CMLL Super Viernes Preview: Everything is Awesome (Except the Main Event)
It’s Thursday evening; you know what that means. That’s right, it’s CMLL Super Viernes preview time! So swell, much like this week’s show exception for the disfigured cherry on top. I shit you not sports fans; matches one through five on this show range from good to very good to “WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE SUCH KINDESS FROM YOU PACO?” It’s that impressive, so impressive that by the time you get to the awful looking main event it almost seems as though the rest of the card is CMLL apologizing to us. That’s what I’d like to believe at least. Whatever the case, it’s time to break it down so I can go build my own vision of CMLL in TEW. Fun times. Moses, just meme it!
Fuego & Soberano Jr. vs. Misterioso Jr. & Sagrado
What to Expect: Wait…this is the opener?! The great Soberano Jr. and Fuego are teaming up to take on the great Sagrado and the alright Misterioso Jr. IN THE OPENER?! Are we sure CMLL didn’t forget to put the opener on the poster? Talk about a rare gift! The only questions I have about this match are whether or not anyone will be restricted and what Misterioso are we getting. Ultimately neither may matter; Soberano is so good that he transcends restrictions, Sagrado has been on a roll for awhile now and Fuego is super fun regardless of the occasion. I’ve seen openers that we expected to be good that turned into shit before but I’d be really surprised if that was the case here. Look for this to be a very strong start to the night.
Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They take it in three falls after Misterioso submits Fuego and Sagrado plants Soberano with the One Winged Angel.
Drone, Esfinge, Guerrero Maya Jr. vs. El Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón
What to Expect: I look at this match and I just think to myself; poor Esfinge. It was bad enough that he had to wrestle Nitro in a Lightning Match last week following him being the third wheel in an awesome Soberano/Tritón showcase. Now he finds himself in the third wheel position again, stuck between two awesome luchadors in Drone and Guerrero Maya as they take on three awesome rudos. One more of these matches and I think we can safely say Esfinge is officially the Xander Harris of CMLL, minus the greatness of course.
Esfinge’s inferiority complex aside this match should be quite fun. As I said a moment ago, both Drone and Guerrero Maya are super good and all three rudos are magnificent, especially together. The only concern once more is what restrictions will be in place, and that’s not much of a concern when you remember that Cuatrero, Forastero and Sansón can pretty much work any style at a high level. Don’t be surprised at all if this is up there for Match of the Evening contention. My hopes are that high; dare I say they’re even higher than they were for that Dashboard Confessional guy in that “Hands Down” tune.
Winners: Very close to call here. Both are young luchador squads that could use a win, but only one has been semi-main eventing Friday shows on occasion and are related to the baby maker Máscara Año 2000. Los Cientificos take it in three falls after some chill triple team move. And you thought I stopped calling them Los Cientificos. PSYCH!
Stuka Jr. vs. Bobby Villa
What to Expect: The good news; this has a chance to be really good! The bad news; it’s a Lightning Match, so it also has a chance to get cut short before these two really get going. At least both guys come in looking good, with Stuka impressing in recent singles outings and Bobby V coming off a string of excellent performances with Dragón Rojo and Pólvora over the past few weeks. Oh yeah, he also had a Lightning Match with Guererro Maya recently that was not only borderline excellent but one that actually went the full time limit. I’m not saying that’s what Bobby V and Stuka will do here but don’t be surprised if this goes late into the clock. If it does, then there’s a great chance Stuka gets dive crazy, Bobby expands his arsenal outside of those awesome basement dropkicks he delivers and we all have a great time.
Winner: I have the rudos winning the first two matches, which means it’s time for a technico victory. Stuka picks up the W with Stuka Splash at around the eight minute mark, giving Los Revolucionarios their first blemish of any kind since their run began.
Atlantis, Marco Corleone, Volador Jr. vs. Felino, Negro Casas, Sam Adonis
What to Expect: This match is going to pack some HEAT. I’m talking more heat than the Miami Heat, the Killswitch Engage song “This Fire Burns” and Backdraft combined. How can it not when you have top stars Atlantis and Volador on one side and the American Heatwave (and CNN’s favorite luchador) Sam Adonis on the other? Make sure your laptop fans are working peeps because it's going to get hot. How hot?
