Ten Lucha Libre Matches I'd Love to See (But Probably Won't)
Earlier today I sat down to have lunch and, as I’m prone to do, watched a lucha libre match. As I was watching this wonderful bout, two ideas popped into my head. One was to do a column on the match for the 201 series; the other was to do a list of the ten lucha libre matches I would most like to see. Yes, this match was so good it made me go to that. After consulting with numerous people, I’ve decided to split the different; tomorrow you will get the 201 entry and today you will get the list. I’ll say it now and I’ll say it again at the end; this list is my personal opinion and my personal opinion alone. It doesn’t mean the list is definitive and it doesn’t make your list of matches you’d like to see any less memorable. Get it? Got it? Swell. So without further ado, I introduce you to the ten lucha libre matches that I would love (but probably won’t) get to see. Enjoy!
10. Octagon vs. Flamita
If I had done this list a few months ago this would’ve been a top three match I needed to see. Now the momentum has seriously cooled after the image of Octagon interrupting a Flamita autograph session and pulling off the poor boys mask faded somewhat. Still this is a match I would like to see and I’d like to see it for one reason and one reason alone; to watch Flamita beat the ever loving shit out of Octagon. I’m sure that’s not going to make me friends with the lucha legend, his legions of fans or his gun wielding body guards but in the words of Dave Chappelle, so the fuck what? I don’t care if Octagon had the greatest gripe in the world with AAA (which in many instances he did); to go humiliate a young man whose only crime is doing what his employer tells him just because your panties are all caught in a bunch is a pretty low thing. Thus if some lucha promotion was to put this match together and have Flamita just lay into Octagon like he was nothing I’d be all over this match. Of course this is the same universe that just saw Vader get a win over Will Ospreay, a man 41 years his junior, just a few days ago. In short, Octagon would totally win this match, there’d be no rematch and I would end up being arrested for going to an Octagon autograph signing and unmasking his ass.
9. Mask vs. Hair
Caristico vs. Alberto El Patron
It’ll never happen even if Alberto does end up leaving WWE for the confines of Lucha Libre Elite. Why; because these two guys legit LOATHE each other, to the point where I believe I read that Caristico almost shot Alberto once upon a time. I know; what is it with these first two matches and gun related incidents?! Regardless, I’d be heavily interested in this match for the same reason I am the first one; I want to see Patron get taken to slam town. Yes that involves rooting for Caristico; a guy who I just said nearly shot Alberto once upon a time. That blemish aside though Caristico is still one of the most exciting luchadors on his best day and somehow has managed to seem less of a dick than Patron, who screwed over many an independent promotion during his one year run away from WWE and then left AAA (and to a lesser extent Lucha Underground) high and dry to go to WWE and be a lesser star than he was in Mexico. I can probably forgive Alberto some day, but for now he deserves to get his head shaved and to get it shaved by his real life nemesis. No I’m not bitter.
8. Hair vs. Hair
Jack Evans vs. Angelico
This would be higher if everything else on the list wasn’t so good! I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again; this feud needs to happen at some point down the road. I don’t care if it’s AAA or Lucha Underground. It’s a story that rights itself; Jack Evans wrecks the best tag team in Mexico today by turning on Angelico and adopting the rudo gimmick that’s brought him acclaim in Lucha Underground/the US indies, leading to the plucky technico Angelico seeking revenge until the only thing left to do is for them to put their hair on the line. Not even a Marvel Cinematic Universe film could bring in cash as easily as this one could if done right. Thankfully unlike a good chunk of these bouts I think we will actually see it too. Even AAA knows that rudo Jack Evans is the way to go eventually, and him vs. Angelico is so natural that not even they could screw it up. They’ll try though. It’s AAA guys; they let Pentagon Jr. win Rey de Reyes and somehow managed to lesson his accomplishment at the exact same time!
7. Zeuxis vs. Ivelisse
And you were thinking I’d leave the luchadoras out. Who do you think I am, Rob Viper?! Again this won’t happen unless Ivelisse is somehow able to wiggle her way into Lucha Libre Elite one of these days, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be something you don’t want to see. This would be the best luchadora in Lucha Underground going up against the best in CMLL in a fight that arguably would crown who the best women's wrestler in the world is (all apologies to Sasha and the gang). Your gorram right I said it! Give these two women three falls, twenty minutes to work and you’ll have more magic than The Prestige, Now You See Me, Now You See Me 2 and all eight Harry Potter films combined. Take that Ron Weasley.
6. Aerostar vs. Mascara Dorada
Chalk this one up to being another match that’ll never happen because Mascara Dorada is heading up north soon (there’s also rumors the two don’t like each other but I cannot confirm that). What a shame, because this wouldn’t just be two awesome high flyers going nose to nose but two guys who are in many ways carbon copies of each other. They have similar looks, a similar move set and most importantly the same reckless abandon style that leads to such things like Aerostar jumping from the lights or Dorada flying into the crowd via suicide dive (don’t worry; Aerostar does that too!). It truly would be the closest thing we could ever come to seeing either a) two aliens do battle or b) the greatest Power Rangers cosplay battle in the history of the western hemisphere. Perhaps it’s in the cards further down the line if WWE misuses Dorada and he finds himself in AAA. We can dream! Not about Dorada being misused but the other stuff.
5. Mask vs. Mask
Atlantis vs. L.A. Park
Matt Mortensen is going to be so furious with me for putting this match only at number five. Such is life. Honestly the reason the match is this high or even on the list at all is because it’s two of my all time favorites fighting in a stipulation that guarantees the unmasking of one of the greatest lucha masks of all time. There’s not much else that would see more tickets than that, not to mention the match would be fantastic because Atlantis and Park are still two of the best in lucha libre. The reason it’s so low then; because these two each have a potential match up that intrigues me far more than this one. You’ll see what I mean shortly.
