CMLL Puebla Preview: Mystics and Barbarians
I hope you guys and gals have your seatbelts tightened; things are about to get incredibly busy over here for yours truly. I just mapped out my schedule for the next three weeks and let me tell you it’s going to get crazier than that time Angel lost his soul and tried to open a hell dimension (great stuff). That’s why to start today I’m going to take the calm scenic route and do an early preview of CMLL’s Puebla Show Monday night. This is one you won’t want to miss folks. Sure matches 1-5 range from snack pack good to post apocalyptic meltdown but that doesn’t really matter when CMLL is giving us a main event like they will here. It’s so good you will sit through the whole show just to see this match, even if it does leave you like everyone who watches Sudden Impact just to hear Clint Eastwood…did he ask someone to make his day or was it if they felt lucky? I forget. But enough about movie stars who went senile and now support fascists, it’s time to predict. Moses, make memes not war.
París & Rey Samuray vs. El Malayo & Fuerza Chicana
What to Expect: This will be a match folks. Not a good match, not a bad match; just a match that is there in its thereness. Alright it might actually be a little better than that because París and Samuray are pretty good, but they aren’t quite Star Jr./Flyer good which is what it takes to get these opening matches to a high quality with the restrictions in place. I see these two guys doing what they can and having a couple moments, but barring a performance like the one we saw from Star and Flyer last night or one of the rudos rising up a level this will be the standard CMLL opener. Hey at least that means you can spend a few more minutes getting through that level of The Last of Us that keeps giving you shit.
Winners: This when in doubt go with the rudos strategy has really been backfiring on me lately. And yet I’m not going against it yet; it would be so CMLL to give the technicos victories in all three openers last week only to then reverse the script immediately this week. I shall not be fooled! Rudos take this in three falls.
Millennium & Robin vs. Ares & Guerrero Espacial
What to Expect: I’m going to be honest; after Ares got his mask taken off last week in a match that featured Tirantes desperately trying upstage the performers, I didn’t think we’d ever see him show his face again. Not only is he back one week later but Black Tiger, the man who took his mask, isn’t even on the show! Somewhere Matt Mortensen is finding a horse head to send to Paco Alonso.
Ultimately it doesn’t matter as this match is, like the opener, all sorts of just kind of there. As much as I appreciated the effort of Ares last week and don’t blame him or Tiger for how it played out, he’s still the same guy who was just going through the motions weeks before and I’m guessing last week was just a onetime thing considering how big the match was. He’ll be back to normal speed this week, which means Mr. “A THOUSAND YEARS IS OVAH!” himself, Robin and Guerrero Espacial will be looked to deliver greatness. Seeing as Robin is the only one capable, you might be better off doing another Last of Us level before tuning in.
Winners: Rudos are definitely taking this; there’s no way CMLL would possibly job out Ares a week after he lost his mask in the most underwhelming way possible. Right? Right? Good Cthulhu I’m going to be wrong about this one too aren’t I?
Astral, Asturiano, Eléctrico vs. Demus 3:16, Espíritu Maligno, Pierrothito
What to Expect: Finally business begins to pick up in match three, a rematch from last week where this same match ended in a draw. I know; even Mew isn’t as rare as a draw in CMLL! I doubt we’re seeing that again this week which means this match will settle the score between the rudos and technicos. I have no problem with that at all. All three technicos looked great last week, Pierrothito seemed to take things serious and Demus continued his string of consistent performances even though he went longer in ring than he usually does. I expect we’ll see that same strategy employed here with Demus being the main rudo to play off the technicos, who should be flying around almost as much as they did last week. Just please, Asturiano, don’t kill yourself this time. Maybe just do a crossbody from the turnbuckle to the floor instead of a Paul London senton?
Winners: A legitimate tough one to call here. Let’s flip the Canadian Dollar for it shall we? Queen is technicos, Moose is rudos…and it’s Moose! Rudos will win this one and sadly this is the last we’ll have seen of DrawGate. Or, as Ryan Lochte would say during one of his delusions, whatever man.