In all seriousness…no wait I was being serious before. I would be absolutely floored if the Arena Mexico crowd didn’t lose its mind for this match; the only scenario I can see them not is if the Donald Trump thing has died down in Mexico (which it hasn’t). So the crowd should be riled up for everything Sam Adonis does, and it should only get louder when he tangles with the big names like Atlantis and Volador. Those will be the moments to look out for sports fans. Sam has turned into one of the best rudos in CMLL while also being one of the most underrated workers, but unless I’m misremembering I don’t recall him ever going up against top guys like Atlantis, Volador and Marco (while teaming with top guys like Felino and Negro Casas) on a streamed CMLL show (the 2016 Gran Prix notwithstanding). You could make the argument this is the biggest test to see how far Sam and his gimmick can go, and I get the feeling he’s going to knock it out of the park. I cannot wait to see how he does here; I cannot wait to see how Atlantis and Volador play off him…I just cannot wait to see this match. Perhaps it doesn’t end up the best “work rate” match of the night (though it could because everyone here is awesome) but it’ll definitely be one of the most memorable bouts. Here’s hoping Atlantis and Sam show some serious chemistry, leading to CMLL’s head honchos going “you know Atlantis putting his mask on the line against the evil gringo who supports Trump could be serious money.” Hire me Paco!
Winners: If this were me, I’d have Sam, Casas and Felino take this one in three falls, followed by Sam draping the Trump flag over Atlantis as a near revolt occurs. Sadly I don’t see either of those scenarios happening; the technicos win after Atlantis submits Sam with La Atlantida and Volador kills Felino with the Super Rana. Sorry Felino; it’s your turn to take the big move.
Dragón Lee, Mistico, Valiente vs. Euforia, Niebla Roja, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: Would you believe this is now the fifth straight undercard match that looks super good? It’s like CMLL knows they have a terrible main event and are trying to make up for it by doing everything but rebooking the match they should be rebooking. But I digress. This is basically the Sky Team vs. Los Guerreros with Dragón Lee in Volador’s spot, which means we’re getting the same really good match we always get between these two sides with possibly more craziness because hello, Dragón Lee is there. Expect this to be very fast paced, at least one OMG moment from Lee, Valiente showing up without pants yet again and one of the rudos taking Dragón Lee’s apron hurricanrana. My head says Niebla Roja will take it while my heart wants Euforia. Hey if I’m trusting anyone to make even the worst move look like the “Jesse’s Girl” scene from Boogie Nights, it’s Big Euf. Give him the apron rana spot and I bet Euf could turn it into a bigger masterpiece than it already is.
Winners: This feels like a technicos victory, even with UG involved. I say Valiente takes him out of the picture with the Valiente Special, leaving Dragón Lee to pin Roja with the Double Foot Stomp and Mistico submitting Big Euf with La Mistica in the third fall.
Carístico, Diamante Azul, Máximo Sexy vs. La Máscara, Pierroth, Rush
What to Expect: Oh…boy. The good news is that Carístico and Máximo are here and you know they’ll do something entertaining. That’s pretty much it. Otherwise you can expect a whole lot of Los Ingobernables beat downs, a whole lot of Rush and Máscara killing time before they hit the nearest Gentlemen’s club in the area and a whole lot of Diamante Azul and Pierroth trying and failing miserably to convince you that their match at Homenaje a Dos Leyendas will be anything more than the remake of Troll 2 nobody wanted. In a way you could look at this as a preview to H2L; an undercard that looks really good on paper followed by a main event that makes you want to head for the hills. Take solace in the fact that this is the last week we have to deal with CMLL building to this match sports fans. Sure there will be rematches and shit, but at least that’s leading nowhere!
Winners: Pierroth tears off Diamante’s mask in the second fall, causing a DQ. That’s it right? I’m done. Please?
There you have it girls and boys. I shall return tomorrow to review this show, and if I’m up for it I may even have my first Lucha Underground column in awhile during the day. Depends on my mood. Till we meet again, THIS!