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CMLL Tuesday Preview: The Never Ending Niebla Roja Story
Ladies, gentlemen, the Great and Epic T.O. (I know you still read me bro); this is one column that I really had to struggle to get through. Why? Because this week’s CMLL Tuesday card doesn’t quite live up to the last few cards CMLL has put together on Tuesday nights. It feels like we’ve had at least one must see match per Tuesday in April; not this week, with most of the matches missing one or two parts to be great, others being just kind of there, others being used to set up angles and don’t even get me started on the soul sucking second match. I’m an optimist and I’ll never be stunned if CMLL pleasantly surprises me, but I can’t say I’m looking forward to this show outside of a few things. Thus this preview was a little bit like pulling teeth. But at least it’s done, which means I can go get my teeth replaced while you read it. My Grodd was that joke bad. Moses, play me off so people won’t notice how much that joke sucked.
Flyer & Magnus vs. Canelo Casas & Espanto Jr.
What to Expect: You know its coming folks!
Yes, the legendary Magnus is back for the second time in less than a week. And he’s teaming with the likeable Flyer no less! Normally this would be cause for celebration; unfortunately they’re stuck in an opening match that has discount Heavy Metal on the other side. You take what you can right? The good news is that Magnus is really, REALLY good (did you not see him this past Friday?), Flyer can be really good and Espanto Jr., the poor soul forced to carry discount Heavy Metal to the finish line, has recently been very good. In short, as long as those three get a lot of time and discount Metal doesn’t (or better yet gets lost on the way to Arena Mexico) then this could be a pretty solid opener. Really, any time you can see Magnus it’s a great thing, so be sure to set aside a few minutes to check this one out.
Winners: It’s CMLL Tuesday and life is unfair. Thus the rudos take this one in three falls, with discount Metal pinning Magnus and Espanto pinning Flyer. Excuse me while I go down rat poisoning to get the bad taste of that result out of my mouth.
Oro Jr., Starman, Stigma vs. Arkángel de la Muerte, Metálico, Sangre Azteca
What to Expect: Hey look; it’s everything that’s wrong with the Tuesday show rolled up into one match! On one side we’ve got a technicos team with two very good luchadors (Oro Jr. and Stigma) and a competent veteran when he decides to try (Starman). On the other side we have two men who deserve to be luchadors as much as I deserve to be captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs and Metálico. You could probably hear the confidence of Oro Jr. and Stigma dying as they saw they were booked for this match. In fact, I think we have a live shot of their reaction right here.
Seriously folks, this isn’t good. Both Starman and Stigma going to mail this one in big time (at least compared to their last few performances) and even if they weren’t this match would have no shot. I know I say this all the time but Arkángel de la Muerte is shit. Actually that’s too kind; he’s worse that shit. He might just be the worst, most uncooperative luchador alive today, which makes it all the more fitting that one of his partners (Azteca) is at best only two spots behind him on that list. The fact that CMLL chose Metálico for this match over Nitro, thus preventing CMLL from putting their three worst luchadors not named discount Heavy Metal together, is the only good thing about this arrangement. Otherwise you just know that Arkángel and Azteca are going to do jack shit to make their opponents look good, you know Metálico, Stigma and Starman will half ass this match knowing it has no shot and that it’ll all fall on Oro Jr. to make this into something. He won’t be able to do it, no matter how hard he tries. My only hopes are that a) Oro doesn’t get hurt by the rudo’s carelessness and b) that his confidence is shattered. Quietly Oro Jr. has been pretty damn good recently (he was a highlight machine in his brief Copa Junior appearance) and I’d like it to stay that way. A match like this could easily set him back to square one.
Winners: As if things weren’t bad enough, you just know the rudos are pulling out the victory here because…because. They win in three after Azteca pins Stigma and Arkángel pins Oro.
The Panther vs. Sagrado
What to Expect: We have no reached the part of the show where things start to look up. All you need to know here is that the Panther is great, Sagrado is great and the only hang up on this match will be how much time they are given. And even then both men should be capable of pulling off a good, fast paced sprint or a near ten minute drama. It probably won’t be the best match of all time, but it’ll be fun for however long it lasts and could even be great, especially at the rate Panther is going. The only downside is going to be all the people who criticize his brother afterwards for not being as good as him; because it’s such a crime to not be an electrifying high flyer/technical wizard when you’re a bulked up dude with a power move set.
Winner: I like the Panther in this one just a tad more than I like Sagrado. He beats the veteran with a Frog Splash at around the 8:15 mark. Why 8:15? Why not is the better question.
