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CMLL Puebla Preview: The Lightning Queen

Updated on March 19, 2017

Hey kids, it’s me! I bet you thought I was doing that line from Billy Madison right here! Nope, going to resist temptation, much like I have to actually drop $3 to see CMLL’s Homenaje a Dos Leyendas this past Friday. I said I was going to boycott the Diamante Azul-Pierroth match and I did, a decision that appears to have paid off considering how so-so the show was. It’s in the past now however (unlike Diamante and Pierroth’s feud unfortunately), which means it’s safe for me to come out of hiding and preview Monday’s show in Puebla. I’m going to go out on a limb and say this show will generate a tad more excitement than H2L, and it may have something to do with the big time main event and the big time Lightning Match featuring the greatest luchadora alive happening. Big stuff folks, big stuff. So let’s not waste time and get to the previewing. Moses, it’s that time again!

Meyer, París, Vega vs. King Jaguar, Rey Apocalipsis, Toro Bill Jr.

What to Expect: What do you get when you put three solid technicos against three talented but painfully slow rudos? A disjointed and average match, that’s what! Sure that punch line was terrible but it basically sums everything up. Meyer and París can have some really good days, Vega is capable of great things and Jaguar, Apocalipsis and Toro Bill are three Puebla based rudos that don’t make you want to stab your eyes out with the pointy ears of your Batman bobblehead. They sadly are also three rudos who too often than not work way too slow, and I see no reason to believe that’ll be different here. At least there will be some decent moments, which is more than I can say for the continued Diamante Azul-Pierroth shenanigans.

Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.

Espíritu Maligno, Rey Samuray, Zaeta Roja vs. Cancerbero, Policeman, Raziel

What to Expect: Get hyped folks; the Espíritu Maligno-Policeman feud continues with this match!

Alright so the feud isn’t lighting the world on fire and probably isn’t going to start with this match. The good news is that the match itself should be pretty fly (for a white guy). Whether it’s Arena Puebla, Arena Coliseo, Arena Mexico or Arena de 711 Parking Lot, you know that Cancerbero and Raziel are going to bring a lot of grumpy old luchador theatrics, great double teams and generally decent wrestling. Meanwhile Maligno is bringing Rey Samuray to the party, meaning there’s a 95% chance Samuray steals the show and makes us all wonder why he’s doomed to be stuck in Puebla till he’s doing his best Asturiano impression. Oh yeah, Zaeta Roja will also be there! Overall this has the makings of a pretty decent second match even with Maligno and Policeman continuing their DOA feud. For their sake, hopefully they bring something cool to the table to make sure the feud doesn’t get lost in the shuffle of Cancerbero/Raziel double teams and Rey Samuray dives.

Winners: Has Maligno gotten one up on Policeman yet? It doesn’t feel like he has. Thus I’m going to say this Monday is the day; Maligno pins Policeman in fall three to secure the technicos the victory, and formally makes a challenge for a hair vs. hair match between the two for next week. And yes, I’m trying to will that challenge to happen so we can finally stop worrying about this feud running aimlessly until Cthulhu comes down to kill us all.

Lightning Match

Princesa Sugehit vs. Zeuxis

What to Expect: The only issue this match has it that it can only go ten minutes. Otherwise I am HOOKED! I’m of the mindset that any Zeuxis singles match should be considered a universal holiday. The Queen of Lucha Libre isn’t just great; she may be one of the best wrestlers (not to mention women’s wrestlers) on the planet today, something made all the more apparent when you see her carrying the likes of Estrellita, Sanely, Skadi, Lluvia, Tiffany, La Seductora and others to passable singles and trios matches every week. So the fact that she is now getting a singles match of any kind against her biggest rival AND one of the few luchadoras who can actually hang with her in ring? We might as well call March 20th second Christmas from here on in. I won’t promise you that this match will reach the full potential of what Zeuxis and Sugehit have brought in their matches on non streamed shows, but at the very least this will be ten minutes of fun with at least one awesome spot from the Queen. Good Grodd I’m so excited I can barely contain myself. A ZEUXIS SINGLES MATCH! PRAISE BE WANDA, PRAISE BE!

