Ban The Vuvuzela From FIFA Soccer
What is a vuvuzela?
The vuvuzela is a cheap plastic horn that makes a buzzing noise. It has become very popular at South African soccer (football) matches, where the fans blow it constantly to create a buzzing noise throughout the game. People watching on TV have compared the noise to a swarm of bees. Despite claims that these horns are part of an African music tradition, they are actually just cheap pieces of plastic purchased for $1.99 at the Johannesburg Wal-Mart.
Why we hate the vuvuzela
The vuvuzela takes all the emotion out of a soccer crowd. They blow on them when a player scores, they blow on them when a goalie makes a good save, they blow on them when a player passes the ball, they blow on them while a player waits to retrieve a ball that has been kicked out of bounce. There are no ups and downs in the crowd noise anymore, just a constant buzz. What's the point of making the same noise all the time?
Players hate the noise because they can't communicate with their teammates on the pitch. The vuvuzela weakens the actual playing of the game of soccer.
Broadcasters hate the noise because they have to talk over it constantly. The BBC is looking into a technology that would be able to eliminate most of the vuvuzela noise from their broadcast, making games easier to watch on TV.
Why the vuvuzela has nothing to do with African music traditions
Saying the vuvuzela is a part of a rich musical tradition is an insult to African music. I can't imagine that any South African's great-great-great-great-grandfather once whittled his own vuvuzela while working at the bright yellow plastic mine 200 years ago. The vuvuzela we see at the World Cup is part of a rich and sordid tradition of consumerism and marketing.
A vuvuzela is a stadium horn popularly used in soccer match in South Africa. No one seems to know the original meaning of the name vuvuzela. This is going to be the next most controversial thing in the 2010...