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Keys To Building a Good Self Image
This lens is about a biblical and practical look at the importance of a good self image. The Bible says in the book of Romans that a man (women,boy,girl) are not to think of themselves more highly than they ought to think, but to be sober (balanced).When a person begins to see themselves more than others, this is called pride...and the bible says that pride always precedes a fall; but on the other hand ...a person should not have a low self-esteem neither because they will never achieve in life what belongs to them. The book of Numbers gives the story of the children of Israel about to enter into their inheritence (Canaan). God had promised them that it was theirs to occupy, but when the twelve spys who spied out the land saw giants...they saw themselves as grasshoppers and never inherited what God said was theirs! People will see you the way that you see yourself and treat you the way you treat yourself. One person said that he received a gift from someone and when he opened it...he saw that it was a beautiful sweater. He thanked the person and asked why they had spent so much money on the sweater...and the reply was they would not think of buying anything cheap because they never saw him wearing anything cheap. This man had a healthy self-image and people responded by treating him the way that he had treated himself.
A good self Image begins with loving yourself
Jesus said to love your neighbor as you love yourself...but the world is full of people who don't love themselves,thereby making it difficult to love others. people may not feel good about themselves because of self talk that began at an early age.Things a person has spoken to themselves after a failure...repeating what a parent has spoken...or even degrading themselves for not even trying...all of this self talk is buried within the sub-conscience of a person and rears its ugly head up whenever challenges,painful experiences, etc occur.The bible says that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, which means a person really believes what they are saying is true even if it is not. Your belief system must be replaced with another belief system...and that is where saying what God says in His word about you is vitally important.
Love Suffers Long:
First Corinthians chapter number thirteen in the bible is referred to as the love chapter. In verse number four it states that Charity (love) suffereth long; Suffereth in the original Greek language means to be patient; to patiently endure...and the word patient or patience means to be consistently the same. When a person loves themselves...they will not allow people, circumstance or life's situations to dictate or alter how they consistently feel about themselves.People who do not have a good self image may allow these things to alter how they feel about themselves.Many times one can be patient with others ,but find it hard to be patient with themselves basically because they already have a bad self image due to past failure and disappointment. Having a consistent attitude of love toward ourselves even in the midst of problems and trying times helps us to endure the problems. Endurance builds strength and character just as a weight lifter uses resistance against their body to build strength...and the more they endure the weights...the more they begin to increase their body sculpture and metabolism. The weight lifter is not abusing themselves because of a bad self image...but rather they are enduring the hardship because they love themselves and want to do what's helpful for the body. The resistance that comes against a person in the form of problems will only benefit as the person has a good self image and uses the the problems to benefit and grow from them. God uses this same concept because we read in Romans 8:28...for we know that all things (good and bad) work together for good to those who love the Lord, and to them who are the called according to his purpose.When a person loves the Lord...he teaches them how to love themselves. Loving yourself also means to endure life's problems and not tolerate them. A person cannot change what they tolerate because they have learned how to survive instead of overcome. A person with a good self image will find ways to change their circumstances because they have learned to change for the better...while a person with a bad self image refuses to change their circumstance... because they refuse to change. Many times they end up in a cycle of doing the same thing expecting different results.
Be Kind To Yourself
Love is kind
Charity is also kind which in the Greek language means to be benevolent; gentle... while Webster says that the word kind means to be sympathetic; friendly; gentle; benevolent and generous. To have a good self image through love...one must learn to be sympathetic (not pathetic) toward oneself. This means to share or understand the feelings of another. A person who loves themselves and that have a good self image will not find it hard to agree with others who say nice things about them, or comment them...while a person with a bad self image finds it hard. They deny themselves the opportunity to feel good about themselves... or they just find it hard to believe the nice comments because of so much negative information in the file drawer of their mind.A person must also be a friend to themselves...but many times they can be their own worst enemy because of negative self-talk and other harsh realities.Third...a person must learn to be generous to themselves. A person with a bad self image can be generous toward others and not have a problem...but then feel guilty at the thought of buying something for themselves. They may feel as though they do not deserve anything... or that what was spent on them could have been used for something or someone else they feel was better deserving of it than themselves.People who are benevolent are generous and cheerful givers and they in return are cheerful receivers. People with a bad self image may find it hard to receive because they may feel as though they never have anything of value to give. The sowing and reaping principle of God according to Galatians 6:9 is whatsoever a man sows...that shall he also reap. If you sow love...expect to receive love; if you sow friendship...expect friends in return; if you sow finance...expect to receive finance in return. A person who finds it hard to receive...may find it hard to give.
