Big Fun For The Bored Family at The Big Campground
(Start song by Lou Rawls here)
Facts are facts
It's a natural man who knows that it's a fact that camping with independently-owned or commercially-owned campgrounds is one of the best ways to go on vacation without spending truckloads of money. It's an economical win for the family. And with the savings, the family can do more things during their week's vacation such as riding a certain riverboat with shows on the hour, eating at a collection of fine restaurants. Camping makes sense. That says it all.
Camping = Money saved
Although this is not a free brochure (found in rest stops along our interstates) about camping, I would like to point out that camping can also be viewed as a needed-remedy for the family who has somehow, through jobs, schools, and other obligations, drifted away from each other causing an empty space in the family unit.
Try it. What have you got to lose? Take the family camping and when you return home, take an honest poll of everyone who went what they honestly thought about the weekend camping trip. You might be surprised to learn that life is still good even without all of the comforts at home.
Other sights of camping
Now for a surprise. For the family on a camping trip that has in a matter of two days, shopped every store in sight, saw every theater show available and ate at every restaurant from "Charlie's Crayfish Cabin," to "Lucy's Catfish Lair." Not that there is anything wrong or repulsive about these eateries, it's just that this camping family is not just "bushed," but now getting bored with nothing else to do in the four days they have left in the campground.
This, ladies and gentlemen, can be a mental burden that you don't want.
So I have sat down and drawn-up some priceless life-saving tips on how your family can have
Big Fun For The Bored Family at The Big Campground
- Everyone come outside your RV or camper and sit in your lawn chairs reading and such. Then at the top of every hour, like clockwork, everyone rise from your chairs in military order and walk around your RV thee times. Then sit back down. You will get attention (and fun) like you won't believe.
- Bring a guitar, snare drum and maybe a trumpet along on your trip. At just the right time, when all the other campers are gathering back to their camping sites, hit the CD inside the camper and start lip syncing current hits while acting like you're playing the insruments. This will be fun until some curious camper and his wife walk over and start calling out requests, so keep an eye out for this situation.
- When things are slow and so boring even the biting horselies are taking naps, everyone dress in those bear costumes you brought from home and sit in your lawn chairs saying nothing or throwing glances toward others. Mark my words, someone with guts just might want to find out what is up with the bear get-up's.
- When two or more campers introduce themselves to you and the family never use real names. Start with you. "Hi, my name is Darryl. My wife, Judy, our two sons, D.D. and Wayne. We are proud to meet you." Then when an opportunity affords itself, you say, "Hey, Margie, care to get out the cold drinks?" One of the new friends might ask, "I thought she was Judy." "Naw, easy mistake. Her name is Naomi." And so it goes. Your biggest task is to try not to laugh.
- Invite a couple to have breakfast with you. Have the fire going and table set with paper plates, utencils and cups for coffee and tea. At the right time, your wife says, "Soup's on! Time to eat." And all she serves on the plates are one carrot, one cauliflower bud, and a piece of broccoli. You and your family carry-on like this is a feast. Say things to your wife like, "Great meal, huh!" See if the couple you invited will eat or not. Encourage them by saying, "Now, Jim. You can eat more than "a" carrot. Have another." By the time they leave and return to their camp site you and your family will be the talk of the campground.
- For added fun, have your wife's sister to drive up just when your wife has left to get some groceries. But have some other campers sitting and relaxing with you. The sister will act the part of "the other woman," and you and her kiss, embrace, and she sits in your lap like two lovers. Look at the faces of your visitors. See how pale? But do not laugh.
And finally . . .
- You and your sons walk to the nearest people who are camping in tents. Look very sad before you get there. Introduce yourselves and then humbly ask if you and the sons can share their tent tonight for your wife, as you explain it, "is in one of her moods and I don't want to have everyone watching our campsite." If the campers ask what it is she does, just say, "Ohhh, barking at the moon, tearing down clothes from clotheslines, like you have here and running around in the dark yelling . . .'I love Ozzy Osbourne!" See how many campers will let you share their tent. But make sure that they have just ONE tent.
Have fun. Happy camping and watch the speed limit.