4. Rights to the Mistico Name
Mistico vs. Caristico
It might not have this stipulation, but this match will most definitely happen sooner than later and will be as wonderful as you can imagine. Frankly this could’ve been the hot main event CMLL could’ve used for this year’s Anniversary Show (along with numerous other possibilities). It’s just a natural match up; Caristico was the original Mistico, the man who took the gimmick to near legendary heights and became the biggest star in lucha libre before heading off to WWE. He eventually comes back to CMLL through Elite only to find a new luchador has taken up the name Mistico. It’s very L.A. Park vs. La Parka, only in this instance the replacement Mistico is a hundred times the luchador that the poser La Parka was. If that match could be as moving and emotional as it was with only one elite performer in it, imagine how Caristico vs. Mistico with either the rights to the name or their masks on the line could be? I dare say it be eye popping good, and best of all I think it would be near impossible to predict the winner because Mistico has turned out to be such a valuable talent. He could legit beat Caristico, and I’m not just saying this because he seems to be a super swell dude! Alright maybe a little.
3. Pentagon Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio
For a moment I was strongly considering putting Rey Mysterio vs. El Hijo del Santo, mask vs. mask, on this list just for the sheer historical impact that match would have. And yet as I thought about it, the match didn’t really interest me that much. And then Pentagon came across my mind and suddenly I was absolutely hooked with the idea of him going against Rey. Even more so than the spellbinding match Rey and Puma had at Ultima Lucha Dos, Rey vs. Pentagon would represent the contrast of the two boom eras in lucha libre. You’d have Rey, the representative of the When Worlds Collide/WCW days who revolutionized lucha libre and brought it to the mainstream. And then you’d have Pentagon, the new hero of lucha and the man who will lead it into its next era, one broken arm after the other. Beyond that, the clashing styles also interest me greatly; whereas Rey and Puma was an air show, Rey-Pentagon would feature Rey having to fight to get air against Pentagon, who would try to ground, overpower and hurt Mysterio in his own violent way. It’s such a superb idea for a match and something that we definitely need to see before Rey retires. Perhaps Lucha Underground has it in the cards for seasons three or four?
2. Mask vs. Hair
L.A. Park vs. Rush
Yes this is the match that should’ve headlined the Anniversary Show this year, no I will not stop talking about this match until it happens and yes it belongs this high on the list. You will not find another rivalry or potential match up on this list (save for the number one match, which isn’t a rivalry) that contains the heat these two have every time they make their way to the ring. Whether or not Park and Rush hate each other in real life beats the hell out of me, but it sure as hell feels like they don’t like each other every time they get in the ring and good freakin Cthulhu does that add so much. When you give that kind of heat to two world class performers and then allow them to go out and do what they do at the highest of level, there’s just nothing better. And trust me, almost nothing would be better than putting these two out there with their intensity and then add to it further by putting Park’s mask and Rush’s hair on the line. It truly would be the easiest money any promotion will ever make if someone chose to book it. It also would further cement Park as one of the greatest luchadors of all time (I’d argue he’s already top ten, but hey what do I know?) and would instantly make Rush a legend. And don’t get me started on the tears the result would cause; I’d be sobbing for either result. Park losing his mask or Rush losing that beautiful hair?! That’s really the only reason not to do this match.
1. Mask vs. Mask
El Hijo del Santo vs. Atlantis
There are many matches on this list that I can almost safely say will never happen. Unless Atlantis were to shockingly leave CMLL in the next two years or Paco Alonso were to get over his beef with del Santo in the same time period, this match will never happen. And maybe it shouldn’t. Both del Santo and Atlantis are now in their fifties and ten years removed from their last huge one on one match in 2005, a truly underrated classic that you’ll be reading about tomorrow from yours truly). And while Atlantis is still at the top of his game, I haven’t seen enough of del Santo recently to say whether he’s aged as gracefully as Atlantis has or if he’s turned into Shocker (I seriously doubt he has). Maybe it truly is best that these two never do get to wrestle again.
And yet…when I think about the possibility of this match my goodness do I get the sort of chills only reserved for first kisses and the final half an hour of The Bridge on the River Kwai. Forget about wrestling ability, forget about age, forget about bad blood, forget about everything else and just think about this; you would have the man who wears the most famous mask in lucha libre history (both thanks to his father and himself) going up against the greatest mask vs. mask wrestler of all time and arguably the greatest luchador in history not named Santo. Regardless of who wins, lucha libre is forever changed with the unmasking of one of these two men. Arena Mexico, the Mexico City Arena, almost every arena in the country couldn’t fit the crowd that match would draw in; it would legit be the closest lucha libre could ever get to doing a Wrestlemania/Wrestle Kingdom style show. And goodness gracious me I would love to see that. Maybe it wouldn’t live up to the hype; maybe it would be a few too many years too late. Who cares? El Hijo del Santo vs. Atlantis with their masks on the line is worth the risk. It’s the shit dreams are made of man, and you would never find a lucha match with more meaning than that.
There you have it kids. Again, this is my personal opinion here and not something set in stone, so don’t be offended if the lucha match you’re dying to see isn’t on here. Can’t believe I have to keep saying that after that one guy got offended over me leaving a Rayo de Jalisco Jr. match of my greatest mask matches list! I’ll be back later with a review of tonight’s CMLL Super Puebla. Till then, a picture of L.A. Park just chillin.