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CMLL Puebla Preview: Things Are Looking Up

Updated on December 4, 2016
VALIENTE IS WEARING PANTS!
VALIENTE IS WEARING PANTS!

Man I am feeling good today. The sun is out; the Pepsi is chilled; I just saw Zeuxis knee Sanely’s face into the Arena Mexico stands yet again. What more could a dude or dudette ask for in life, besides world peace, a lifetime supply of pizza Pringles and no more Olicity? I’ll tell you what; a preview of this week’s CMLL Puebla show. The time is closing in on another CMLL production and holy crap on a cracker I’m actually excited for this one. Yes, you read that right, I am excited for a CMLL Puebla show? What madness caused this? Try a five match card that doesn’t look to have any major duds on it, an excellent (and I mean EXCELLENT) third match and the hope of a big match being set up next week by the main event. As it stands right now this card looks good and life is good. Please don’t change that by tomorrow night CMLL. But enough about the thought of dreams killed; let’s get down to business. Moses, I love the smell of meme in the morning…nope, not using that one again.

Arkalis, Asturiano, Millenium vs. El Malayo, Espíritu Maligno, King Jaguar


What to Expect: Hot damn, even Puebla is getting in on the “this opener looks better than usual” trend. Granted a lot still needs to go right; Millenium, Maligno and Malayo don’t exactly show Final Fantasy levels of consistency in the ring. But they’re all capable, Arkalis and Asturiano are more than capable and King Jaguar, unlike some other Puebla regulars, can actually rise to a level above “decently dull.” If nothing else this will be a suitable start to the show; you won’t miss Centella Roja or his son at all. Well you’ll miss them coming out to “The Final Countdown”, but that’s that. Here I’ll even play that song now you don’t miss that either. And you were wondering if this was going to be a silent column!

Winners: There is doubt here and that’s because the technico team is that good. I’ll go with them to win this one in three falls, with Asturiano leading the way.


Black Tiger, Flyer, Tigre Rojo Jr. vs. El Cuatrero, Policeman, Sansón


What to Expect: This match is one Black Tiger and one Policeman away from being a great match. That’s right International Lucha Libre group on Facebook; I just insulted Policeman and I loved every minute of it.

Seriously, I get that Policeman…no actually I don’t understand the appeal of Policeman at all. People like him even though he consistently comes out and gives average performances on Puebla shows. I guess it must be the badge or something. He’s at least more lively and charismatic than Black Tiger, though that’s like saying Scream 3 was better than Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Why am I still wasting time on these two when there are four talented dudes here? If CMLL is wise, they’ll keep Tiger and Policeman together for limited action while letting Flyer, Tigre Rojo (who’s been really good recently) and the white hot Los Cientificos roam freely. They do that and this match will be good; not as good as it would’ve been if CMLL had just told Tiger and Policeman to stay home but still good. My only other concern is whether or not Príncipe Diamante’s step up springboard hurricanrana from the stage this past Friday inspires Flyer to do it again. Not that I’m against Flyer showing off his skills but dude, you nearly killed yourself doing that last time. Please use caution if you attempt that again, for your physical health and my sanity.


Winners: Los Cientificos aren’t losing a match these days unless Volador status dudes are involved. You see any of them here? One of them pins Black Tiger in fall three to seal the deal.


Guerrero Maya Jr., Rey Cometa, Stuka Jr. vs. Disturbio, Hechicero, Virus


What to Expect: An excellent technico team; Virus and Hechicero teaming together again with a competent rudo as their partner; there’s no need for another semi colon because those two points say it all! I haven’t been this excited for something since they announced The Last of Us Part II, which in fairness was yesterday but who cares?! Don’t kill my dreams world. If this match isn’t at least good then we have failed this city and Cthulhu is coming to end us all.


