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10 Reasons Why I Was Never a High School Baller
Writer's note: with the NCAA Final Four Basketball Tourney now in sight for this year, I thought that I would be the opportunist and publish this heart-breaking hub about myself and my short encounter with my high school basketball program. Do not cry. I am dealing with this emotional dilemma today. Thanks, Kenneth.
The Definition of
basketball, according to non-biased sources, is a team sport played by two teams of five players on a rectangular court. The objective is to shoot a ball through a hoop 18 inches (46 cm) in diameter and mounted at a height of 10 feet (3.048 m) to backboards at each end of the court. The game was invented in 1891 by Dr. James Naismith, who would be the first basketball coach of the Kansas Jayhawks, one of the most successful programs in the game's history.
I intentionally gave all of my basketball fans the above paragraph which is more than the definition of one of America's most popular sport, but is just choked full of stats, sizes, and famous names that these fans can use (with my blessings) at the water cooler or in the break room tomorrow to impress that hot new female receptionist.
I am not a huge fan of today's NBA. Not that I am against the NBA. It's just after legendary players such as "Pistol" Pete Maravich (LSU) and Larry Bird, Boston Celtics, left the game, I went with them in my following this fast-paced, highly-lucrative (for players and clubs) game that is viewed, I think as much as the NFL by American and world-wide fans.
Did I play the sport of basketball? No. But my mom did when she was a girl and my buddy, Les Walters, managing editor of the Journal Record, Hamilton, Ala., ran her photo on the Girls' Basketball Championship Team, New Home School in our newspaper. This is probably the only difference of likes and dislikes with my mom and myself.
There is really no use in boring you with more paragraphs of the introduction when all I really need to say to you is: 10 Reasons Why I Was Never a High School Baller.
10.) I was not nimble as a mountain goat and certain not as agile. I tried during Physical Education classes to learn how to dribble, pass, and shoot the basketball, but I learned right away that I was no Wilt Chamberlain.
9.) The gym at my high school was really small and with large crowds for the home and visiting teams filling our bleachers, my nerves just couldn't stand the pressure. And no one really likes a team mate who is always covered with sweat.
8.) The hardwood gym floor was hard and when I would fall during Physical Education wind sprints that our Physical Education teacher, the late coach L.E. Fowler would force us to run, it hurt like all get-out and to a rural person, 'all get out' is as far bad as one can get.
7.) I was not a tall guy in high school, but our varsity basketball team had tall men of course. So even back in my junior and senior year, I was very self-conscience and a low self image.
6.) The high school had a huge popcorn machine sitting in the corner of the gym for selling popcorn to fans and let the school make some needed cash. So the aroma of freshly-popped popcorn was a natural distraction. Shoot! This distraction would have caused the great Jerry West to be off of his game.
5.) Talk about clumsy, I was clumsy with a capital "C." No need to explain further.
4.) Try as I may, I could never get the fundamentals of basketball down to a working science. I either passed the ball too hard and my buddies would grow angry at them missing my passes so this helped me to decide that I was not a high school "baller."
3.) No one would try to give me a basketball nick-name such as "Pistol" Pete Maravich (see photo on this hub) or even Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain. No guy trying out for a high school basketball team wants to be nick-named "Big Boy,"or "Big 'Un."
2.) I did not have a way to practice even if I did want to play high school basketball. My dad, rest his soul, was super-thrifty about gasoline for the family car.
1.) I looked terrible, awful, disgraceful, and down right disgusting in those shorts that high school basketball team players are forced to wear. Did I say that I looked repulsive?
Thanks for letting me "pass" these sorrows on to you.
Good night, Gary, Indiana (where basketball rules).
© 2017 Kenneth Avery