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Things us Jews do to throw our Gentile friends off.

Updated on April 17, 2014

Having a little fun with other people's discomfort

There are some of you that are going to probably be offended by this article, but I want to stress that this is all in good fun. MOST of what I talk about here, with a couple exceptions, was done to people I know well and also knew that they would not be anything more than merely a little embarrassed by by what I would do or say to them.

That being said, and out of the way, let me tell you the why, behind my writing this.

It is mostly because I am sometimes amused at why people are occasionally sensitive to my being Jewish. By that, I mean that when they find out, sometimes they immediately take a very careful approach at asking you questions or making any comments, or will even go so far to apologize for something that they suddenly remember that they said two years ago.

This article is dedicate, in all good humor, to those people.

Shalom!

Picture Credit to "Jewish, Religion Word" by David Castillo Dominici at www.freedigitalphotos.net

The Kosher Ham

This is a good one to pull out for Easter

So occasionally we are asked if we would like to join one of the many families we know for Easter lunch or dinner. When they extend this offer, more often than not, they mention that they have their Easter Ham.

Once, many years ago, when this offer was extended to us, I mentioned that the only way that we could join them was if they could find a Kosher Ham. Amusingly enough, the person actually went to a couple butchers and meat departments to see if he could find one of these illusive hams.

When I spoke to the person a few days later, he told me that it was not until about the fourth place he tried that the butcher, who also happened to be Jewish, told him that someone was playing a joke on him.

In the end, we were all amused and got a good laugh out of it, and I did join them for dinner. But he made a point to buy a roasted chicken for me.

Humorous and Fun Jewish items you might like

Thinking about it, education is everything. Understanding even more so. So I suggest the items below for anyone out there that might be looking into learning more.

No... I grind them down at night.

Once upon a time, people believed that Jews had horns.

Correction... there are some that still do!

There are a few origin stories as to what started this, but I am not going into that. Remember, this is for fun, not a history or theology lesson.

I can remember this one time I was talking to a co-worker when I worked at a large, nameless, department store. She was about ten years older than me and, so one might assume, wiser than me.

We were in the break room and the topic of religion came up because we were approaching Christmas and I was invited to Midmight Mass. I thanked her and made a polite effort to change the topic, but she pressed. Asking me what church I belonged to, so I responded... at the time... with the name of the synagogue that I attended.

The look on her face is one that I will remember to my dying day. She looked as though someone slapped her across the face with a two by four, and then the "foot in mouth" reflex happened.

I am not sure if it was just the ONLY thing she could think of that, in her mind, sounded polite or appropraiate, but she said, "You don't LOOK like a Jew."

Me, always being one to think of the absolute best thing to say in the right circumstances, replied by rubbing my head and telling her, "I try to keep my horns trimmed back so I do not scare children."

The conversation ended on that note and we did not speak to each other after that... or ever again. She made a concerted effort to not be around me after our conversation. But that was not the funny part.

It was about a month or so later, that I was talking to another person in my department and she approached me and ran her fingers through my hair and around my scalp. I asked her what she was doing and she told me " said that you were a Jew and had horns."

I never laughed so hard in my life, up to that point.

It's not a Christmas tree...

...Its a Chanukah Bush!

I know for a fact that this is not just something that happened in my house, growing up, but appears to also have been something that others have done.

When I was very young, I grew up in a mixed religion household. My Mother is Jewish and my father was Christian, but in the Jewish faith, the religion follows the Mother, so that is how I was raised. But our family still had a Christmas tree for my Dad and Sister, and I still had fun with it too.

When my Mom and I were on our own, I guess that at some point I was upset about no longer having the tree in the house for the holidays, so my Mother invented, as far as I could tell at the time, the Jewish equivalent to the Christmas Tree... The Chanukah bush.

Fast forward a couple decades and you will occasionally see me walking through a tree lot and take a moment to ask the attendant if they have any Chanukah bushes for sale. This works especially well if you find a young person working there, because then they have to go ask someone else. More often than not, you can tell when they have asked, because you will hear laughing. Moments later you may, or may not, see a red-faced person come back over to you to advise you that no... they do not have them.

But the Bush will stay dear in my heart, and more than likely we will introduce it to my son when he is older.

Some movies that you might like

Humor is the key to good health. Here are some movies that include our humor and faith.

I love to hear your thoughts when I post a new item... they are very important and help me decide what to write next.

Thanks for reading!

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