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CMLL Puebla: Better Than Expected!
Plot twist; tonight’s CMLL was better than expected! Yes despite looking like two hours of mediocrity, the boys and girls in Arena Puebla managed to turn this show into two hours and fifteen minutes of imperfect but overall solid, entertaining action. I was so pleasantly surprised that it momentarily gave me hope for tomorrow night’s show…then I remembered that card and was immediately back to preemptively hating myself for reviewing that show tomorrow. So it goes. But that show is later; right now let’s focus on the good, the bad and the shortest tights known to man. DAMMIT VALIENTE! Moses, meme it for the nice people and then go to Old Navy and get Valiente something to cover himself with.
Black Tiger, Meyer, Vega defeated Ares, Guerrero Espacial, Sombra Diabólika two falls to one
Much like the show as a whole, this was better than expected. I’m still not sure it was good though, at least beyond what Meyer, Vega and Sombra brought to the table. I wasn’t particularly surprised the two technicos stood out like they did as they’re generally reliable. But Sombra not only continuing his consistent performance from last week but improving on it was welcome. Whatever his age or reasoning for being in Puebla may be the guy seems to be making the most of the opportunity and in two weeks has already proven to shown more pace, more ability and better timing than Ares, Black Tiger, Police Man and many of the other Puebla locals we see every week. The dude is a keeper sports fans and when he was in the ring with Meyer and Vega it was almost as if we were in a different match than what was billed. Even Guerrero Espacial seemed to feed off it and had a better performance than usual. Sadly that didn’t get rid of Black Tiger or Ares, who were their usual humdrum selves and brought the match down every time they were involved. If anything their involvement is the best argument towards there being more tag matches on CMLL shows. If this was Meyer/Vega vs. Sombra/Espacial then this match is pretty good. Instead it’s an average, albeit better than usual, start to the show.
Estrellita, Princesa Sugehit, Sanely defeated Amapola, La Seductora, Tiffany two falls to one
This was both the worst and most offensive thing to happen on this show this evening, just above Valiente wearing his shortest tights yet. That tells you everything you need to know here; you must be a special kind of suck to not be as horrifying as a Speedo so small it could probably be a center for ants. Uh oh, incoming Zoolander meme!
The saddest thing here is that I cannot tell you much about this match, other than it made me angry to see Princesa Sugehit, Sanely and Amapola subjected to this once more. These three are talented luchadoras; sure they’re not Zeuxis but overall they’re capable of delivering good matches more often than not. Instead they’re subjected to this crap once again where they have to work around poor workers like Tiffany and Seductora or watch the big spots of the match be taken up by Estrellita, who is one black Shield vest and entrance through the crowd away from being CMLL’s female Roman Reigns (minus the being above average part). It’s insulting to watch and I can only imagine how insulting it is for those three to be a part of it. You can tell it affects Sugehit and Amapola too; neither of them had much fire here and Sugehit at one point had the body language of someone who wanted to walk out on this match and just keep walking. Only Sanely looked fired up and motivated throughout and you get the sense the only reason she is is because CMLL hasn’t beaten the enthusiasm out of the youngster yet. If shit like this continues it’ll only be a matter of time. Can we stop talking about this match already?
Puma, Skándalo, Tiger defeated Esfinge, Fuego, Stigma two falls to one
Turns out the presence of Skándalo wasn’t enough to hold back this otherwise very good looking match. The match started off with a nice pace (thanks to Puma and Stigma delivering some decent mat work), built throughout the second fall as Casas’ delivered their usual above average teamwork and exploded in the third when the dives started coming in from both sides. Best of Skándalo was kept out of the way, allowing Puma and Tiger to control the action and the technicos to simply be exciting. How novel a concept! This won’t win any end of year awards but it was a very good match with some really entertaining moments and should serve as another strong showcase for Puma and Tiger. I have no idea when they’ll be getting that Trios Championship shot they won this past Friday, but it hopefully should be soon as they look motivated and ready to break through into the higher realms of the card.
Kráneo, Ripper, Shocker defeated Diamante Azul, Johnny Idol, Máximo Sexy two falls to one
Call me crazy; I really enjoyed this match. I’m not sure it was an actively “good” wrestling match but it was most definitely an entertaining one from start to finish. Credit should go to Máximo and (get ready to gasp) Shocker for getting this match off on the right foot. I’ve said many a thing about Shocker over the last few months, but I must admit that it’s been harder for me to bemoan his existence ever since I saw him in that Lucha Mexico documentary. I don’t think he’ll ever be my favorite but you can’t help but root for him on some level and when he tries he can still deliver. He was trying tonight, and it was easy because Máximo always makes it easy with his antics. Once those two got going with the comedy all the rest of the guys needed to do was play their part and all CMLL needed to do was not book Shocker vs. Diamante for next week. Both things were accomplished. Ripper did his one move, Johnny Idol provided some flair (though I’d still like it if CMLL would let him cut loose more) and CMLL wisely put Diamante and Kráneo together for good portions of this match. I say wisely because the pairing worked against all odds, mainly because Kráneo is a comedy wizard and him being so big made Diamante hitting him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (flawlessly may I add) and a Nail in the Coffin pretty damn cool. The only thing missing was Diamante doing a Monkey Flip on him, which I desperately wanted to see just to find out what would happen. Alas it appears they’re saving that for another, more entertaining bout down the road. I’m fine with it because this match was fine overall; but CMLL better give me that Kráneo-Diamante bout some day. One way or another you know it’ll be entertaining, it’s just a matter of whether it’s Animal House entertaining or Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor entertaining.
Mistico, Valiente, Volador Jr. defeated Gran Guerrero, La Máscara, Último Guerrero two falls to one
The good news; CMLL decided to use this match to build towards a singles bout and chose a match up that wasn’t between guys who have fought more times than Sasha Banks and Charlotte. Granted Valiente and the UG have tangled quite a bit recently, but a) both of those confrontations were shorter and b) both played a part in this match making sense, as Valiente and UG split their match ups in the Universal and Leyenda de Azul tournament/ciberneticos and left over hostility from them is to be expected. So setting up a rubber match between the two, where they’ll have more time to work their magic, is good. The bad news is that they set up the match with the typical “rudo unmasks the technico for the DQ” finish (seriously CMLL, if you can find another way to kick start feuds besides going back to that tired trope, that would be great) and the match is on hold at least for another week so CMLL can run this trios match again. Why? Who knows. I’ll refrain from getting too annoyed just yet as this match had some fun moments (though most of those were from Valiente chasing UG around) and it’s possible they let these teams actually go full blast next week in order to get some momentum for the Valiente-UG match that should come a week later. Silly me though, I would’ve preferred that CMLL had just gone with Valiente-UG next week; at least that would’ve guaranteed the match (whereas CMLL can now change their minds next week) and given us a reason to tune in. Now we’re on hold because…again who knows? Honestly the only answer I’ll accept is that CMLL is also tired of Valiente’s ungodly small tights and is exiling him from singles action till the pants return. If that’s the case, I’ll proudly join CMLL in supporting that cause.
And scene. I’m off till tomorrow sports fans, where I’ll be writing about tomorrow’s CMLL show and Valiente’s lack of pants. Yes the time has come for me to finally tackle this subject head on. Till that time, in the words of an excited CMLL announcer, DUCHOVNY DUCHOVNY DUCHOVNY!!!!!!!