Ephesto, Luciferno, Mephisto vs. Kráneo, Morphosis, Ripper
What to Expect: I look at this match up and the first reaction that comes to mind is OOOOF! This is…this is not good folks. It’s strange enough that we have two rudo groups going against each other here. When you then take into account that Mephisto is far and away the best worker here then it just gets grim. Maybe this match will surprise us thanks to someone like Luciferno stepping up (he has been good in both singles and trios action recently) or maybe this Morphosis guy (who I’ve never seen) is really good and along with Mephisto will deliver some good action. Beyond that I’m not getting my hopes up beyond the occasional Mephisto move or Kráneo delivering a laugh or two with Mije. Really as long as there’s not too much Ripper I can deal. Keep that lifeless Psicosis look alike away I say!
Winners: Mephisto and the boys, unless CMLL wants to set up an NWA Trios Titles match that is the polar opposite of the Anniversary Show Trios Titles match. Ugh I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it now.
Atlantis, Dragón Lee, Rush vs. La Máscara, Shocker, Terrible
What to Expect: Three days after trying to take off his mask and viciously beating him, Rush and Atlantis will now team up here and probably show no friction whatsoever! That would be the weirdest thing about this match if CMLL hadn’t decided to once again shoehorn Shocker into the proceedings because…how should I know? Seriously CMLL; why do you keep booking this guy, especially after he sucked the life out of both Puebla and Arena Mexico in a two night span last week? The dude has got to have dirty pictures of Paco or something and is blackmailing him to keeping his spot. There’s no other logical explanation. Hayden Christensen deserves more work than Shocker is getting!
I’m cool I’m fine. The good news is that aside from Shocker’s unfortunate involvement this match has a lot working for it. The technicos team is VERY good; how could it not be with one of the two greatest luchadors of all time and two of the best young luchadors today? The rudos team isn’t that bad either with a fully motivated Máscara and Terrible on that side and you know at least Máscara will be given a ton to do thanks to Lee’s involvement. It actually surprises me that CMLL is choosing to build the Anniversary Show match up here on top of all their Super Viernes interactions; perhaps they’re just trying to throw a bone to the Puebla audience for those who will miss the big show? Whatever the case it’s a wise move and the intensity from those two should at least liven this match up and keep it interesting throughout. As long as Terrible is allowed to do stuff, Shocker is limited and Rush/Atlantis do their usual stuff then this should be a fine semi-main event.
Winners: The good thing about doing a Dragón Lee/La Máscara encounter here before Friday is that it allows Dragón Lee to get revenge for his defeat at Máscara’s hands on Monday instead of Friday. I guarantee you that would’ve gotten many a lucha fan nervous about Lee’s potential chances of winning at the Anniversary Show (a match he should most definitely win), whereas him getting revenge on Monday allows for Máscara to then turn the tables again on Friday. That’s why I’m going with the technicos here, with Dragón Lee getting the pin on Máscara in the third fall.
Mistico vs. Cavernario
What to Expect: And here is the reason all eyes will be on this Puebla Show, not to mention the reason all of us will stick around even if the rest of the card is like a season nine episode of The X-Files. My expectations here are nothing short of sky high. You have two of the best young luchadors in CMLL going at it for what appears to be one of the first times ever in singles competition. They’re both healthy, they’ve both been saving their best stuff over the past several matches; anything short of spectacular will leave me quite disappointed. With CMLL likely playing it safe the rest of the week as they gear up for the Anniversary Show I expect this to be both the Match of the Week, the Match of the Evening, the best match of any promotion running a show on Monday Night and quite possibly a sleeper Match of the Year contender. The only things that can possibly hold this match back is if a) Mistico injures himself mid match again or b) the match is used to build towards a mask vs. hair match between these two at CMLL’s mysterious second big show in September. More on that in a second!
Winner: A confession folks; I am of the mindset that Mistico vs. Cavernario, mask vs. hair, will probably be that headliner for the second big CMLL September show. As best I can recall that show is scheduled for only two weeks after the Anniversary Show and as of now they have nothing remotely close to being set up for that show and no storylines in the works…save for this feud. Combine that with how big a deal both guys are and the fact that Cavernario has a big hair vs. hair win against Rey Cometa from only a month ago and it makes sense this be the match. In that case I say this match is used to set it up, with Cavernario getting the win via cheap rudo tactics and then one of the two issuing the challenge post match, which will be accepted. Let the record show that this match will get the time it needs anyway and still be great, which will make the post match challenge even more exciting.
That’s our show folks. Special thanks to all of you who tuned in. I’ll be back soon with some more wacky fun stuff, including another L.A. Park vs. La Parka style column. Till then, a picture of Chandler Bing with a thousand fruit baskets.
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