Winner: Peeps, please; we all know I never bet against the Queen. Whether CMLL is smart enough to set up a rematch for the Mexican National Women’s Championship next week or not, I see Zeuxis getting some revenge on Sugehit with a pin at the eight minute mark following a Package Piledriver. Have I mentioned how excited I am?! A ZEUXIS SINGLES MATCH!

Lestat, Rey Cometa,Stigma vs. Kráneo, Luciferno, Morphosis

What to Expect: I’m not sure if the bigger story here is Lestat’s sudden push continuing or just how putrid that rudo team is. Unless I’m remembering a different Morphosis (and I could be) Kráneo is going to end up being the best rudo in this match, which is like getting excited over Darius Miles being the best player on your favorite NBA team (either now or when he was playing!). Throw in how lost Luciferno gets when he doesn’t have Mephisto watching his back and then technicos are going to have to work extra hard to make this match better than okay. My guess is the usual Puebla restrictions will sadly keep them at bay and this winds up being a ho-hum contest. The one reason to really get excited is this Lestat push. I’m not sure why he’s getting it instead of Rey Samuray, but Lestat is a decent worker and he’s been given an opportunity. Perhaps he can make the most of it.

Winners: Rey Cometa is the only reason I’m not completely discounting the technico team, and even his presence isn’t enough to make me go against the rudos. They take this in three falls after a Luciferno Clash on Lestat and a Kráneo hip attack on Stigma. At least Cometa will escape humiliation via suicide dive onto Morphosis!

Diamante Azul, Mr. Niebla, Terrible vs. La Máscara, Pierroth, Rush

What to Expect: The feud that will not die continues on! Somebody get that faux excitement meme back in here!

I honestly don’t know what to say anymore. Certainly I get CMLL running a few Diamante-Pierroth trios matches for a few more weeks but come on; do we really need more of this? It’s bad enough that we have to watch Pierroth try to wrestle; never mind the fact that we must also endure CMLL booking their matches in the same formula every week, with Rush and La Máscara being subjected to sidekick roles while one talented technico and one comedy dude make up Diamante’s team. The only difference this week is that two rudos (Terrible and Mr. Niebla) are essaying the technico roles, and there’s no way either guy is getting enough time or sequences to make an impact. Your best bet folks; tune out for fifteen minutes and come back when it’s all over. You’ll thank me later.

Winners: Team Diamante wins in two falls, likely after Pierroth or Rush pulls of Diamante’s mask for a DQ. Excuse me while I go lie on railroad tracks and wait for the end of the world, and I don’t mean Johnny Mundo’s finisher.

CMLL World Welterweight Championship Match

Mephisto (c) vs. Carístico

What to Expect: The other great hope for Monday night, aside from Zeuxis vs. Sugehit of course. The problem; unlike the last match Mephisto and Carístico had, this match isn’t taking place in Arena Mexico, where the crowd and effort are far superior and restrictions are much more relaxed. So while you can definitely expect this match to be above average, getting your hopes up for a really strong match might be a mistake. The good news I can offer you is that Carístico and Mephisto are two dudes who bring decent effort wherever they’re working (provided Carístico isn’t working for Elite on the same night) and hell, a decent main event on a Monday show is better than what we usually get. I take it these two will get at least fifteen minutes to work with and will do enough to make this a highly watchable match. Whether they go beyond that is something we’re just going to have to wait and see.

Winner: Last time these two went at it I was expecting Carístico to dethrone Mephisto for the Welterweight Championship. That clearly did not happen, and now I’m left to once again pick between Carístico getting a title he probably should have or Mephisto successfully defending the Welterweight Title for the fourth time since he beat Máscara Dorada for it last year (I miss that Dorada guy. Whatever happened to him?). I think I’ll play it safe and go with Mephisto here; he always seems to pull these out in the end and I actually think he’s done a decent job elevating the title. Look for him to take it in three falls after a Devil’s Wings off the top.

That’s game sports fans! I’ll be back tomorrow to review this show and preview the Tuesday show. Busy day. Till we meet again, DUCHOVNY TIME! It’s back and better than ever, like Eric Bischoff’s theme song.

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