The Concept Of Success following persistence must begin early as possible
Successes equal a good self image
The difference between good and bad self images... are that the good feel good enough about themselves to get back up after failure ...while the bad are not surprised at another failure. They simply add it to a long list of other failures. It is very important that a person begin celebrating their successes because successes are building blocks toward a good self image... and a good self image is vital in visualizing success in the midst of failure. A person with a good self image sees failure as stepping stones toward success. Learn to finish what you start...to not give up...to be persistent until you have reached your goal. The parable spoken by Jesus in Luke 18 illustrates this principle of persistence. There was an unjust judge who did not fear God or regard man...and there was a widow in that city; She already had two strikes against her because of the judge having no regard...and her relationship...she was a widow. These would be great excuses for individuals with low self-esteem, to not even dare approach the judge, "but opportunities" for people with a good self image and who know who they are. She approaches the judge and asks him to avenge her of her adversary...she is direct and to the point unlike a person with low self-esteem...who may only ask for what they have a better chance of getting... because of the fear of rejection. Verse 4 says and he would not (not could not) for awhile. Failure does not mean it will not happen...it just may not happen through a certain person, or a certain time frame, etc...but a person with a low self-esteem will never know if they quit and give up. The widow was successful in her endeavor because she was persistent in spite of continual rejection and this text is a lesson in persevering prayer...to not give up until success is evident.
Success is having wise people around in vulnerable moments:
Jesus had a good self image which means he knew who he was...he knew where he was...and he knew where he was going. This good self image began early when he was a baby. One of his traumatic experiences was that of Herod the king seeking to kill him. Had he not had wise parents who were wise because of their ability to hear and follow Gods direction...he would have been killed. Young children today must have wise parents and adults around at their most vulnerable moments to stop character assassination and such that kill a child's influence and affluence before their life ever gets started. For adults the bible instructs that a wise man attains unto wise counsels...which means a person should not seek advice or help from someone worse than themselves. But birds of a feather do flock together and many people hang out with people who have the same views...the same interests...same fears...same bad self image...and they can never excel because they can see no farther than themselves.
Ideas are developed about ones capabilities
Focus on what you do well
Every person has something that they can do well...and this falls in the category of gifts talents and abilities. It can include a good personality (important in the business world) a sense of humor, etc. Something that stands out from everyone else...even if it's the same gift talent or ability because you are unique and no one can do it like you.Take for example... all of the great content written on Squidoo... people who are intimidated don't see what they have to offer because of their bad self image... and never even contribute their own unique thoughts and ideas. No one has your fingerprint or voice print and this is one reason why we should all have a good self image. Proverbs 18:16 says that a mans gift makes room for him and brings him before great men...every movie star, athlete, musician has perfected what they could do... and their gift, talent, and ability brought them before great men (those who could take them to the next level). Confident people who are confident at what they do (a good self image) must not become afraid of success when it happens or they will remain in the same place. It is also important to understand the importance of good character along with ability and gifting, because even though gifting brings one before great men...only character can keep them there. No one wants to be around people with a bad attitude, no matter how gifted they may be. Many people with a bad self image may also have bad character to go along with it while the opposite is true for a person with a good self image.
Try new things
Risk equal reward
Trying new things and succeeding produces confidence, a sense of accomplishment, pride, etc... all that is necessary for a good self image. Without being willing to step out and experience something new...one may simply remain ordinary, when they were meant to be extraordinary... and never experience the excitement that life has to offer. Stepping out and trying something new is like the bible story of Peter who stepped off the boat and walked on the water. Many people are not willing to try new things because of fear, uncertainty, unwillingness to learn and prepare, procrastination, to name a few. Peter was not the only one on the boat, but he took the initiative to move in spite of not knowing if everything was in place. He said Lord if it be you ...bid me to come on the water, which means he was not even sure if who or what he was talking to was even Jesus. (they thought he was a ghost). A risk would not be a risk if we could see everything in advance, but we must walk by faith and not by sight. Like the disciples...many people remain in the boat of do nothing...they can't see themselves doing it...so they do nothing, they can't see how it can be done...so they do nothing, no one else is trying it...so they do nothing, all excuses for remaining ordinary. Peter experienced what only few ever have...walking on water, and even though he began to sink...he did experience walking on it.
Achievement without love equals a bad self image
The importance of family
Many people continue to have low self-esteem even after great accomplishments because everyone needs to be loved. success without someone to share it with defeats the purpose of what success is really all about. Adam was successful as anyone in the book of Geneses chapter two and three because it was only Him and God...but God said that it was not good for man to be alone, but the question is how was Adam alone when God was with him? Adam needed someone to relate to on a physical level and that was another human being...Eve, the mother of all living. On the other end of the spectrum...love without a sense of achievement also equals low self-esteem. Leah loved Jacob... but Jacob loved Rachael... and Leah being married to Jacob bore one child after another trying to win his love through the accomplishments of child bearing. People with low self-esteem feel that they need something other than themselves and who they really are to make accomplishments. when this did not win his love...she put everything
in proper perspective by putting God into the equation. She bears one more child and names him Judah (praise) for she said Now I will just praise the Lord. Putting the Lord first (Matthew 6:33) in every endeavor,is needed... to ensure a good self image.
behaviors exibiting a bad self image
Negative self talk
- Low tolerance for frustration (giving up easy)
- Not wanting to try new things
- See temporary setbacks as permanent
- May make permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances
Tips for having a good self image
Speak positive about yourself
- Identify and redirect inaccurate beliefs
- Contribute to others by helping them
- Be spontaneous and affectionate (show love)
- engage in activities encouraging cooperation rather than competition
Causes of low self-esteem
- Bad experiences
- Body Image
- Standards that are set to high to accomplish for oneself