How to Escape from Yourself
What Do You Do When You Annoy Yourself?
You know it's bad when you get on your own nerves. Yet this happens to me all the time. I do things that I don't want to do and I don't do the things I want. When someone else annoys me, I can normally block them out or just walk away. But it's quite frustrating when the someone you want to avoid is yourself. How do you get away from yourself? How do you block out your thoughts? How to you avoid yourself when you are in "that mood" that is so obnoxious or frustrating? I finally found the solution.
How To Get Further From Yourself
Many times we see people and think "Wow, they seem to have it all together." Yet if you were to talk with them they would tell you that they have all sorts of quirks and issues. And if you get to know anyone well enough, you'll soon discover they are far from perfect. How much more is that with ourselves.
Many people would think I've got it all together, and although I'm a far cry from where I was years ago there is still so much work to be done in my life. So often, I lose focus of my priorities or I become self absorbed, selfish, and try to take control of my life and lose sight of God. When this happens, I become intolerable. Most people wouldn't notice right away, but I do. And if I don't check it early on, it becomes more and more obvious. My mouth spouts words without censorship, my anger flares up from the most ridiculous things, and I become snide, snippy, and pessimistic. It's really annoying.
I remember it as clear as day, a few years ago, I was feeling this way. I was so frustrated with how insufficient I was and how often I spit in God's face and either ignore Him or disregard His words. Geoff and I went with his sister and a couple friends to a Pillar concert in a warehouse in Indiana, and they played one of their new songs at the time: Further. I cried. And to this day, it is a great reminder to me, that in order to get further from myself, I need to be closer to God.
Further Lyrics -- Pillar
I'm further, further from myself
When I'm next to you
When I run to you
I was wasted embraced it but faced it
With you inside my heart you replaced it
Can't believe you have erased it
Selfishness and foolish pride
And I admit that when I submit to you
I can see all of the selfish things I do
Further from my future
Further from the past
Further from the starting line
Further from the last
Further from my doubts
Further from my fears
Further from temptation that I faced throughout my years
Further from agitation
Further from distraction
The reaction of the dissatisfaction of others actions
Further from myself
Further from my flesh
Further from my birth
and I'm further from my death