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Living without judgement

Updated on January 19, 2016
brightforyou profile image

Retired counselor, 341 short stories published by FSU. I have 4 sons, love sharing photography, writing, love travel, sunshine, sea & Grace.


One thing we all have in common,

(regardless of our beliefs, skin color, location and economy)

is that we are all going to die.

We live knowing this;

so my hub is directed at how much this understanding

of our finite self

influences how we live our lives.

We find ourselves conscious of our existence

as we know it.

We become a slave

to all we have been told by parents

And their set of standards and values.

Also by the culture and society we grew up in,

and by our own choices

and internal dialogue.

We are also governed by our set of beliefs

which may be religious choices we made,

or some thrust upon us from birth.

These often bring comfort, but can also keep us stuck.

Even our rebellion enslaves us.

We are a mass of preconceived ideas, standards and values

learned as a child, so we can be accepted and loved

by those we need the most.

However, in seeking love and affirmation

outside of ourselves;

We lose contact with our true, authentic self

and the richness of experiencing life's wonder.

This mass of conditioning

(in order to be acceptable)

Becomes our ego

It defines us

And gives structure.

But it also cripples us

And keep us trapped.

We are the both the prisoner

And the jailer.

Sometimes, when some cruelty or tragedy befalls us

We struggle to find meaning.

To understand why we are here, alive and conscious.

Why do we suffer?

Why does life seem unfair and unjust?

We feel these things

because we have identified with our beliefs, standards and values

We have labeled ourselves, others; life's ebb and flow...everything!

The truth is that life is a fluid experience.

As life progresses and we reach a certain age

We become bogged down

with the need to make a living

To raise children

To follow the socially accepted norms.

Occasionally we may question if we are happy

But on the whole most people try to stay busy.

We define ourselves, and our sense of security

By how successful we are...

By our possessions,

circle of friends,



skills and talents.

Or we may by depressed and unmotivated;

full of self-loathing and hate.

This is our ego identity.

We don't always stop and think

about who we really are

why we are here...

and what life is...

Until these values and faulty beliefs are removed

either by death, illness,

loss, or devastation

outside our control.

What is life?

It certainly isn't something we asked for

(not that we can remember).

Therefore, let's imagine that life is a gift, on loan...

Let's also imagine that life

is the greatest gift

That can be bestowed on anything...

Regardless of the circumstances

of birth or design.

A gift given freely and with the bonus of

conscious choice...

it's up to us how we perceive it.

The gift is where we came from

but its not ours to own...

It has the designers imprint

determining when we return it; (death).

Most of us try to control life

In order to feel safe:

But life cannot be controlled.

It doesn't answer to our insecurities

Or our ignorant needs.

In accepting life exactly as it is;

A gift we have for a short time

You set yourself free

To be all you can be.

In turn you enrich life with your uniqueness

Regardless of how long you lived

Or how much you achieved.

So we find ourselves in the middle of a life

Which we have been given.

With all the paraphernalia (or lack)

of worldly security:

We may own homes, cars, businesses,

work jobs, have friends, go to Church,

little league and clubs..

we keep busy, busy, busy.

Rushing around within the concepts

Of how we designed life

(from everything we experienced).

Or we may have nothing

and feel hunger, cold, heat and sickness from birth.

What is life's purpose?

What if the experience, (regardless of birth or design)

Is purpose enough?

What if we didn't have preconceived ideas, standards and values

about how life should be?

What if we didn't have a need

to find affirmation outside of ourselves?

What if we just quietly (for at least a moment or two)

stepped outside of all our conditioning

and stepped into the void?

The void (unconditional love) wherein life exists

without judgmentsand descriptions

and just is.

The void we go back to

when we die.

The void

(that is everything and nothing)

that doesn't see poverty or riches.

Just the heart and soul

of each unique being

contributing to the expansion

of all that is.

Just for today,

I am going to experience my day

without judgment of myself

or others.

I'm going to experience life

on life's terms,

not my own.

Try it!

Its amazing how difficult it is

Not to judge every experience!

We are a mass of programming;

our egos strongly defend

our need to define:

To be right,

to have everything slotted, boxed;

categorized into our tiny database:

Of what we think is right and wrong;

good or bad.

We are constantly berating ourselves

gauging our performances.

Coming up as winner or loser...

Always seeking to find unconditional love

through external affirmation.

Rather than the quiet knowing

that unconditional love

peace and joy

resides in all of us:

Waiting to be experienced...

regardless of our circumstances.

To begin experiencing a peaceful fearless life

You need to let go

and unlearn the programming.

and trust your gut.

Our birthright is unconditional love of self

But we get lost in our egos.

We get lost in the worldly illusions of power,

need and insecurity.

It's such a freeing experience

to recognize this is illusion.

it's great to not always have to be right;

to not always understand.

To just observe and not react.

In this state,

if we ponder life and death,

it becomes a non-judgment:

There is no fear

it just is.

Whilst we are all going to die,

We worry about

the way we will die.

We worry about

the loved ones left behind.

We worry about pain

the loss of control

and ultimately

the loss of self...

But if we begin to experience our life

In a non-judgment, transcendent way,

We can truly live each moment.

knowing that nothing ever dies.

