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What is the Nature of Romantic Love?

Updated on September 22, 2016
Nebo D Lukovich profile image

Nebo D. Lukovich is the creator of the Reintegration System, a new methodology for personal transformation. He lives in Montenegro, Europe.

Who of us hasn’t ever felt romantic affection toward another human being? It’s such an appealing and exhilarating emotion, adored and desired by so many people all around the world.

But, is this infatuation really so good for us? What is its nature, after all?

"You fell in love with a storm. Did you really think you would get out unscathed?" — Nikita Gill

Does It Really Change Us?

Let us examine the impact of infatuation on our way of living. When we fall in love, it lasts no longer than several months. The greater its vigor, the shorter its grasp. Spiritual-like feelings of elation, euphoria and admiration, all directed and focused toward a single person, may seem never-ending at first. But we all know very well it’s far from being true.

The nature of these euphoric emotions is ephemeral. It is typically based on desire toward the other sex. While being overwhelmed by them, you didn’t solve any of your inner conflicts yet. All the disharmonies in you are still lurking from the vastness of your subconscious mind, and will be inevitably released when the euphoria passes.

What’s worse, our inner unintegrated parts of personality will take advantage of our desire toward the other sex and attract a person whose own inner troubles will only serve to feast our negativities, when the romance fades away. These internal tensions will bring you troubles with that person and will have exactly the same level of grasp over you, as the romantic feelings did before. It’s a kind of roller-coaster, which is self-perpetual and seemingly endless.

"Often romantic relationships fail because you are trying to get someone to fall in love with the YOU that you never discovered." — Shannon L. Alder

Roots of Romantic Affection

How come these thrilling emotions have such an influence in our lives?

Being born in this material world entails existence within one of the sexes. Almost all of us are either male or female, with very rare exceptions. And that means that males have seemingly lost their female parts, and vice versa. They didn’t. These “lost parts” have just become unconscious. Hidden. The result? We have the world of two opposite sexes, longing toward one another through romantic love and sensual pleasures, but never really re-uniting at this level.

Romantic love is a manifestation of our enormous desire toward the opposite sex deeply hidden within us. This kind of love, with its plethora of ecstatic emotions, is ingrained in all of us, as long as we are completely unaware of our own “other pole.” Men are unaware of their female parts, hidden within the depths of their psyche, while women are longing for their “lost” male parts within their personality. We all have a strong craving for re-uniting with these parts of ourselves, and that attraction is typically being manifested through desire toward the external opposite sex.

However, when we unveil our hidden opposite part, accept it and embrace it, we become re-united within us. That part is not the opposite part anymore, it becomes corresponding, balancing and harmonizing. Like Yin and Yang, like Creative and Accepting Force, they are complementary and make our being complete again. Our desire for romantic love diminishes, but instead of it, our ability for Pure Love toward all being becomes much greater!

What Can We Really Do?

This re-unification is possible in real life. You can find various techniques for merging the opposites on the Internet. One of these resources for you could be the book “Inner Peace, Outer Success: The Reintegration System,” with its technique “Inner Triangle,” which works perfectly for this purpose, as it's designed for merging the opposites within you. Other resources are, for example, numerous Taoist techniques. Also, consulting and reflecting over the old Chinese book full of wisdom, “I Ching” (the Book of Changes) could be invaluable for one’s inner unification.

And one more important thing for all of us is: “embracing” the opposite sex within us doesn't mean for men to become feminized, or for women to become too "mannish". Not at all. For men, it just means to embrace the Yin principle and its emblematic qualities like Softness, Warmness, Wetness, Docility, Acceptance, Kindness, and so on. For women – it means to embrace the Yang principle and its archetypal qualities like Firmness, Decisiveness, Determination, Power, Creativity, Leadership…

For all of us, it means to become One with ourselves.

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© 2016 Nebo D Lukovich

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    • Nebo D Lukovich profile image
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      Nebo D Lukovich 14 months ago from Podgorica

      Thank you, Ceida.

      You understand perfectly the concepts behind this article.

      I wish you to reintegrate with your other part, both within and outside!

      Have a great day! :-)

    • Ceida Uilyc profile image

      Geomaria George 14 months ago from Kerala

      This has profound meaning. I can completely relate to the truth that, each of are attracted to our opposite or same gender because, we have lost the feminine or masculine in ourselves. WOW. That echoes so well with reality.

      In fact, our "type" (our preferences seeked in the other half) define our personality and what we are looking out for than what is within the other.

      So, if I look out for a man who knows how to comfort me the best, I should first integrate within myself and learn to comfort me first.

      I am sharing this with everyone I know.

      Great Post, Nebo.

      Waiting for more!