Drone, Esfinge, Guerrero Maya Jr. vs. Rey Bucanero, Terrible, Vangellys
What to Expect: Poor Terrible. Last week he was on top of the world with a great main event match against Máximo. Now he’s back in random trios action having to carry Rey Rey Buc and the ever diminishing Vangellys. The good news is that the technico team across the way is pretty good, with Drone coming off a great Copa Junior performance, Guerrero Maya remaining Guerrero Maya and Esfinge…well at least he’s the third guy in this one, which is definitely his best role. Ultimately this will come down to how motivated Bucanero is and whether Vangellys is having a good day. Seeing as neither of those things are close to a guarantee, I think it’s safe to say this match will be a decent but unremarkable match that none of us will remember by the time the show is over.
Winners: Definitely feeling a TGR win here. I say it happens after Terrible hits Guerrero Maya with a Last Ride, redeeming himself for last week’s loss.
Ángel de Oro, Blue Panther, Johnny Idol vs. Gran Guerrero, Luciferno, Mephisto
What to Expect: I guess whatever ailment Ephesto has is still, well, ailing him, hence why Gran Guerrero of all people is his replacement for this match. Honestly his presence does nothing for this match one way or another, considering the only thing that’ll make this match interesting is if CMLL is setting up someone to challenge Mephisto for his Welterweight Championship. And that’s not happening with the main event we’ve got. Thus you’ll get Ángel de Oro doing one cool move, Blue Panther being awesome for not nearly as long as he should be, Johnny Idol doing Johnny Idol things, Mephisto being toned down Mephisto and the other two just kind of being there. Really that’s this match; it just kind of exists. Not a good look for your semi main event these days.
Winners: The technicos get a bone thrown to them with a win here after Blue Panther submits Luciferno and Ángel de Oro submits Gran Guerrero. The Ángel de Oro hot streak is like Matt Hardy in 2005; it will not DIE!!! Remember that Matt Hardy? Good times.
Dragón Lee, Mistico, Valiente vs. Euforia, Niebla Roja, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: If by some chance you haven’t caught the first five thousand matches featuring a team with Dragón Lee going against a dissention riddled Los Guerreros del Infierno squad, allow me to spoil exactly how this match will go; Lee and Niebla Roja will have at least two great sequences that end with them shaking hands, UG will give Roja at least four looks of absolute disdain, Euforia will shove Roja at least two times and this match won’t be nearly as good as you’d expect despite featuring six really, REALLY talented dudes. It’s like the fourth season with Arrow, and I’ll just leave it at that before I’m attacked by a horde of fans going “BUT MUH OLICITY!” Actually I’d probably be attacked from both sides, so it be a mixture of “BUT MUH OLICITY!” and “BUT MUH SLADE WILSON!” I do not lie when I say Arrow fandom makes WWE fandom look like a peaceful civilization.
Back to this match. Even if the in ring stuff disappoints, the one thing you can look forward to is what the next chapter will be in the Niebla Roja-Los Guerreros break up. I was thinking that this would be the week UG and Big Euf finally kicked Roja to the curb. The problem is that Roja, UG and Big Euf are booked as a team for the big “Kids Show” event CMLL is holding this upcoming Sunday, something that wouldn’t be happening if they weren’t guaranteed to be a unit at least till then. So unless something changes there it looks like we will get more of the same infighting between both sides that doesn’t lead to a split. That’s not too promising; what can make it promising is if CMLL continues the storyline between Roja and Lee (two rivals who have come to respect each other during their feud) and ultimately has the split between Roja and his team coming because of that. Will it happen? It’s CMLL so you can’t say for sure. But the fact that Guerreros will be a unit at least through this Sunday does give me hope that CMLL instead uses this week to set up Roja-Lee for next Tuesday, where Roja’s technico turn and issues with UG and Big Euf finally come to a head.
Winners: I’m going to play dumb once more and say that CMLL actually makes the right decision. Niebla Roja beat Dragón Lee just one week ago and I think he beats him again this week in fall three, followed by him challenging Lee to a World Lightweight Championship match next Tuesday. We then finally get to see those two work an extended match and the Guerreros can then screw over Roja in the match, giving us the split and his turn. You heard it here first sports fans.
That’s a wrap sports fans. I’m off to introduce by brother to Legends of Tomorrow, but I shall return late tonight/early tomorrow with a review of tonight’s Puebla show. Till then, THIS!