Winners: In a perfect world CMLL uses this match to set up a second big match next week alongside Valiente-UG, preferably one where Hechicero defends his NWA World Historic Light Heavyweight Championship against any of the three technicos here. I’m not sold on that though, so look for Hechicero and the boys to instead win this one in three falls. I’ll have no complaints; look at this match again. I don’t know if Tirantes was hanging out with Jack Evans and Teddy Hart before booking this but whatever it was he needs more of. More matches like this please!


Ángel de Oro, Johnny Idol, Marco Corleone vs. Euforia, Sam Adonis, Shocker


What to Expect: So many Americans in this one thanks to the return of Uncle Sam Adonis and his Donald Trump pants that I inexplicably didn’t notice for months. I actually really like the way this match looks here and not just because we might get a big man, All American standoff between Adonis and Marco. We all love Johnny Idol (while simultaneously hating how CMLL doesn’t let him run loose), Ángel de Oro is currently on the roll of his life, Euforia is Euforia; hell even Shocker’s inclusion works here because you know CMLL will put him and Marco together for the laughs. I’m not saying this will be better than the last match (seriously, DID YOU SEE THAT LAST MATCH?!) but it’ll have its moments and you know Adonis will have the crowd in a frenzy the moment he makes any sort of gesture or movement. I’m really looking forward to the day Uncle Sam’s antics eventually earn him a feud leading to a hair vs. hair match; the dude will have so much money the only thing he’ll be able to do with it is convert it into gold and go all Scrooge McDuck. Hell that can be his gimmick after the Trump thing runs out; Sam “Scrooge” Adonis. I like it!


Winners: I like the technicos here after Idol hits Shocker with a Lionsault in the third fall. Why Shocker? Why not is the better question.


Mistico, Valiente, Volador Jr. vs. Gran Guerrero, La Máscara, Último Guerrero


What to Expect: What we have here is a straight up rematch from last week’s Puebla, a main event that featured Valiente gunning after UG like UG had stolen his pants from him. That might be true actually, seeing as Valiente wore a Speedo so short for this match that I wrote this column a day later and cannot stop mentioning his lack of coverage ever since. Why am I doing this? Because I’m traumatized and if I must suffer (Ahnuld from Batman and Robin voice) HUMANITY SHALL SUFFA WITH ME!

Alright back to the serious stuff. I was certain CMLL was using last week to lead to Valiente-UG either on this show or next week’s show; you don’t have someone gun after another the way Valiente went after UG and not have it lead anywhere. The problem is that UG already has a super gigantic big match coming up later this month against Carístico and, while I could be mistaken, it’s hard for me to see CMLL allowing UG to take part in two solo matches this month, if only because of the potential for injury and whatnot. In other words I have no idea what CMLL will do here. They could still set up a singles match between the two, they can shift gears and have Valiente feud with Gran Guerrero or La Máscara (neither of which is enticing), they could put Mistico or Volador against one of those two (still not enticing) or a trios championship match could be in the works (more enticing than those other options, but still not ideal). On second thought maybe CMLL should do two singles matches for UG this month! Let’s hope that’s the route and that these six get some decent time. The match last week was solid but short, mainly because of Valiente and UG feuding. I don’t see any issue with them going that route again, only this time longer and with more stuff for Mistico and Volador to do.


Winners: I would love, LOVE, to tell you that Valiente will pick up the win for his team here by pinning UG, setting up a big match between them next week that could be loads of fun. Hell I even think that’s probably going to happen. But this is CMLL and thus I’ll play it safe; UG will sneak in another foul on Valiente to pick up the win and instead of a singles challenge we’ll get a trios titles challenge from the rudos, setting up that match for next week. That will at least be solid, but it doesn’t sound as fresh or as fun as Valiente-UG does. That’s saying something considering I’ve seen UG and Valiente have two singles matches in the past few months.


And scene. That’ll do sports fans; I shall return tomorrow for sure with a preview of CMLL’s Tuesday show, a review of this show and perchance a preview of Wednesday’s Lucha Underground. There’s the slim possibility I return tonight to do some LU related work too, but I won’t promise anything. Till whenever the next time is, something something DUCHOVNY, something something the truth is out there.

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