
    Adam loved Eve, so much he listened to her voice of betrayal against thier Father who created both of them.
    So there is healthy love , and there exist the opposite.
    But It is written you are to love your wife as self, also many scriptures that support romantic feelings for her.
    Ec 9:9 Enjoy life with your beloved wife all the days of your futile life, which He has given you under the sun, all the days of your futility, for that is your lot in life and in your hard work at which you toil under the sun.

    Pr 5:19 A loving doe, a graceful mountain goat. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times. May you be captivated by her love constantly.

    Surly you are not sinning because you love your wife.
    But we should never be unbalanced as Adam was who lost paradise forever.

    1. Pacesetter Abbey profile image42
      Pacesetter Abbeyposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hmmm... So how would you define "unbalanced" ?

    2. Kiss andTales profile image60
      Kiss andTalesposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Unbalanced as the example of  Adam , he was created first without a mate for awhile,the point is his loyalty was standing firm then that he did not touch the forbidden fruit, yet having a mate was a wonderful gift from God, was his loyalty to change

  4. DebraHargrove profile image63
    DebraHargroveposted 7 years ago

    That is really great to hear.  I have never heard the expressing on lusting for a spouse.  Being a Christian your feelings are created by God which includes lust.  Multiplying the earth due to lust for your wife is good.  You are blessing the future of this earth with more Christians by multiplying the earth.  So Lust on.

  5. gconeyhiden profile image63
    gconeyhidenposted 7 years ago


  6. Eldercurk profile image68
    Eldercurkposted 7 years ago

    A man's desire shall be for  his wife, this desire is not wrong in God's sight.

  7. profile image0
    True Havenposted 7 years ago

    first of all, lust is a sin. in addition, a wife is more than an avenue for sexual gratification; she is a companion, a confidant, the mother of your children, an adviser, etc. therefore, allowing lust into your heart gradually leads you to think of her only in terms of sex. as a result, you end up 'devaluing' her; she becomes a sex object.

  8. Jenny Talaver profile image58
    Jenny Talaverposted 7 years ago

    Lusting after your wife is natural because you are attracted to her. It is not a sin because you are married - marriage bonds you more than any other human relationship can. All the more, it is not a sin because you are lusting after your own wife, not another woman. It simply means that you want to be with her often and nurture your bond in such intimacy that celebrates your love and married life.

  9. Man from Modesto profile image79
    Man from Modestoposted 7 years ago

    "Pleasuring oneself" is a spirit. If you have this spirit, then using the visual of your wife will not satisfy it forever. Demons like to escalate. Before actions, you should expect thoughts about it. Be very careful in this.
    If you have sufficient strength to limit your fantasizing to your wife, you are probably strong enough to quit altogether. That is certainly the better situation.

    1. Edwinoel Tanglao profile image60
      Edwinoel Tanglaoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      When you have d light, sin in darkness is overcome, it is d words of God that filters, to know in our spirit what is 'good and evil.'  With God's words, come our justification, that husband n wife are made 'one flesh.' God's words conquer all evil,

  10. iggy7117 profile image89
    iggy7117posted 7 years ago

    When you are married I feel it is desire for your wife rather then lust, you should want your wife.. And only your wife.

  11. recappers delight profile image70
    recappers delightposted 7 years ago

    God gave us our sexual impulses for procreation, and he set up the institution of marriage in order for procreation to occur within a stable environment that will give the baby a fair chance of survival and emotional support as he or she grows to maturity. Lusting for your wife is precisely what God intended for that particular emotion. In your situation, it's not only not sinful, it's downright holy. Congratulations on your happiness!

  12. profile image56
    eternalbeingsposted 7 years ago

    You lust after her because you love her so very much! By no means is that a sin! That wonderful!

  13. profile image0
    LoliHeyposted 7 years ago

    You are allowed to lust for your wife!  You should be lusting for her!  Something would be terribly wrong if you weren't.

  14. tamarawilhite profile image87
    tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

    No, she's the one woman you are allowed to lust after.

  15. emge profile image81
    emgeposted 6 years ago

    Christianity is a religion covered by a lot of prudery. There are all sorts of injunctions and yet the divorce and extra marital sex rates are highest in the world in Christian nations
    I dont see how lusting for ones wife is bad.. Its part of nature and my view is that lusting for a woman is by itself a human trait and cannot be supressed

  16. Anjili profile image60
    Anjiliposted 6 years ago

    Actually, you are not lusting but just appreciating her. Keep it up but never look at my wife that way. That is what The Book says

  17. profile image0
    hubber8893posted 6 years ago

    I would like to give my oppinion in a general way rather than being religious which you can find below :
    "It will be wrong if you lust for other women, You and your wife are a single entity for others. What happens between you and her never makes the society or anyone else feeling hateful to you if she is not uncomfortable in it."

  18. El Shaddai 2016 profile image59
    El Shaddai 2016posted 6 years ago

    Not at all my brother.  She is your wife.  Enjoy her!

  19. Louis Rabaud profile image61
    Louis Rabaudposted 6 years ago

    Re: The Above:
    I must admit that this is a very good point and a very difficult question to answer by any means. As a Christian myself, I think that a married man or his wife should have some feeling for one another. And that feeling should not go to the extreme. Which means, that we had been warned about the forbidden sex or fornication. Here, I'm referring about respect to our body, which is of course the temple of God in some ways. Don't forget, that our body is the temple of God since we received the Holy Spirit when we had been baptized.  As Christians, everything we do in our lives should be in proper manner and civilized. When we are married, our body becomes one. And every thing we do, should be done with reason. I believe that there is a difference between desire and lust. Desire is the  wish of something or long for.  Whereas, lust is more or less sexual appetite, excessive or restrained. I always wonder; as whether a kiss is a forbidden act! But I do believe, that a man and a woman who been married should have feeling for each other. And both of them must feel wanted at times. And that feeling is not lust anymore; because in the eyes of God, they are man and wife and they are not living in sin. Their cuddling each other, their touch and go don't count as sin. But they have to keep their action clean with no sign of fornication or forbidden sex.
    Thank you!
    Louis Rabaud

    1. Kiss andTales profile image60
      Kiss andTalesposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Great answer !

    2. Edwinoel Tanglao profile image60
      Edwinoel Tanglaoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      God allows marriage for good fruits to multiply.  Husband and wife are made one flesh that man and woman may be faithful to one another, whence, avoid adultery.  Faithfulness n loving in truth, w respect to one another comes godliness, sans malice

  20. Syrup Please profile image58
    Syrup Pleaseposted 6 years ago

    I've asked myself that question too but when Christ preaches that lust is a sin, he does so by showing it is an internal version of adultery as it is says in Matthew 5:27-28. So my answer is no. Being with your wife is not committing adultery therefor "lusting" for her is not either however I don't think the term lust even applies here.

  21. Harms profile image63
    Harmsposted 6 years ago

    1Th 4:3-5  God wants you to be holy and completely free from sexual immorality.  Each of you should know how to live with your wife in a holy and honorable way,  not with a lustful desire, like the heathen who do not know God.
    The Bible is so crystal clear on this. .."not with lustful desire.."
    Yet in other places it is made clear that a man shall have a normal desire for intimacy with his own wife.
    It is of extreme importance not to lay one's own interpretations in the scriptures. They are perfect just as they are given by God himself.

  22. Live to Learn profile image61
    Live to Learnposted 4 years ago

    Most women would agree that it would be best not to marry a man who put a lot of tortured thought into this.



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