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LuchaPalooza! CMLL Tuesday Preview (Volador-UG II)

Updated on August 29, 2016

You didn’t think I forgot about CMLL did you?! Just because Triplemania XXIV was last night doesn’t mean the other lucha power goes forgotten; it just gets a well needed day off. That day off is now over and CMLL is back on the clock, first with tonight’s CMLL Puebla show and again tomorrow with the Tuesday show. It might be too late to preview tonight’s shindig but certainly not tomorrow’s, and frankly we’re better off because tonight’s show is like Kansas’ “Dust in the Wind” if it were covered by that girl who sings about getting down on Friday. The Tuesday show looks good though; not the first two matches mind you but everything after that looks to be a sure hit, with a main event that could be legitimately great. Best of all you won’t have to deal with Matt Striker on commentary. But enough flashbacks to the horror you heard last night, let’s break it down. Moses, just get the meme out before I start quoting “Smooth Criminal”.

Bengala & Flyer vs. Camorra & Cholo

What to Expect: If you ever wanted to know what dying in the driest desert on planet Earth felt like, watch this match here. That’s basically the only reason to watch this match. Well that and Flyer, who is really good and coming off an excellent performance just a few Friday’s ago where he made a match with Canelo Casas and Espiritu Negro. Of course that match involved Star Jr. as his partner; now he’s stuck with Bengala and unless the kitty is giving effort you can pretty much expect Flyer to be doing this all by himself. Add in the limitations and we’re back to dying in the desert.

Winners: Flyer should pin everyone. And you know what; that’s what I’m going with. Flyer wins this for his team in the third fall and then just pins Bengala anyway for shits and giggles. He’s going to take the old “What Would Uncle L.A. Park Do?” route.

Estrellita, La Vaquerita, Skadi vs. La Comandante, La Seductora, Reyna Isis

What to Expect: If the last match was dying under the desert sun, this one is dying while being broiled in one of those brick ovens they use to make pizza. Holy shit this will suck. There’s no Zeuxis, no Dalys, no Marcela; there ain’t even a gorram Sanely in this match as CMLL rolls out the women’s B team. Or should I say the women’s F minus team because I’m not quite sure anyone outside of Estrellita can work at a proficient level. My advice; hide or watch old Zeuxis matches and then come back for match three.

Winners: Who cares? We’ll go with Comandante’s team because she has the good sense to chill with Terrible and M. Bison cosplayer Vangellys most of the time. Then again she also hangs out with Shocker and Rey Bucanero…perhaps its best we move on now before I change my mind!

Blue Panther Jr., Pegasso, The Panther vs. El Cuatrero, Forastero, Sansón

What to Expect: This calls for Brian Griffin singing a certain song because this match is…

You’re gorram right I said it! This match takes us right out of the desert/brick oven and douses us with the greatest glass/bucket/whatever or water in recorded history. And I say that without knowing who this Forastero guy is or whether or not he’s any good. All I need to know is the other five guys are capable and that this match features the IMMENSLY intriguing throw down between the Young Panthers and Los Cientificos. This must be my reward for putting up with all those Shocker matches I tell you! It’s always great to see young guys mix it up and it’ll be better here because Sansón and Cuatrero have really become quite good, with only Junior (and to a lesser extent Panther) improving at a higher rate these days. I look forward to seeing them mix it up while Pegasso and Forastero do whatever it is they do. Frankly as long as they stay upright and the kids do what we expect than this should be a great time.

Winners: I HAVE TO PICK?! This is the only downside of getting to watch your favorites fight I tell you. I’d say let the Panthers have this one. Los Cientificos do win all the damn time as is and one loss isn’t going to hurt. Hell if there’s justice this won’t be their last match together and maybe this could be the start of a lovely feud that leads to a Junior vs. Sansón match…oops I forgot this was CMLL and not Lucha Underground for a second! My bad.

Blue Panther, Fuego, Rey Cometa vs. Misterioso Jr., Sagrado, Virus

What to Expect: We’re just going to cut to the chase with this bad boy because it’s really simple. There are two things I want to see here; a whole lot of Panther vs. Virus and a whole lot of Cometa finally being allowed to do more than a couple dives at a time. That’s really all this match needs. Forget the fact that there are three other people involved because we know Fuego is going to do his routine and we know the Bullying Club dudes are going to bully at an average to potentially good rate. If we don’t get a lot of Virus and Panther doing glorious work on the mat and a Cometa finally being let off the leash this match tops out at just okay. Please be better than okay! I really don't ask for much here, aside from no more Shocker.