Pain and struggles

can be observed and transcended.

It's impossible not to have existed:

Your imprint is indelibly etched

Into the miracle of existence!

So in knowing and contemplating

this larger picture

Without need of definition...

We are free to just be

To look around

and wonder at nature

To truly experience

and to revel

(despite our situations)

In the awe of that which exists

outside of our ego:

Life in all its glory

is all around you

It is living through you

It has its own rhythm

and meaning.

In stepping into the void,

you step into the truth

of life's unconditional love

for you

and for all that is.

Just for today,

try not letting your preconceived ideas,

standards, values and judgments

live your life for you

in a quiet time,

contemplate the joy and peace

of 'just being'

You will find that

the fear of death...

and living a life for external affirmation

loses its grip.

You will begin to remember

to experience

the true meaning of life;

joy, peace, bliss, harmony, union.

Have a wonder~ful life!

Copyright © 2010


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    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Wendy!

    • Wendy Krick profile image

      Wendy Krick 

      8 years ago from Maryland


    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi Brother Dave, thank you for your comment and your beliefs. It certainly makes sense that we live on in some way... or else, what would be the point?

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      8 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      brightforyou:What you have said here is beautiful. Personally I believe that we are created as spiritual beings, and only live inside these fleshly forms for a brief period in time, until we have accomplished, what we were destined to do. I believe that althohgh our fleshly form ceases to continue to function, that since we are actually spiritual beings, we then revert back to be ing spiritual, and carry on our existances.

      Brother Dave.

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Thank you My Esoteric for your kind comments. I'm glad you were able to read and understand this 'long' and somewhat repetitive piece - I look forward to reading your hubs.

    • My Esoteric profile image

      Scott Belford 

      8 years ago from Keystone Heights, FL

      Beautifully written and wonderful to keep in mind, especially in stressful times. I to appreciate your style as well, very easy to read and even better, to understand.

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi attemptedhumour, I can't live by this either - wish I could... still they always say, we teach what we most need to learn! Cheers!

    • attemptedhumour profile image


      8 years ago from Australia

      Yes i suppose we do get wrapped up in the over-providing world we live in, it's easier to say, make a change, than to implement it. We are renovating a weekender at the moment and too busy to think about how the finished project will impact on our life. I have a strong sense that i am unable to to bring your wise words in to fruition. Being honest that is. It was a good idea o write the way you chose and most readers would appreciate why. Cheers

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi msorensson, thank you for your kind comment - I'm currently traveling around UK and Ireland so just got your message so sorry for tardy response!

    • msorensson profile image


      8 years ago a poem..beautiful. Thank you.

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      hi triosol, thanks so much for stopping by and reading my hub and for your kind comment

    • triosol profile image


      8 years ago

      Wonderful Hub. Voted up

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi cyn791 thank you for your kind comments - I agree, we need to let children teach us the way back to our true selves. Thank you!

    • cyn791 profile image


      8 years ago from Davie,Florida

      beautiful expressed and shared. I hope someday we learn to let the children stay as children so we can follow them back to the place we belong! They get it,like you get it, and then we teach them that they're wrong when they're right!

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Thanks for your comments, carolina muscle

    • carolina muscle profile image

      carolina muscle 

      8 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

      Some beautiful ideas, and well stated!

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi zzron, thanks for your comments - I look forward to reading your hubs!

    • zzron profile image


      8 years ago from Houston, TX.

      This was very thought provoking and a topic that deserves attention. Thank you.

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Thanks for your comments tmgonzalez - its true, we don't need to 'sweat the small stuff' - not sure why we get so caught up in all kinds of nonsense. Your goals are wonderful!

    • tmgonzalez profile image


      8 years ago from Northern CA

      Great thoughts and so true. I've wondered myself why we make such a big deal out of little things that in the end don't mean much. My goal is to be happy, and enjoy my life and my family.

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Thanks petermdhart ~ I think you are right about children - they are nearer to the truth. We grow father away from that the older we get and the more we learn... seems to me we have to stop thinking and just live!

    • petermdhart profile image


      8 years ago from Cornwall, UK

      I'm definitely going to try this. It makes sense. Well-written piece which explains the simplicity of life. After all, it says in the Bible, "Judge not, lest ye be judged" or "Love thy neighbor, AS THYSELF" or "Lest ye be like little children, you cannot enter the kingdom of Heaven." Even very sick kids play and have fun and live in the moment. So this piece was extremely helpful, thank you brightforyou.

    • brightforyou profile imageAUTHOR

      Helen Lewis 

      8 years ago from Florida

      Hi singmomat52 - so glad you enjoyed the hub. Its amazing how we imprison ourselves in our mind. Without judgment or interpretation, life is peaceful, joyful, blissful and each one of us is deeply and fully loved and a part of everything. Our concept of aloneness is only an illusion. Thanks so much for stopping by and your kind comments. Go and have fun "just being!"

    • singlmomat52 profile image


      8 years ago

      Absolutely wonderful Hub!! I loved it! And I am going to try to do just that! Someone once told me 'just take all that love you have inside you and just slather yourself with it, hug yourself'! I believe that in doing that we might get a hint, just a hint, of how much our creator loves us. Thanks for sharing!!


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