His anguish sustains me!
His anguish sustains me!

Winners: That damn luchablog got my hopes up again last week when he suggested this could be the beginning of CMLL building up to a Blue Panther-Virus feud. You can’t just unring that bell there and I won’t be the guy to do it. I say Virus pulls off a sneaky win in the third fall for him and the Bullying Club, followed by Panther issuing the challenge and that match being made for next week. Not since Paul London decided to turn into Scuba Paul will I have been so happy.

Dragón Rojo Jr., Mr. Niebla, Pólvora vs. Guerrero Maya Jr., Johnny Idol, Máscara Dorada

What to Expect: Man remember when we started off with those first two matches that looked like a pale piece of shit followed up by another pale piece of shit? Pepperidge Farm remembers and they’re happy we’ve moved on too. I’m not sure quality wise where this one will end up but it’ll certainly be interesting thanks to the continued Rojo-Maya battle, the presence of Máscara Dorada and the continued growth of Johnny Idol. I guess I’m just concerned about a) how they allow these guys to do and b) how much they take it seriously with Mr. Niebla involved. My hope is they let him stick to comedy and have him interact with Dorada (whose spots will play into Niebla’s antics quite well) while Idol pairs off with Pólvora and Rojo and Maya just do their thing. We get that and this should be just fine, even if we don’t get Maya killing himself again with one of those bad ass middle rope sentons.

Winners: They have to be coming close to giving us a payoff with this Maya-Rojo feud right? It’s like waiting for the next Brand New album; you can be patient only so long before the next thing you know you’re at Jesse Lacey’s door and threatening to beat him up with a boom box (the reverse Say Anything… as it were). Considering the fact that we have another decent sized CMLL show in September and the fact that I’m a stupid, stupid man I say we get a finish here that results in someone FINALLY making a mask vs. mask challenge, leading to this being one of the co-main events of the second September show. I know I know; it ain’t going to happen. Did you not see the part where I said I was a stupid man? Work with me here people; work with me the same way you would for Spider-Man!

Volador Jr. vs. Último Guerrero

What to Expect: The hills are alive with the sound of greatness because VOLADOR AND THE UG ARE THROWING DOWN AGAIN! The wait is finally over, the stench of that one match where UG had to carry Shocker is out of our nostrils and we can get back to enjoying life. And, provided no one gets hurt and this isn’t used to just further set up the Trios Championship match involving these two Friday at the Anniversary Show, we should enjoy life quite well during these twenty minutes. The first match between these two in Puebla a few weeks ago was great and in many ways was great because they didn’t just adhere to the UG “checklist” as luchablog and the others call it. I don’t know if that means they’ll go back to it or if they go further away but in the words of Ramses when Nefertiri tells him she’ll never love him, does it matter? These two guys are so good that they can have a good match even in their sleep and unlike a few weeks ago they now have more history and an even bigger match coming up to provide all the heat Arena Mexico needs. All hail your Match of the Evening folks; to me the only question is whether or not they can top the last match. Well I guess that and whether this and the trios match will be used to set up perhaps another encounter where one man unfortunately gets shaved bald. Dammit, now I’m imagining both guys bald again and I need to go sob uncontrollably from the horror.

Winner: This is actually a big deal considering the guy who wins here probably isn’t seeing his team win Sunday. It isn’t a hard choice though; the UG stole the last match from Volador by faking being hit via low blow (the UG loves doing that huh?) and it’s only right that Volador get his revenge here. He may not fake a foul to get the win but Volador will pull it out, issue a challenge to UG yet again and we’ll see where it goes from there. Dammit, I think I just spoiled my pick for the Trios Titles match this Friday! What are you doing Cult?!

That’s it folks. I’ll be back sooner than later today with some more thoughts on last night’s Triplemania and where AAA should go from here. You can also expect me to review tonight’s CMLL show even though the preview was lost in time (like tears in rain). Till we meet again, a look at Pentagon serving as a role model for future arm breakers everywhere!

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